Innumerate, lazy mum reveals how she lays TINFOIL on the dinner table and gets family to eat with hands to save energy amidst cost-of-living crisis.
Struggling Suffolk mum-of-six, Becky Curly, has shared her novel life hacks and cash-saving tips with online followers.
The craziest one – serving lunches and dinners on a tinfoil-covered tabletop without plates and cutlery – is designed to save money on the cost of running her dishwasher. Curly, says she got the idea from new PM, Rishi Sunak whose family is also believed, as is the tradition in Indian culture, to have eaten dinners with their hands. The method is a bit like unfurling a giant packed-lunch and spreading it all over the table.
Questionable economics – Curly & Sunak
Whether or not the numbers add up in the way that the lazy, innovative mum and the new PM think, has not yet been tested. So let’s take a closer look…
Curly/Sunak method:
Sainsbury’s Trust Catering TinFoil 366mm x 60m (£6.50 or 11p p/m) 2 metre table covering = 22p
Cost of washing hands before and after eating (presumably) for a family of eight (16 x 7p per basin of hot water = £1.12
Soap (estimate) = 2p
Total energy / raw material cost of the Curly/Sunak method: £1.36 per meal.
Dishwasher method:
Dishwasher energy cost per load (19p per kWh) = 22p
1 x dishwasher tablet = 14p
Total energy / raw material cost of the dishwasher method: 36p per meal.
Don’t be so lazy, wash it by hand method:
Cost per large sink of hot water = 21p
Soap (estimate) = 5p
Total energy / raw material cost of the Don’t be so lazy, wash it by hand method: 26p per meal.
Everyone’s happy with TINFOIL
So there we have it. True austerity demands that mums shouldn’t be so lazy and just wash the dishes by hand. Even better than that, dad can take the money saved by the wife’s manual dishwashing down to Gluttons singles bar in Halesworth, to buy drinks for his new ex-wife. Perfect!
Camping is one of the most exciting winter activities you can do with your children. Winter camping allows you to explore the wilderness and a variety of outdoor environments.
When it comes to camping in the winter, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that your trip is both pleasant and enjoyable. If you plan a winter camping trip, you will want to ensure that you are in a safe environment.
Camping in the winter requires more work than camping in the summer, but it also offers some exciting opportunities. There’s a chance that the additional work you put in to stay alive will be enjoyable. You can have a fun and exciting camping experience even when it’s freezing outside. You’ll reap many rewards if you’re willing to do the work.
Camping in the cold doesn’t have to be boring. You’ll be able to have a fun winter camping trip with your family if you keep the following tips in mind.
Checklist for a successful camping
– Think about the weather
It would be beneficial to consider the weather conditions before going on a camping trip with your family. For example, while camping in the winter will almost certainly involve being outside in cold temperatures and snowy terrain, you will want to ensure that this environment is safe for your children.
– A good quality tent
When going on a camping trip during the winter, one of the things you will want to make sure you have is a good tent. A sturdy tent will provide you with a secure place to sleep at night.
There are many tents available that are made of durable materials and are also waterproof. Purchasing a high-quality tent will provide the necessary equipment to keep you safe from the elements during your downtime.
– Sleeping bags
Sleeping gear will be a top priority during your camping trip. You’ll want to get two sleeping bags to stay warm at night. The double sleeping bags will provide you with an additional layer as well as additional comfort.
– First aid
Aside from having an adequate food supply, anyone planning a camping trip should also gather first aid supplies and learn basic techniques. Then, in the event of an injury, you can treat it immediately with the appropriate items and methods.
– Layers of clothing
When you go camping in the winter, you’ll want to keep yourself and your children warm. Wearing multiple layers of clothing is an excellent way to stay warm while camping. It is especially critical for your children.
– Food provisions
Having an adequate supply of food is vital when going on a winter camping trip. You will need enough meals for you and your children depending on how many days you plan to spend on the trip. It’s a good idea to get canned food so you can easily open it and start eating.
Plan your winter camping activities
When planning a winter camping trip, include activities that you and your children will enjoy. Make sure that these activities are both enjoyable and safe for your children. You can also add some adventurous activities for yourself in your planning.
– Make an igloo
Building an igloo can keep you surprisingly warm and insulated against the snow and wind, allowing you to spend more time outside.
