Sunday, July 6, 2025
Home Blog Page 306

Northern mum braves snow, wears second pair of pyjamas on school run

The Editor
-
0
Northern mum braves snow, wears second pair of pyjamas on school run

Northern woman

It has been so cold in northern England this week that a mum has put on a second pair of pyjamas before taking her kids to school.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, from Darlington, shrieked: “It’s cold enough to freeze me tits off, pet,” as she dropped off adorable Zak, seven, twins Zany and Zandooorf, eight, Ziggy, nine and ten-year-old Zednut to their local primary school.

[AdSense-A]

Being a hard-as-nails northern woman, Miss Fisher is used to ignoring the Arctic weather that blights the country north of Peterborough.

But even she was taken aback by this week’s cold snap.

Yesterday, she spent an additional five seconds getting ready for the school run – so six seconds in total – by adding a second layer of pyjamas.

Other mums shivering at the school gates in their night gowns were “dead jealous” when they saw what she had done.

And they vowed to follow her lead tomorrow, should it still be a “slightly chilly” -5 degrees in driving snow.

[AdSense-B]

However, southern mother Sofia Gestinghtorpe-Charles, 27, from Framlingham in Suffolk, said Miss Fisher was a disgrace.

“The lazy cow should get dressed properly in the morning like the rest of us.

“Fancy wearing your pyjamas on the school run? What sort of message does that send to the kids?

“But fair play to her for coming up with the idea to put on an extra layer. I would never have thought of turning the heating up in the Audi.”

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

Join our witty Suffolk Gazette Facebook page community.

Is North Korea Winter Olympics team training in Walberswick?

The Editor
-
0
Is North Korea Winter Olympics team training in Walberswick?

North Korea Winter Olympics

Speculation was rife in Suffolk today that the North Korea Winter Olympics team has been enjoying a secret training camp at Walberswick.

Rumours first started spreading after Asian athletes, wearing red kit with the letters DPRK, were seen training on the Suffolk coastal village’s sand dunes.

Now this newspaper’s investigations appear to confirm that elite members of the North Korean team are being put through their paces as part of training for next month’s games in South Korea.

[AdSense-A]

It is a common technique for athletes to train on sand dunes, often hauling a tyre attached to a rope around their midriff.

This improves stamina and strength – ideal for the North Korean skiers, skaters and members of their world-famous bobsleigh team.

They were sent to Walberswick by Kim Jong-un, who has a love affair with the Suffolk coast after buying a caravan holiday home there three years ago.

Staying at a secret location – possibly in nearby Southwold – the team has been spotted running up and down the dunes, as well as swimming in the North Sea, and enjoying wrestling competitions.

Eye witness Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “I was walking the dog at Walberswick when I saw around 15 athletes training on the dunes.

“Someone said they were from North Korea, but I didn’t believe them. It seems strange that they would be training for the Winter Olympics in Suffolk.

[AdSense-B]

“But as I got close they were clearly wearing the North Korean team kit. They had a translator called Jim Miles with them, who wished me a cheery good morning.”

It is believed the team members have been enjoying traditional seaside fish and chips, even if this has played haddock with their strict diet regime.

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

Join our witty Suffolk Gazette Facebook page community.

Cars to use Orwell Bridge tunnel when crossing closed

The Editor
-
0
Cars to use Orwell Bridge tunnel when crossing closed

Orwell Bridge tunnel

A tunnel that already runs through the concrete under the Orwell Bridge carriageway is to be opened to cars when the crossing is closed.

The move will end the traffic chaos in Ipswich whenever the Orwell Bridge is shut during high winds or after an accident.

Engineers (pictured above) are now working on bringing the access tunnel, originally used during construction in 1982, up to standard, and adding a slip road to link it with the main carriageway.

Named the Orwell Tunnel, it will only be available to cars and motorbikes because it is not wide enough for lorries.

Heavy goods vehicles will instead be diverted through Ipswich as normal when the bridge is closed, or use sat navs on Amazon to find alternative routes. .

But the ability for cars to use the tunnel will ensure Ipswich does not get gridlocked, which adds hours onto even the simplest journey.

Orwell Bridge tunnel

Engineer Lorraine Fisher, 34 of construction specialists Calirrion said: “The tunnel through the bridge’s structure was a standard feature to allow construction workers access to all points when the bridge was being built.

