Hi there.
I spotted your rather fine piece on the plight of the once iconic, Dylan out of The Magic Roundabout and enjoyed it so much it has galvanised me into sending you another piece of my atrocious copy. I've even given Norwich a mention as I know how fond you are of the place in general, and of the football team in particular. *dives out of window* Here's hoping you find it vaguely amusing and can find a place for it in your jolly fine publication.

All the best and kind regards

Danny

Outcry as Saudi court sentences Brit masochist to 1000 days of pampering 

Human rights campaigners voiced their outrage last night after a court in Saudi Arabia sentenced a British man to 1000 days in a luxurious spa and wellness centre, despite being aware that he is a confirmed masochist with a penchant for pain and humiliation at the extreme end of the masochistic spectrum.

Mr Toby Dell, 56, an engineer from Norwich, but now living and working in the Saudi capital, Riyadh, was arrested in March this year after being found drunk in the street with a bottle of Scotch whisky in his hand; a crime which normally carries a sentence of imprisonment, usually combined with corporal punishment which is generally meted out in the form of lashes.

It is understood that the court was made aware of Mr Dell's predilection for acute pain and extreme discomfort and that the presiding judge took this into consideration when passing sentence.  

Dell, unmarried, was sentenced to 1000 days in an exclusive and upmarket health spa where he will be given daily massages, rejuvenating facials, saunas, and gently restorative aromatherapy, along with relaxing weekly sessions in a flotation tank.

Mr Dell, broke down and wept as sentence was passed and a number of family members in the public gallery cried out in protest as he was gently carried from the dock in a quilted sedan chair by two burly Thai masseurs.

His lawyer said last night that there would be an appeal and that his client is hoping that, in the meantime, the court will at least grant his request to be beaten vigorously with birch twigs and violently pummelled by a 20-stone masseur after each session in the sauna.
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AUTHOR: Danny Soz
AUTHOR EMAIL: sozsatire@gmail.com
AUTHOR URL: 
SUBJECT: [Suffolk Gazette] Contact us
IP: 141.101.98.166
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    [1_Name] =&gt; Danny Soz
    [2_Email] =&gt; sozsatire@gmail.com
    [3_Comment] =&gt; Hi there.
I spotted your rather fine piece on the plight of the once iconic, Dylan out of The Magic Roundabout and enjoyed it so much it has galvanised me into sending you another piece of my atrocious copy. I've even given Norwich a mention as I know how fond you are of the place in general, and of the football team in particular. *dives out of window* Here's hoping you find it vaguely amusing and can find a place for it in your jolly fine publication.

All the best and kind regards

Danny

Outcry as Saudi court sentences Brit masochist to 1000 days of pampering 

Human rights campaigners voiced their outrage last night after a court in Saudi Arabia sentenced a British man to 1000 days in a luxurious spa and wellness centre, despite being aware that he is a confirmed masochist with a penchant for pain and humiliation at the extreme end of the masochistic spectrum.

Mr Toby Dell, 56, an engineer from Norwich, but now living and working in the Saudi capital, Riyadh, was arrested in March this year after being found drunk in the street with a bottle of Scotch whisky in his hand; a crime which normally carries a sentence of imprisonment, usually combined with corporal punishment which is generally meted out in the form of lashes.

It is understood that the court was made aware of Mr Dell's predilection for acute pain and extreme discomfort and that the presiding judge took this into consideration when passing sentence.  

Dell, unmarried, was sentenced to 1000 days in an exclusive and upmarket health spa where he will be given daily massages, rejuvenating facials, saunas, and gently restorative aromatherapy, along with relaxing weekly sessions in a flotation tank.

Mr Dell, broke down and wept as sentence was passed and a number of family members in the public gallery cried out in protest as he was gently carried from the dock in a quilted sedan chair by two burly Thai masseurs.

His lawyer said last night that there would be an appeal and that his client is hoping that, in the meantime, the court will at least grant his request to be beaten vigorously with birch twigs and violently pummelled by a 20-stone masseur after each session in the sauna.
    [entry_title] =&gt; Contact us
    [entry_permalink] =&gt; http://www.suffolkgazette.com/contact-us/
    [feedback_id] =&gt; 33e7a38d8d89a26072b7137706342da8
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