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<p><strong>A Suffolk woman has warned people not to buy a border collie when they are drunk, after making a terrible mistake last week.</strong></p>
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<p>Lorraine Fisher, 34, from Saxmundham, woke up on Saturday morning to find a cow sitting on her sofa, mooing loudly.</p>
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<p></p>
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<p>The call centre manager had been on the lash after work on Friday and vaguely remembers agreeing to buy a border collie from a bloke in the pub for £200.</p>
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<p>"He seemed like a nice man," Lorraine recalled. "Next thing I know I'm waking up on Saturday morning with a raging hangover - and a bloody cow in the sitting room.</p>
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<p>"It is clearly not a border collie but in my inebriated state, it was an easy mistake to make."</p>
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<p>Lorraine now hopes to find the owner of the cow, which is costing her an arm and a leg in milk.</p>
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<p>[AdSense-B]</p>
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<p>Local potato farmer Maurice Piper, who also keeps a few cows in a field outside Saxmundham, has reported one is missing and will check over Lorraine's specimen.</p>
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<p>Meanwhile, police say if it is found the cow was stolen and sold to Lorraine, they will press charges.</p>
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<p>A spokesman said: "We'd like to speak to the gentleman from the pub, who is known only as Russell."</p>
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<p><em>** Hat tip for this story idea to multiple internet sources (memes) and to Twitter user </em><a href="https://twitter.com/Hipchickadee"><em>@Hipchickadee</em></a><em> who also had a good run with it!</em><br></p>
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<p>[AdSense-C] </p>
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