By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
The people of Norfolk are delighted with a new map that carefully illustrates the county so visitors can find their way around.
Produced by Suffolk Gazette Cartographers Ltd, the map is a must purchase for anyone foolhardy enough to want to visit Norfolk.
While much of the county is home to dragons or is so far unexplored, there are some high points for tourists.
On the north Norfolk coast, there is Wells Next The Sea, a town whose name does not even make sense, and which is jealous of Suffolk’s posh coastal towns of Southwold and Aldeburgh.
Also on the north coast is an area called Cromer, made famous recently by the visit of jolly members of the Irish travelling community. Everybody was having such a nice time that even all the local businesses shut up shop to join in the celebrations.
Further down the coast is a town famous for kiss-me-quick hats, drunken sex, unemployment and slot machines. Yarmouth, which surprisingly has the word ‘Great’ in front of it, is a holiday destination presumably for those who had not done any sort of research beforehand.
The Norfolk Broads can be seen on the map, together with Wroxham, a town that is owned entirely by the Roy family.
Norwich, home to local radio host Alan Partridge and a crap football team, is the county administrative HQ and is accessible by horse and cart.
Finally, the map identifies the southern border, where Suffolk authorities have erected a huge Game of Thrones-style wall to prevent Norfolk people from crossing into the Promised Land and stealing crops.