Bubba Spuckler – 56 “Lorry Driver is apparently not happy with Mr Sunnak!
Diwali day celebrations at Rishi Sunak. Becoming Britain’s first non-white and Hindu Prime Minister were this afternoon. Spoiled by a 56-year-old lorry driver “Bubba Spuckler”. Claiming that he, and not Mr Sunak, should rightfully be the nation’s newest PM.
Sunak, 42, a GP’s son whose Indian grandparents emigrated from Kenya to Britain. Today he became the Prime Minister after his two closest rivals, Boris Johnson and Penny Mordaunt pulled out of the race to lead the Conservatives and the nation.
I didn’t know Bejam was still going!
However, a disgruntled native of Downham Market in Norfolk, Bubba Spuckler (the lorry driver) took to social media to state. “An Indian Prime Minister and a Muslim London Mayor. I told you they’ll come over here and steal our jobs!. Quite how Mr Spuckler’s current position as a lorry driver for Bejam qualifies him as an overlooked contender for Mr Sunak’s new role, he did not make clear.
Buba the Lorry Driver
Nor, did lorry driver, whose Facebook page carries a picture of him wearing faded dungarees without any underclothes. Explain why he thinks he would be suited to run London, a city with a population of 8.8 million diverse citizens and an annual budget of over £638 million.
Horses for courses
This isn’t to say of course that London Mayor, Sadiq Khan who was born in Tooting, South London. Sunak who is from Southampton (both English), would be capable of hauling frozen goods across East Anglia in a 44-tonne articulated lorry (although they probably could.)
The Peter principle
…is a theory put forward by Canadian educationalist, Laurence J. Peter, which suggests that people in a management hierarchy. Who are promoted based on their success in previous jobs, will eventually reach a level at which they are no longer competent, and therefore fail or rise no further. This is due to the truism that skills that apply in one job, do not necessarily translate to another. Liz Truss.
Rishi Sunak claimed the Throne, Bojo out from the race
Boris is out from the race to the Prime Minister as Rishi Sunak claimed for the Throne as a strong candidate.
Bojo the clown returned to London this week with his lapel flower water squirter fully loaded. Ready to reclaim his oversized shoes. But by the time his squeaky, square-wheeled circus jalopy arrived, the circus had already left town.
Rishi Sunak claimed the Throne
With rival ‘number juggler’, Dishi Rishi Sunak claimed it already and tumbling rapidly towards No.10, pre-loved. Bojo did his best to quickly brush up his tired old act, desperate as he was to avoid being remembered as the ‘shittest showman on earth.’
With tickets to the Sunak Spectacular selling out fast, Bojo and his claque of slapstick goons. Nadine ‘Grimaldi’ Dorries, Michael ‘Mooky’ Fabricant, and Jacob Rees-Mogg (no clown nickname required) were spotted goofballing around Westminster. Tripping over each other and throwing custard pies into each other’s faces as they desperately tried to prank their way back into the big top.
Bojo’s disappointment
But the upside-down smile painted across poor old, Bojo’s face wasn’t for turning. Unable to put bums on seats, and just as foretold in the classic Sondheim weepie, ‘Send in the Clowns’. By the time the saggy old jester had made his entrance, so sure of his lines… no one was there.
So what will perfectly pornographic Penny Mordaunt, the ‘Ringmistress of Risque’ have to say about all this buffoonery? Will she tame the mangy assembly of flea-bitten lions with one ferocious crack of the whip. And step into the spotlight herself, or instead bring harmony to the entire performance with a slo-mo swish of her lovely, lustrous hair and a wank-worthy wink of a big blue-green eye hollering “Send for Dishi Rishi! Send in the King clown!”
Who do you think is the biggest Bozo in the Tory leadership election?
BBC has hurt the feelings of lovely little jackboot-shaped country, somewhere to the south of France called Italy over spaghetti.
The BBC, who are about to slash 400 of their jobs and leaving no other option for their workers but to starve in Manchester streets. Have claimed that Spaghetti originates from Hawaii.
It’s surprising BBC lasted this long, considering how bolshie it’s become. What would the old, kind-hearted aunty Beeb make of it, one wonders?
Here we go again, picking fights with everyone. Not satisfied with taking on Boris Johnson over Brexit (win), and then Boris Johnson over partygate (win), then Cressida Dick and the Metropolitan Police over multifarious scandals (win), and then Boris Johnson over Owen Patterson (win), and then Boris Johnson over Chris Pincher (win), and then ITV (win, win, win), the Belligerent Bolshie Corporation (B.B.C.) is now gunning for… wait for it… Italy!
