Ivor Traktor misbehaves after drinking reader donations

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From The Editor

As a paper of record, I feel it my duty to report that the Suffolk Gazette team has enjoyed the first fruits of our generous readers’ donations – although Ivor Traktor, our Farming Correspondent (intern), seemed to enjoy it more than most.

Being a young lad, he’s not used to partaking in large quantities of anything stronger than fruit juice. But as I dutifully shared out the money that poured in over recent months to our Buy Us a Beer campaign, and as young Ivor has recently turned 18, I led him down to the Suffolk Gazette’s corporate headquarters, aka The Greyhound pub in Ipswich.

Needless to say, the scamp took no notice of my warnings about pacing himself, and supped many a pint of Adnams before I realised what was going on.

Without warning, he took off his shirt and started running around the pub singing: “I’ve got a brand new combine harvester”, even though that is not true – he has, in fact, just bought himself a moped.

Thankfully Mr Lightfoot, the esteemed boss at The Greyhound, who is a closet Norwich City supporter (traitor), was in forgiving mood, and allowed Ivor to remain on the premises, so long as he sat quietly in the corner and put his shirt back on. There were no further problems.

The generosity of our readers keeps us going. We’re a hobby site and make no great amount from people clicking on the adverts (well, we would, if all readers did so every day), and so reader donations help pay for the rather tedious costs of internet hosting etc.

If you enjoy our ridiculous important world exclusives, and are not the type to click on internet ads, then please feel free to make a small donation now, using the Paypal button in the widget below this post.

I’ll then take the Suffolk Gazette team out for another “editorial brainstorming” session at The Greyhound. It’s the beer that keeps us creative and the stories flowing!

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