Nudist beach shock for Aldeburgh

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By Phil McCracken

A nudist beach will be opened at the posh seaside resort of Aldeburgh next summer, the Suffolk Gazette can reveal.

The coastline opposite the historic Moot Hall will be roped off and become available exclusively for those brave enough to bare all despite the English weather.

Naturists welcomed the liberal move, which was voted through by councillors in a rowdy meeting last night.

But residents and rich London second-home owners were furious. Local vicar, The Rev Evan Elpuss was also upset, claiming public nudity was a sin and would only encourage promiscuity.


The nudist beach was proposed in order to broaden Aldeburgh’s appeal, which tourism chiefs believed was too narrow. Brian Collins, responsible for visitor numbers to the Suffolk Coastal area, said: “Aldeburgh has a bit of a ‘stick-in-the-mud’ reputation and we need to drag it into the 21st century.

“We threw around a few ideas, including a fun-fair, bingo hall and a greyhound stadium, but settled on a nudist beach as the most appealing to the general public.

“The nudist beach will be only 200-yards wide and it will be roped off. However, it will be visible to anyone walking past, and to visitors on the normal beach on either side.

“For anyone with a special interest, we plan on erecting a special viewing platform on top of the Moot Hall.”

The Rev Elpuss blasted the plans. “It’s disgusting. People visit Aldeburgh precisely because it is old-fashioned and offers a totally different pace of life.

“Who wants to visit the town and be faced with bare breasts and worse? I urge the council to reconsider.”

And local bakery owner Camilla Farquarson-Hunter stormed: “The only baps on display in Aldeburgh should be my own floury ones.”

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Surely it is better for “bare baps” to face East rather than South?
As newcomers to Suffolk, and my wife and I being “holiday naturists” in Europe, I welcome such a radical change in attitude to beach nudity on the Waveney Coast.
*I also reserve the right to shoot any gulls approaching my ‘pecker’ or fish and chips! Fair?
Muff McDiver & wife


Even if this story were true, you would only get the gay boys and over 60’s.


I can’t see problem with keeping abreast of the times!


It is a sin?
Stupid fucking religious assholes can fuck off.

Dave abbott

There’s enough dicks about in aldeburgh in the summer
We don’t need more !

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