“On a recent inspection, it was decided the tunnel could be used by cars with only a few modifications, one of those being safe access from the A14.

“We are working on completing the project by the summer of 2019.”

Councillors and business leaders are thrilled with the news, suggesting it is a further boost to the local economy so soon after it was announced the A14 is being upgraded to a motorway.

“Nobody will be stuck in Ipswich traffic jams anymore when the bridge closes,” explained an insider at Suffolk County Council. “People will love whizzing through the tunnel instead.

“It will be subject to a 30mph speed limit, but even so it will be quicker than being gridlocked in town.”

He suggested the council was trying to find a sponsor for the tunnel to help pay for the costs, with French fragrance and fashion giant Chanel already expressing an interest.

“They see the merit in having the Chanel Tunnel, and who can blame them?” an executive close to the negotiations said.

Buy gift mugs

The best places to play poker in Suffolk

The Editor
-
0
The best places to play poker in Suffolk

Is there a game more glamorous than poker? From James Bond to the Cincinnati Kid, there are endless tales of winners and losers that give the humble game a glitzy and glamorous edge. And what better setting for a high stakes game of Texas Hold ‘Em than the stunning countryside and endless farmland of East Anglia.

Poker is a great ‘sport’ (ducks to avoid pint glass) that can be played by anyone, but it takes a special mind to master it. As well the thrill of a winning hand, the audacity needed to make a huge bluff and the skill needed to keep a totally emotionless poker face (farmers should be good at this), it’s also a great way to take money off total strangers, and say things to people that would normally earn you a smack in the mouth. As well as the dainty, complex calculations and exceptional knowledge of the odds needed to outsmart your opponents, pub poker players need to be good at swearing too.

With better seaside views than Monte Carlo and a much wetter and therefore more comfortable climate than Las Vegas, players visiting the area can enjoy some of the best poker in the world thanks to a great choice of gaming options all over Suffolk. Whether it’s the weekly dog-eat-dog Ipswich PubPoker tournaments or the national Nuts Poker League with plenty of stops on their tour, players are certainly spoilt for choice. To help you find some great places for a game of cards, we’ve picked a few of the best poker options in the county so you can get stuck in and earn some extra cider money.

Ipswich PubPoker

The pub. The ideal mix of comfort, friendliness and booze. Could it get any better? Well, if you’re in Ipswich and you live near one of the pubs that regularly host midweek poker, then you’re in for an absolute treat.

With four seasons taking place throughout the year consisting of 11 league games, there’s tons of action all over Ipswich nearly every night of the week. The beauty of the PubPoker leagues is that players can visit on any venue on the list, and their wins can be carried over to their overall score, with some big money prizes for the overall season leaders.

If you’re good enough to be in the pool of top players, then it’s off to the finals event, which is all about raising money for charity and playing for the £650 tournament bonus and the top 5 spots. If you make it this far, then you’ll be playing in the qualifiers, then the high 5 event for a potential £5,000 cash prize and a £5,000 semi-pro sponsorship. That’s right, if you’re the best poker player in Ipswich, then you can net 5 grand and backing to start playing professionally! You don’t even need to be a regular player either, with a unique qualifying structure ensuring it’s never to late to make the season finals.

Playing locations include the California social club, where new members are always welcome, Lily’s Bar, The Old Times Guest House, The Farmhouse and the Thrasher. All league games are played for small £4 stakes and 100% of the stakes are paid out onto the night. You’ll need to chuck a quid in for charity, too.

If you fancy a cash game without having to enter the overall tournament, then you should check out Friday nights at the Old Times Guest House. The bets are limited to stay within the law, but there isn’t anywhere else on a Friday night in Ipswich where you can play lightening hands of quick draw Hold ‘Em and have the strict no breaks style tournament play seen at the World Series of Poker. You can almost cut the tension with a knife most weekends.

Your dining room, your house

Fancy getting the train to Great Yarmouth or Southend to visit the overpriced casinos for a night of expensive drinks and argumentative people trying to take the Michael out the dealer? We didn’t think so! So why not get your football / farming / work mates round yours for a game of poker? You can organise the perfect game of poker in your own home through following a few simple steps, what are you waiting for? There aren’t many better feelings than taking your mate’s money!