Melon Spaghetti
Yes, Italy that provides all that lovely olive oil, wine, and pizza and never hurt anyone, is next on the B.B.C.’s shite list. Why? Well because the people of democratic Italy have just elected the conservative right-wing politician, Giorgia Meloni as their favoured leader, of course!
This will simply not be tolerated at the B.B.C and they started a Spaghetti debate.
The B.B.C.’s campaign of F.U.D. (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) against Italy and Meloni’s Eurosceptic, anti-immigration ‘Brothers of Italy’ Party has already begun.
The Fear is that the Brothers of Italy will bring fascism back to the streets of Italy through violence and intimidation.
The Uncertainty is where the ambitions of Meloni and her followers will end – perhaps Itaexit (that doesn’t really work does it?) or worse.
The Doubt is whether or not Spaghetti actually originates from Italy. Eh?
Blackwhite
Yes, according to one of the B.B.C.’s food recipes, spaghetti is… Hawaiian! It’s like George Orwell’s 1984 all over again. They really will stop at nothing, will they?
Only time will tell how the vicious bastards at the Beeb will get on against Italy. Since 1861, Italy has fought in 10 wars and won 8 of them. Not a bad record. And let’s not forget they Beat England in the final of Football’s Euro 2020 (Southgate out!) Let battle commence.
Just as the French banned the import of British beef for TEN YEARS between 1996 and 2006 over mad cow disease, Suffolk is to retaliate in kind with its own ‘Frog Ice Lolly’ ban.
The cause of the row was a Raspberry ripple lolly produced by French frozen goods firm ‘Les Iciclés’, imported as part of a batch from France that was served to an unsuspecting customer in Lowestoft.
The unfortunate recipient of ‘le lolly’ was cute little English holidaymaker, Mollie Henderson, 5 from Essex (imagine Shirley Temple singing ‘On the good ship – Lollipop’, that’s her.)
This reporter spoke to Mollie after buying her a edible, English ‘funny feet’ Ice lolly to stop her crying: ‘My mummy pwomised me a lolly because I was a good girl all day. I ate all my bwekfast and did a poo poo in the potty without making a smelly mess.’
Aaaaw
And what happened when mummy gave you the lolly, Molly? “When mummy gived me the fwench lolly… I licked it and then I saw the fwog and then I puked. I don’t like fwogs because boys are made of fwogs and girls are made of sugar and wainbows.”
Cute frog in Ice lolly
And what do you want the French to do about it, Mollie? “I want the fwench to say sowwy to me and my mummy and daddy because I didn’t want to eat a yukky fwog on my holidays. And my dad says he also wants sumfing called compwensation. I think he said 10 gwand or sumfink?”
I think I am going to puke
The 1,000-year ban on French Ice lollies will begin on 25th October – the 607th anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt.
Boris face was spotted in curry, this bizarre occurrence at a secret late-night meeting of top toffee-nosed Tories. May be the catalyst for a Boris Johnson return to number 10!
The secret meeting was held in the wake of Liz Truss’s balls-up of the UK economy. Conservative party plotters gathered in secret around a beer. And a curry to decide who will be loopy Liz’s replacement as PM.
All the Splunts
As reported, the location of the secret dinner meeting attended by unnamed figures. Such as: Rishi Sunak, Penny Mordaunt, Suella Braverman, Jeremy Splunt and Ben Wallace was a complete secret from everyone – except the guy who delivered the curry with Boris face on it.
An anonymous insider who spoke to the Suffolk Gazette told us: “So I had delivered the take-away. I’m standing there in the kitchen of Rishi Sunak’s house (he wanted me to carry it for him) and I’m waiting for a tip. All these posh Tories were there – he doesn’t have any working-class friends. They start to open up the cartons and help themselves. Then, this bloke who just looked like a generic Tory toff yelled out ‘It’s Boris!’. I found out later it was Sir Graham Brady, Chairman of the 1922 committee.”
Boris face Curry delivery
The Deliveroo rider adjusted his arse on the east of his Suzuki 125 and went on… “So everyone looks over at him and he’s sitting on a kitchen chair with a plate of rice and curry on his lap. He spins it around so everyone can see and… to be fair… it’s old Bojo innit? Made out of chicken curry, aka Boris face curry”.
We asked Sir Graham Brady, Sushi Rishi and the others present for comment. But unsurprisingly, no-one would admit they were at the curry plotters party.
