From Brexit to Sexit 
by Frank Leetwaddle

In the wake of the UK’s momentous decision to leave the EU there is an emerging clarion call for Sexit – Suffolk’s exit from the UK. A recent survey carried out by the Suffolk Liberation Army (SLA) suggests that over 96% of the county’s population would welcome breaking the shackles of Westminster. Many of those considered the ‘Vote Move: Britain better off in South America’ (as reported in these pages) a braver decision than either of the Leave or Remain options offered. 
However the SLA is demanding a referendum on our position in the UK first. The group’s spokesperson, Len Touchitt, has outlined what he believes will be the key battlegrounds for the coming political clash including the escalation of the Suffolk/Norfolk wall, border controls on the Suffolk/Essex borders, the re-introduction of a Suffolk currency, the stoat, the mandatory teaching of a new Suffolk language, Suffux, in schools and the adoption of traditional Suffolk dress.

Mr Touchitt went on to declare the mobilisation of the SLA across the county, pointing out that while the SLA ‘meant business’, they were ‘not to be feared by good, honest Suffolk people. The SLA are here to put the ‘fun’ into fundamentalism’. Mr Touchitt also went to some lengths to distance the SLA from the more radical Independent Suffolk of Ipswich and Stowmarket group.

The SLA is at the forefront of the campaign for a self-governing Suffolk. Recent recruitment drives that have included giving away membership packs comprising of novelty pens, badges with googly eyes and a clubcard offering a 10% discount at Jack’s Café in Ipswich have been ‘massively popular’ according to the SLA’s own website.
 
The SLA is currently training new recruits in hidden locations across mid-Suffolk. Secret filming has revealed a number of committed and disciplined members developing observational and weapons skills as they prepare for a county-wide revolution they say is coming.

Military action is only one choice, say the SLA. The process of Suffolkation need not be a violent one. Before taking such drastic action they have called for a referendum echoing the success of Brexit. In the coming months you may see the stirrings of the sleeping Suffolk giant as the SLA rally the people with glossy leaflets, dubious statistics, a comedy pop song and outrageous claims about foreigners (though its true that the people of Fakenham eat children). This could be the dawn of a new age – people of Suffolk prepare.


I have pictures to add to this but I can't paste in this form.
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AUTHOR: simon
AUTHOR EMAIL: simon@simonprice.tv
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SUBJECT: [Suffolk Gazette] Contact us
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Array
(
    [1_Name] =&gt; simon
    [2_Email] =&gt; simon@simonprice.tv
    [3_Comment] =&gt; From Brexit to Sexit 
by Frank Leetwaddle

In the wake of the UK’s momentous decision to leave the EU there is an emerging clarion call for Sexit – Suffolk’s exit from the UK. A recent survey carried out by the Suffolk Liberation Army (SLA) suggests that over 96% of the county’s population would welcome breaking the shackles of Westminster. Many of those considered the ‘Vote Move: Britain better off in South America’ (as reported in these pages) a braver decision than either of the Leave or Remain options offered. 
However the SLA is demanding a referendum on our position in the UK first. The group’s spokesperson, Len Touchitt, has outlined what he believes will be the key battlegrounds for the coming political clash including the escalation of the Suffolk/Norfolk wall, border controls on the Suffolk/Essex borders, the re-introduction of a Suffolk currency, the stoat, the mandatory teaching of a new Suffolk language, Suffux, in schools and the adoption of traditional Suffolk dress.

Mr Touchitt went on to declare the mobilisation of the SLA across the county, pointing out that while the SLA ‘meant business’, they were ‘not to be feared by good, honest Suffolk people. The SLA are here to put the ‘fun’ into fundamentalism’. Mr Touchitt also went to some lengths to distance the SLA from the more radical Independent Suffolk of Ipswich and Stowmarket group.

The SLA is at the forefront of the campaign for a self-governing Suffolk. Recent recruitment drives that have included giving away membership packs comprising of novelty pens, badges with googly eyes and a clubcard offering a 10% discount at Jack’s Café in Ipswich have been ‘massively popular’ according to the SLA’s own website.
 
The SLA is currently training new recruits in hidden locations across mid-Suffolk. Secret filming has revealed a number of committed and disciplined members developing observational and weapons skills as they prepare for a county-wide revolution they say is coming.

Military action is only one choice, say the SLA. The process of Suffolkation need not be a violent one. Before taking such drastic action they have called for a referendum echoing the success of Brexit. In the coming months you may see the stirrings of the sleeping Suffolk giant as the SLA rally the people with glossy leaflets, dubious statistics, a comedy pop song and outrageous claims about foreigners (though its true that the people of Fakenham eat children). This could be the dawn of a new age – people of Suffolk prepare.


I have pictures to add to this but I can't paste in this form.

)