If that isn’t enough to get your poker juices flowing, then we don’t know what is. Short of a trip to the amusements at Clacton pier, these options are easily the best gambling kick you’ll get without having to leave Suffolk.

The Nuts poker league

Whilst the Ipswich PubPoker league is an absolute behemoth of a poker offering, there is another contender for biggest and most exciting game of poker in Suffolk. The Nuts poker league is Britain’s biggest, sexiest, meanest and most lucrative pub poker event ever. Played in pubs all over the country, the top 40 getting an invite to the finals at the end of the year. There’s a sweet 10k up for grabs for the winner, as well as any tournament prize money won up to that point, which will easily be in the thousands.

There are league games all over Suffolk and over the border in Norfolk, but who wants to go there eh. You’ll be up against the best of the best if you dare to venture to a league game however, so prepare for some hardcore competition. If you can brave the mean streets of Lowestoft and find yourself at the Ship Inn, then you’ll need to topple the mean machines that are Bob ‘Wood Butcher’ Janney, ‘Muggy’ Mike Linfield and Steven ‘Never Bluffs’ Burwood before you’re in with a shot at the big time.

First time players and beginners are always welcome, but remember that this is pub poker and even if you’re lovely and explain nicely that you’re a beginner (which is an absolute no no), people will still skin you alive at the first chance they get. You’re best off getting some practice in at home with your mates, the perfect starting point for newbies who want to learn the ropes without Barry ‘Murder Van’ Graham taking your chips off you after 5 minutes.

Trump uses our penguin beach story to claim global warming is a myth

The Editor
-
0
Trump uses our penguin beach story to claim global warming is a myth

Donald Trump penguins

Donald Trump has picked up on this newspaper’s exclusive story about penguins arriving on a British beach for the first time – claiming it is “proof” that global warming is a myth.

In a rant to his 47 million Twitter followers, the US President said the penguin story showed just how cold it is everywhere.

[AdSense-A]

He Tweeted: “Penguins have landed on a Suffolk, UK beach, so don’t try to tell me there is global warming”

And in a pop at green campaigners, he added: “Get real, people, it’s cold out there. Penguins don’t lie, only environ-MENTAL fake news spreaders.”

In a huge plug for this newspaper, he signed off: “Read about penguins in @SuffolkGazette. #Goodpaper #Goodguys”

We broke the story on Sunday that five penguins had turned up on Felixstowe beach.

Experts believe the Magellanic penguins hitched a ride to the Felixstowe Port on a container ship that arrived from the Falkland Islands last week.

They say the penguins appear to be perfectly at home and happy on the shingle close to Felixstowe’s Spa Pavilion.

The story has taken Britain by storm, with many people saying they hope to catch a glimpse of the rare visitors.

[AdSense-B]

Mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, took her son to see them, and said he was “really excited” because he was a big fan of Pingu.

She agreed with Mr Trump’s view when we caught up with her yesterday.

“It was freezing in Felixstowe, just right for penguins and it really proves global warming ain’t happening.”

* * * * * *

[wysija_form id=”1″]

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

Join our witty Suffolk Gazette Facebook page community.

Five penguins set up home on Felixstowe beach

The Editor
-
0
Five penguins set up home on Felixstowe beach

Penguins in Felixstowe

A group of penguins has set up home on Felixstowe beach, the first to ever settle naturally in the UK, it has emerged.

The five Magellanic penguins – all adults and apparently healthy – have been spotted over recent days on the pebbled beach close to the Spa Pavilion.

Experts say the flightless seabirds normally live in South America, and they are curious about how they came to be splashing around on the Suffolk coast.

It is likely they hitched a ride on a container ship from the Falkland Islands to Felixstowe Port, which arrived last week – and liked it so much they decided to stick around.

“From the photographs we have seen, the group seem healthy and happy enough,” said zoologist William Spence, from Cambridge University.

He added: “It’s certainly nice and cold at the moment, so they are quite at home in the conditions and are likely to be finding plenty to eat in the North Sea.

“However, although we understand the public will want to go and see them, we urge them to keep back and give them some space.

“They should also keep their dogs on a lead.”

Daytripper Lorraine Fisher, 34, who was visiting the coast from Ipswich, said: “We saw them waddling around this morning.

“They’re really cute – much nicer than the seagulls you normally come across.

“My four-year-old son has seen Pingu on television, and he was really excited.”