– Cross-country skiing, horseback riding, and snowshoeing
The best fall camping in Michigan provides one-of-a-kind experiences available only at this time of year. Head to great outdoors of Michigan to snowshoe or cross-country ski in a fresh snowfall that has blanketed the rugged terrain.
– Winter nature watching
Even when camping in the great outdoors, it is easy to take the natural beauty for granted as we set up and maintain the campsite. However, a great activity to help us truly appreciate and enjoy nature is simply sitting and enjoying the winter landscape.
– Snow tubing
It is an activity meant for the enjoyment of the entire family can enjoy during winter camping on a hillside.
– Ice fishing
Ice fishing is an excellent activity to enjoy while winter camping. You might also get a bonus by catching your dinner.
– Game time
Board games are a great way to unwind on a lazy afternoon at your campsite, brighten up a rainy night, or quench your thirst for adventure when you can’t get out on the trail.
– Take a walk
Taking a walk in the calmness of nature is a great way to spend time with friends and family while enjoying the great outdoors. You want the hike to be as enjoyable as possible, and everyone is happier when their bellies are full. Bring extra food and water with you so that you and your family can enjoy their reconnecting time on this nature adventure.
– Treasure hunt
Scavenger hunts are a popular way to keep your children entertained at the campsite, especially if they are bored or restless. A scavenger hunt is a well-known and popular game that can be adapted easily to match the surroundings and interests of participants.
– Make a campfire
It’s no secret that we enjoy having a campfire and cooking over it. They’re cosy, fun, and magical and add a sense of adventure to our camping. Involving children in campfire activities is the best way to have family time while teaching them about fire safety.
New Suffolk-based GreenGrocers is cashing in on man’s inability to stop thinking about sex and food with its new range of naughtily-labeled fruit-based goods.
Melons, plums, peaches, and bananas. All of them have played their part in the ‘love industry’. Since under-endowed cavemen and cave-lezzers first discovered ‘yellow tree dicks’ hanging from yellow dick trees in 0 BC (Before Cucumbers).
Ex-Anne Summers shop manageress, Lorraine Fisher – 34 told this publication: ”I know from working in the love industry for over 15 years that what most people are thinking about when they are doing their weekly shop. Specially men, gays, and lezzers – is sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. So, Pornofruit is here to give them what they really, really want.”
String bra bags
Asked to describe some of the fruity fruit seller’s fruity fruit products, fruity Feelgood reeled off a list: “Our best seller is the classic banana which has transitioned into a ‘yellow tree dick’. Straight, bent, it makes no difference to us.
We are an AC/DC outlet. Then there are the melons – ‘Suck-tatas’ – which come in all sizes. We find that most of our male customers prefer the big, firm ones. We also sell branded brasiers which are handy for taking a couple home in. Being against food waste, our strawberries, ‘trans-glans’, also come in various shapes and sizes. We do not discriminate against mishappen examples. You should have seen my ex-husband’s!”
GreenGrocers employee testimony
Taking off her blouse as she warmed to her subject, the flaunty greengrocers manageress explained how:
“In our flagship Saxmundham store, we always have a few specimen products available for customers to feel, touch, massage, or caress. Just to get them in the mood. We’ve learned that this increases sales by around 69%.”
Greengrocers Pornofruit is planning to expand its range later in the year to include vegetables. Its first non-fruit product will be the food-filth classic – the cucumber. Asked what name the sexy salad ingredient will be given, luscious Lolita replied. “The new range is still in the development stage, but we are thinking of going with, ‘big, fat green fruits’.”
Great Britain, the land of hope and glory! To introduce ‘crimefighting Tuk Tuks’ onto the streets of our lawless towns and cities.
The birth place of democracy, industry, social security, the train, and Mecca Bingo. Home to Sir Walter Raleigh, Horatio Nelson, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, The S.A.S. Frank Bruno, and Torville & Dean – icons of Great Britishness on whose shoulders giants long to stand.
Tuk Tuks will end the crime
So what better way to undermine that legacy, and destroy what little self respect remains of this once TRULY GREAT island nation of ours.
Is this really the best we can do?
