<b>A middle-aged man has been forced to admit that he purchased a flash sports car to make up for his small penis.</b>

John Thomas, 51, from Woodbridge, was so self-conscious about his manhood that he bought a super-fast motor, thinking it would make him more appealing to women.

But he quickly heard people joking that he had a small todger - folk who never previously suspected that he was lacking in the trouser department.

"I spent £40,000 on the five-litre Jaguar, figuring the ladies would be hugely impressed and assume that not only was I rich, but I was also a fine figure of a man.

"But as soon as I got out on the road, I got snide comments that driving a sports car meant I must have a small penis."

<center><a href="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/jaguar-back-e1441791752331.jpg"><img src="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/jaguar-back-e1441791752331.jpg" alt="Jaguar XK8" width="600" height="389" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1657" /></a></center><center><i>John Thomas' car exposed his embarrassing secret</center></i><br><br>

Mr Thomas, a divorced self-employed psychiatrist, got in a row with mates at his local pub, the Whippet Inn, about the correlation between the size of a man's car and the size of his tackle.

He made a rash bet that the link was not true - but then found he had to prove it.

"I lost a game of spoof which meant I had to prove I was right. Of course, I could not do so without dropping my trousers and pants in the lounge bar in front of all the customers.

"So rather than go through that indignity, I had to reluctantly admit that I did indeed have a tiny penis. My friends thought it was hilarious."

Balding Mr Thomas is now trying to sell his car, and plans to buy a six-year-old Nissan Micra instead.

"Now women will assume I am a big boy," Mr Thomas said. "I have come to learn that size really does not matter.

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