<b>EXCLUSIVE
By Hugh Dunnett
Crime Reporter</b>

Two men who attempted to rob a sperm bank were today labelled Britain's dumbest criminals.

The pair burst into the Suffolk Sperm Bank building in Ipswich expecting to grab cash and jewellery - but instead they found only desposits of a different kind.

<a href="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/suffolk-sperm-bank.jpg"><img src="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/suffolk-sperm-bank-239x300.jpg" alt="suffolk-sperm-bank" width="239" height="300" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1157" /></a><center><i>Sperm bank targeted</center></i><br><br>

Police collared the disappointed-looking pair as they attempted to escape clutching nothing more than a few pornographic magazines.

Detective Inspector Paul Hood told the Suffolk Gazette: "The two men were Eastern European and had clearly recognised the word 'bank' on the signs outside the building.

"But they evidently had no idea that a sperm bank was something very different.

"Armed with a lead pipe, they burst in through the front door, and CCTV pictures from inside the building clearly show them scratching their heads as they wondered where all the safes containing money were.

<b>'Embarrassed'</b>

"Rather than rows of cashiers behind security screens and hundreds of thousands of pounds, they were confronted with nothing more than a receptionist and a few embarrassed-looking men.

"The building's alarm then went off and we arrested the would-be robbers as they tried to run off up Tavern Street."

Det Insp Hood said two men, aged 27 and 31, had been charged with attempted robbery and would appear before Ipswich magistrates in the morning.

No-one in the bank was hurt, although the receptionist was said to be "shocked".

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