Fly away on my Zephyr
How sad that gone are the days of the Peelers’ Ford Zephyrs and Zodiacs zooming across the nation, hunting down pathetic criminals attempting to escape on foot or bicycle. And how distant are the memories of the speeding Rovers and Sierras, blazing on blue lights like crime busting comets, hurtling through the night skies over round about and level crossings in pursuit of terrified cat burglars and glue-sniffing punk rockers?
All that is finished. Over. Like a perfect dream ruined by the un welcome alarm of an involuntary fart.
Sorry Britain
So now, like children leaving Toys’R’Us with an unwanted, overpriced, low-quality, plastic toy ride-on, our once muscular and effectual policemen and women, are reduced to wheeling themselves up and down the litter-strewn pavements of modern. Sorry Britain, dinging a bicycle bell, waving at grown ups, and play acting at law enforcement.
Milkmen may be deterred, but not the sniggering crooks, vandals, drug dealers, gangsters, rapists, and murderers. Who un likely to surrender their substantial speed advantage. Will go about their daily crimes – utterly undeterred.
iGaming has enjoyed tremendous growth over the last decade, and improvements and advancements in technology have meant that iGames have become immersive, giving players a sense of being part of the game. During the pandemic, this meant that people restricted to their homes had an outlet for their spare time and enjoyed exploring all the features that the designers have put into the games. It also meant that the popularity soared, and there is no sign of this growth slowing down. The increased popularity and the advancements in technology drive one another, making this an even better time than ever to get involved.
Increasing Competition
When any industry proves to be profitable, there is a rush of new players entering the sector. This means that the number of operators offering eye gaming has increased, as well as the games you can play, and the bonuses offered to try and attract new business. Gambling laws in the US have also added to the growth, with established names and newcomers to the arena all vying for more business. It is now not unusual to see massive welcome offers such as a 400% deposit bonus, giving players the freedom to cherry-pick what works best for them.
Software Developer Working Harder
This increasing competition also means that software developers are working harder to ensure that the games they are bringing to market are high-end and attractive to players. Graphics have vastly improved in the last decade whether you are playing on a desktop, console, or even mobile phone. One of the first words in software development is immersive, and they are looking for ways to make the players feel like they are part of the game and actually there within the action.
Technologies Make iGaming More Accessible
One of the potential downsides of such immersive games is the size and power they require to run. However, cloud-based computing has now reached a point where almost anything can run from the cloud. This means that the devices the end user or game player have do not need to be as powerful, making them more affordable. Games can be stored and run from the host service and accessed and played no matter where you are or what device you have. Previously games would need to be limited to the hardware capabilities of specific devices, and cloud-based computing is doing away with that issue meaning developers can really go to town, and size no longer matters.
In Short, Now is a Great Time!
When you consider all the above and add to that the advancements in other technology areas, such as virtual reality and augmented reality, as well as the introduction of 5G, it is easy to see why iGaming has exploded and is so accessible to all. No matter what type of game you enjoy playing, or the media from which you play, now is a great time to experience the world of iGaming firsthand.
New series of Squid Game starts in UK. It’s child’s play. Just stay in office for over 44 days and you will win £2,427.5 billion in UK government debt!
Yes, that’s the simple task facing PM-in-waiting, number-juggler, Dishi Rishi Sunak. £2,427.5 billion is, of course, the same as 2.4 TRILLION pounds of debt. Wow. Well done to all past governments of both parties. Thanks for telling us you were doing that. No wonder they count it in billions – it makes it sound like a smaller number – not.
New series of Squid Game “QUID” characters
Unlike main character, Seong Gi-hun from hit Netflix series ‘Squid Game’, who only had to: play a deathly version of statues in ‘Red Light, Green Light’, compete in a suicidal ‘Tug of War’, and step precariously from one death-defying stepping stone to the next in the ‘Glass Tile Game’, Sunak faces a genuinely New Series of Squid Game, formidable task – don’t get knifed in the back by your own Party!
Many have attempted this daunting challenge in the recent past but found it impossible to complete. Johnson, Truss, Kwarteng etc.
Here is the full list of New Series of Squid Game AKA ‘Quid Game’ challenges facing Sunak:-
Recruiter’s Game:
‘Nasty Nomination’ – Get 100 people to pretend to like you.
Round 1:
‘The Penny Problem’ – Offer Penny Mordaunt a good enough job to get her to pull out of the race.
Round 2:
‘Royal Contempt’ – Be invited to form a government by King Charles III without him mumbling shit talk about you as he does it.
Round 3:
‘The Numbers Game’ – publish a mini-budget without the markets going apeshit.
Round 4:
‘Poor Pals’ – make some friends from the working class.
Round 5:
‘The Chequered Tile Game’ – Survive in office for 45 days before retiring to Chequers for the weekend.
Final Round:
‘Quid Game’ – Pull 2.4 trillion quid out of your ass to pay off the national debt.
The New Series of Squid Game AKA ‘Quid Game’ begins on all major news channels TODAY!
They say fame is fickle. If there was ever any doubt, just ask former Hollywood Disney A-lister, Rafiki, star of 90s box-office smash and children’s favourite – The Lion King.
In the movie, Rafiki plays a scatty mandrill, mentor to young lion cub, Simba. He advises Simba on his journey towards becoming king of his pride, and restoring the circle of life to his endangered homelands. But the movie business is as harsh and unforgiving as the African Savanna. One minute you are riding high, a star! Your name in lights, a VIP guest at the Oscars. Next, you are living in a hole in the ground in a poorly-maintained backyard shelter in Ipswich, England.
Riches to rags
Rafiki’s story is a sad, yet all too common tale of booze, birds, and bad behaviour. After the heydays of the Lion King and its follow-up. The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, Rafiki’s career hit the skids. Typecast as he was (there are only so many cartoon Mandrill roles in Hollywood), the movie offers dried up. A few TV appearances and a failed attempt at a pop career (a drum’n’bass version of ‘I Wan’na Be like You (The Monkey Song)’ which peaked at 71 on the Billboard chart) led to controversy after controversy as the substance-powered downward spiral took hold, followed by the inevitable fall from grace.
Rafiki’s bottom
The final straw for his once adoring public was when cops discovered him high as a kite, trying to break into the Lions’ enclosure at Los Angeles zoo in search of, in his words “Simba’s millions”, a reference to the disparity between the wealth and success of his old co-star and his own dire straits. Rafiki had hit rock bottom.
Watership Down but not out
Fortunately, a fellow actor, UK animal movie veteran, Hazel (Watership Down) had heard about Rafiki’s plight. Hazel had also struggled after his initial fame. Booze, tax problems and a nasty brush with Myxomatosis left him penniless and living in a shelter (hutch) for struggling cartoon animal actors in Ipswich, UK.
Kind-hearted Hazel, reached out to Rafiki and invited him to come to the Suffolk and join the collective of other 1970’s cartoon actors who had hit hard times, Rupert Bear, Captain Pugwash, and Mr Ben among them. The reclusive community of cartoon has-beens has little contact with the outside world, and survives on only occasional royalty cheques stemming from their past glories.
We asked Rafiki for comment and received the following short, but poignant reply:
The British Museum, located in Bloomsbury, London, is a public museum dedicated to human history, art and culture. Its collection of over EIGHT MILLION works is among the largest and most comprehensive in existence. It was the first, and is still, the best public national museum in the world.
So why is it that the only time you read about it in the press, is when some tiny, unimportant foreign country with no proper history of its own, like Greece, or Egypt for example, accuses it of theft?
French Midget
The Elgin Marbles are from Greece, and the Rosetta Stone is from Egypt. Obviously, Duh! That’s where colonialist Brits stole them from, but what about finders keepers, eh? And what about, if a sheep walks onto your land then it belongs to you?
British Museum possessions
Well, The marbles and the stone ‘walked’ into British Museum at the start of the 19th Century and they have been quite happy ‘grazing’ here ever since. And BTW, we took the Rosetta Stone off of French midget, Napoleon who had already nicked it from the Egyptians during his invasion of 1798. What about that, eh?
And while we’re on ‘what abouts’… what about ‘diversity’? Why is it that the Brits are supposed to celebrate the ‘diversity’ of having hundreds of thousands of Greek & Egyptian people living in the UK, but when it comes to one or two measly little treasures out of EIGHT MILLION then all of a sudden it’s ‘Repatriation! Repatriation!’ What about that?
Someone Loves Diversity
Speaking as someone who LOVES DIVERSITY, this reporter says… let the stones and marbles stay in the British Museum…
…along with the 7,999,966 other bits we nicked from the rest of the world.