Is it written in the Star of India? Is the keema schemer, Baji Bojo planning a return to Downing Street? Who knows?
Since the reopening of economies mid-last year, the European continent has experienced a rollercoaster of emotions. On the one hand, things have slowly returned to normal, and businesses are picking up again. While on the other, atrocities such as the war in Ukraine continue to happen and have devastating effects on businesses all over the continent. However, some private companies have braved the waters and chosen to have their IOPs this year despite all this.
An IPO or an initial public offering is when a private company sells shares to the general public for the first time. This allows the company to raise capital from public investors for further development and business-building activities. As well as allows you, as the public, to invest in growing companies. The UK has already witnessed many successful IPOs this year, and this piece will look at some of the noteworthy ones.
1. Viral Biolabs Group
On July 21, 2022, Viral Biolabs Group completed its IPO and trading of its shares commenced on the Nasdaq. It put out 1,350,000 ordinary shares for $5 per unit, which added to a gross proceed of $6.75 million before expenses, commissions, and discounts. One of the UK’s most respected representatives, Bousted Securities, oversaw the IPO, which went on without a glitch.
Viral Biolabs Group is a biotech company founded in 2013, innovating in the field of viral diseases. Its main aim is to aid in detecting, preventing, and diagnosing virally transmitted infections and improving the human condition by eradicating them. The company owns a few proprietary T-cell test technologies that help assess an individual’s immune deficiencies to viral threats. And if the last few years are anything to go by, this technology is undoubtedly needed.
2. ClimateRock
ClimateRock is a newly formed blank-check company led by Chairman Charles Ratelband V and CEO Per Regnarsson. Earlier this year, the new company announced an IPO of 7,500,000 shares and an over-allotment option of 375,000 more. The IPO’s asking price per share was $10 for a total gross proceeds of $78.75 million before expenses, and the Maxim Group LLC ran it.
Trading of the shares on the Nasdaq began on April 28, 2022, using the CLRC symbol. In addition, Charles and Per have not yet confirmed what the company will be doing, but it’s widely speculated that they will be looking to merge and purchase shares and assets from varying industries.
3. TC Biopharm
TC Biopharm is a clinical-stage biopharmaceutical company that also announced its IPO earlier this year. Its initial offer was for 4,117,648 shares, but unlike the rest of the companies we’ve looked at, these were American Depositary Shares (ADSs). Furthermore, the underwriter also availed 8,235,296 ADSs warrants to acquire ADSs at the current market price within six years. If some of these concepts fly over your head, this trading guide will provide you with a comprehensive list of online brokers in the UK who can help you navigate some of these offerings.
After the company’s IPO was over, it raised $17.5 million in gross proceeds before deducting expenses and commissions.
The company hopes to advance its research efforts on gamma-delta T-cell therapies, which have extensive use in treating cancers and viral infections like myeloid leukaemia. It’s also one of the leading companies in this field, and prospects are not looking too bad.
4. Akanda Corp
One of the more exciting companies to launch their IPO this year is Akanda Corp, a fast-growing medical cannabis company. The IPO consisted of 4,000,000 common shares priced at $4 each, adding to a pretty gross proceed of $16,000,000 before expenses. Boustead Securities spearheaded this effort, and as of March 15 this year, the shares had started trading on the Nasdaq using the symbol AKAN.
Akanda hopes to upgrade its facilities and increase its working capital to help streamline operations. Its primary purpose is to provide the public with high-quality cannabis products that help reduce life pressures and improve people’s quality of life. In addition, it’s also developing a seed-to-patient supply chain that makes it easier for its customers in the UK and Europe to access its range of products based on competitively advantaged grown cannabis from Lesotho.
When it comes to business, your focus needs to be on growth, profit, and ways to increase efficiency across the board. Boosting efficiency, however, is sometimes easier said than done. In between keeping vendors happy and finding ways to increase your ROI, it’s easy to lose sight of ways to be efficient. Even if you’re buried in your to-do list, there are still things you can do to make your business work like a well-oiled machine. You just need to know what to focus on.
Utilize the Right Software
Behind every successful business are employees who know how to get the job done. Finding, hiring, and training new hires is both time-consuming and expensive. You need to have the right tools in place to facilitate daily processes. Some of the most common ones you should automate are payroll, supply chain management, customer management, and even tracking your fleet. If you’re not sure how to do the latter, all you need to do is install a fleet tracker. GPS tracking allows you to see first-hand where your drivers are in real time, which can decrease late deliveries while increasing your company’s efficiency.
