Monday, March 18, 2024

Turkey who voted for Christmas is getting suspicious

Turkey voted for Christmas

A turkey who voted for Christmas is beginning to think he made a terrible mistake.

Steve Walshe, age one, said he was led to believe Britain would be better off voting for Christmas.

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And he was told that if he voted for Christmas, turkeys across Britain would get a huge pay rise in the New Year, amounting to £350 million a week.

“It was quite the sales pitch,” said turkey Steve from his shed in Halesworth, Suffolk.

“I believed every word of it, and was looking forward to a much better life after Christmas.

“Plus I was worried about foreign birds migrating here every year, but I’m not racist or anything.

“So I voted for Christmas because everything would then be brilliant, just like the old days.

“Now it seems I have made a bit of a mistake – it looks like I was told a load of b*llocks.”

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Lorraine Fisher, 34, who campaigned against Christmas for turkeys, said she was upset so many of them had been deceived.

“I warned them not to vote for Christmas – it would not end well.

“But they wouldn’t listen, and now they are f*cked.”

However, not everyone is upset by the news.

Local butcher Nigel Farage said: “Yes, a few turkeys will find Christmas is not all it was cracked up to be.

“But really it’s not the fault of us butchers – it’s the bloody Brussels sprouts that really ruin it for us all.”

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