<center><a href="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/vote-sam.jpg"><img src="http://www.suffolkgazette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/vote-sam.jpg" alt="Vote Uncle Sam Allardyce" width="800" height="450" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-4789" /></a></center><br><br>

<B>By Our Diplomatic Staff

Outspoken Sam Allardyce is a shock last-minute replacement for Donald Trump in the race to become the next President of the United States.</b>

Big Sam has been parachuted into the Presidential race after Republican leaders realised he was even better at putting his foot in it than Mr Trump.


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Allardyce's incredible gob, deceit and arrogance cost him his job as England manager yesterday, but they were qualities much admired by those who backed billionaire Trump for the White House.

The 70-year-old Mr Trump has now been quietly dropped and Allardyce is being introduced to the American public, who have already given a huge thumbs up to the new "Vote Uncle Sam" slogan.

A republican insider said: "This is pure genius. We had worries over Donald's lasting power as a gobshite, but this guy Allardyce is the real deal.

"The voters will love his brash, self-importance. We can't wait for the next live television debate with him facing off against Hillary Clinton - she won't have a clue how to deal with him, because he is also a brilliant tactician."

Republicans have already swatted away criticisms of Allardyce's suitability. Asked what experience he has on the international stage, a spokesman said: "Apparently he has a 100% record - you can't get any better than that."

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