Communication Tools
With so many people working from home, and the cost of living crisis creating so many stressors in life outside work, proper communication is non-negotiable. Aside from texting on the phone, you now have a variety of options to improve and enhance how you and your employees communicate. While come companies still use Facebook messenger and Yahoo, others have already streamlined the communication process and use more modern applications like Slack. Slack gives you and your team a way to communicate in a blink of an eye without having to sign into a social media platform. You can also share files with your team or one on one with individual person.
Think Like a Customer
One of the best ways to reach career goals and improve how your business operates is to think like the customer. Put yourself in their shoes and think about all the things you’ve noticed when you interact with a business. Think about positive and negative experiences and try to identify things that stand out. When a business is efficient and operates well, is it because employees are in sync and work well together, or is it because they have a strong leader who gives them proper direction? The same holds true in negative situations. What was going on that made things not flow properly? Did it appear like no one was on the same page, or was it evident that the boss really didn’t care about what their employees did?
Keep Meetings Short
No one wants to sit in long-winded meetings. Most people want to keep meetings to 30 minutes or less. In fact, unless there is a major change happening, longer meetings can actually hinder productivity and efficiency. After sitting for long periods of time, it’s not uncommon to feel tired, bored and unmotivated. Shorter meetings that are short and to the point can inspire people do what’s expected.
Minimize Distractions
Whether you have a team of one or 100, you need to minimize distractions. Depending on the situation, you may need to put cell phones away, limit internet use while at work, and keep background noise to a minimum. People work better when they’re able to focus, not try to dodge ringing phones, incoming Facebook messages, or loud music playing overhead.
Reconsider Multi-Tasking
It might seem like a good idea to get as much done as possible, however, there are times this can backfire. Not everyone can juggle more than one thing at a time, which often leads to poor quality, missed deadlines, and even a loss of customers. Instead of putting too much pressure on yourself or an employee, consider single-tasking. Delegate work in a way that anyone who’s responsible for it can perform their duties to the best of their abilities. If it’s you, try focusing on one task until completion. Take note of how quickly you can complete the task and whether it was less stressful. Often, many realize an uptick in overall efficiency when they focus on one task at a time.
Automate Processes
There are so many processes you can automate. From order filling to completing payroll, you’d be surprised how much time routine tasks actually take to complete. In fact, it’s not uncommon to lose hours every week completing tasks that could easily be automated. Even your marketing efforts can be automated, which can help you build a following without having to check your phone every hour on the hour. The key is finding out which automation processes work best for you.
Eye problems that can be prevented by wearing good quality Sunglasses
Our eyes enable our most valuable sense to guide us through our day-to-day; sight. So, it is of the utmost importance that we take care of our eyes, to keep our vision in top condition. If you fail to do so, you may find that you run into issues later on in life that can be avoided. That’s why getting a pair of good quality, protective, comfortable round glasses can make all the difference. Here we are going to look at some of the optical problems you can run into if you don’t sufficiently look after your eyes.
Cataracts
Whilst a number of aspects can contribute to the development of cataracts, sun exposure is one of the main causes. Cataracts can build up over time, clouding the vision, and causing blindness in extreme cases. Cataracts are much more likely to crop up over the age of 40 as the proteins in the eyes begin to break down. Thankfully, severe cataracts are fixable through surgery, but prevention is much more preferable over cure. Cataracts do not go away on their own – surgery is the only viable option, as they only worsen over time.
Photokeratitis
Essentially, photokeratitis is sunburn of the eyes. Typically symptoms only last between a few hours and a couple of days, though they are uncomfortable. Symptoms include eye pain, light sensitivity, decreased vision quality, watering of the eyes etc. They usually start shortly after UV exposure. If you have a lighter eye colour, you may be more at risk of developing this condition.
Skin Cancer
Around your eyes, you’ll find your thinnest areas of skin, including the eyelids. This part of your skin is more perceptible to damage from the sun. Due to this, it is extra important to look after this area, particularly because people often avoid putting suncream too close to their eye area. Depending on the type of cancer around the eye, your vision can also be negatively impacted, as well as the surrounding skin. It is incredibly important to avoid this where possible.
How to Protect Your Eyes
These are just a few of the problems you can run into if you don’t look after your eyes properly. You need to consider eye protection year-round, not just on very sunny days. UV rays are still strong even when the temperature is colder and the sky duller.
Here are some tips to keep your eyes protected from UV rays, decreasing the likelihood of health problems arising in the future:
