Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Struggling John Lewis hires Spuckler brothers for cheap Christmas ad campaign

Norfolk brothers Billy Bob and Bubba Spuckler

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Under-pressure John Lewis has hired the two Spuckler brothers from Norfolk for this year’s Christmas ad campaign.

After announcing staff would not get a bonus for the first time since 1953, the retailer could not be seen to squander millions on marketing.

John Lewis lost £635 million in the first half of this year, so as part of a cost-cutting drive, it will now feature the Spucklers in a moving advert storyline that will leave TV viewers in tears.

Bubba and Billy Bob are seen toiling over a failing turnip crop outside their hovel in Downham Market. Viewers fear the spindly brothers, who live with their five sisters and their 13 children, will surely go without food on the table at Christmas.

But just as it seems all hope is lost, a kindly, portly gentleman called Bernard Matthews turns up to their hovel with a “bootiful” turkey. The whole family is then filmed in joyous scenes, tucking into a sumptuous Christmas feast.

They all then retire to bed.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, who works in the John Lewis marketing department, said: “Tricky economic conditions mean we have gone for a low budget Christmas TV ad campaign this year.

“The Spucklers agreed to be paid a sack of grain, so this year has not cost us much at all. We are sure Britain will fall in love with the Spucklers like they have our previous Christmas characters. The Spucklers could go on to be the UK equivalent of The Waltons.”

Last year, lovable John Lewis dragon Excitable Edgar won the hearts of the nation. In previous years, John Lewis featured a bouncing dog on a trampoline, a young Elton John, an old man on the moon, and a monster called Moz that lived under the bed.

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