Mr Spence said that while he and his team were not concerned for the penguins’ welfare at the moment, they would struggle in the heat of a Suffolk summer.

“We will monitor the situation, but it may be they migrate north where they will enjoy the colder climate.”

Penguins do not normally make the news in Suffolk – although three years ago a local boy stole a penguin from a zoo and took it home in his backpack.

EDITOR’S NOTE: In an extraordinary twist, US President Donald Trump Tweeted about this story, claiming it was proof that global warming is a myth.

OPINION: Facebook’s shifting News Feed policy – enjoy your friends’ breakfast

The Editor
-
0
OPINION: Facebook’s shifting News Feed policy – enjoy your friends’ breakfast

Fake news banned on Facebook

This is a serious (for once) opinion piece from The Editor. Feel free to share (ironically, on Facebook)

Facebook has finally confirmed it is changing its algorithm so that pages you made the conscious decision to ‘Like’ and follow – media, your favourite restaurants, shops, the Suffolk Gazette – will very rarely appear in your news feed anymore. Instead you will see endless posts from your ‘friends’ about where they are going on holiday, what they had for breakfast, and how well their kids are doing at school.

This media outlet – we may be spoof and satire news, but we are still media – will suffer as a result, because so many of our loyal readers follow our fun stories on the Suffolk Gazette by looking out for them on their news feed, which they have chosen to do by liking our Facebook page.

Now they won’t see those stories, or only very rarely, and the result for us and many businesses will be a dramatic drop in visibility, engagement, readership, and therefore revenue.

In truth, we have seen this coming from a mile off. Back in April, maybe 95% of our traffic was referred by Facebook because so many people were seeing and then liking and sharing our posts. They did so because they found them funny, and their friends then got a laugh as well. It is one of the reasons we all like social media.

This month so far, only around 60% of our traffic is being referred from Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook empire – and the total numbers are down considerably.

For the Suffolk Gazette this is not a disaster. This is a fun site, a personal blog, written and produced in my spare time. It is not my job, and I do not rely on any income from it.

But for other media institutions – actually any business that uses Facebook – it is really serious.

Imagine a real online newspaper, or online magazine, losing a huge chunk of its readers from Facebook. Imagine losing 50% of revenues at a stroke, maybe more, because visitor numbers were down, and its digital advertising was not being seen.

For many, this Facebook policy shift will be financially unbearable, and they will fold.

And who will be sorry then? The readers? Probably. The staff? Absolutely. But you can add Facebook to the list as well. Why? Because Facebook’s own income relies a lot on these same businesses. How? It charges them for ‘sponsored posts’ – ironically now a way of forcing a post onto the news feed so people actually see it – and also it makes huge sums from its own Facebook advertising network, the ads you will see on any Facebook Instant Article post.

Facebook spent years teasing business to adjust how it produced – and, yes – marketed its content. The number of articles, videos, live videos and photos from these outlets increased beyond recognition as a result, as did the contents of Mark Zuckerberg’s wallet. Now it has pulled the rug from under our feet.

The Suffolk Gazette will continue to publish as normal – there are only a few costs which I soak up, and I have the help of donations from some brilliant readers and a small advertising income. I can afford to keep going, and I still have a large number of readers, but there will be many publishers who cannot.

So while you are now avoiding Fake News, one of the key drivers behind Facebook’s change in policy, you are also missing out on genuine news and many of the things you used to enjoy on Facebook.

But at least you’ll see relentless posts about how your friends are apparently having a much more exciting life than you.

Donald Trump scraps visit to Suffolk over cost of shed

The Editor
-
0
Donald Trump scraps visit to Suffolk over cost of shed

Donald Trump scraps visit

By Ivor Traktor, Farming Correspondent (intern)

United States President Donald Trump has cancelled his official visit to Suffolk – blaming the cost of a deal for a farmer’s field.

He had been due to official open a new shed next to an American airbase in Lakenheath in February.

But he Tweeted overnight that the deal for the shed, built on land purchased from a local farmer, was way too high.

“Reason I canceled my trip to Suffolk is that I am not a big fan of the Obama Administration building a new shed in an off-base location for $12,000. Bad deal. Wanted me to cut ribbon – NO!”

The American air force, which has been based at RAF Lakenheath since 1948, needed a new storage facility because conditions were cramped within the base perimeter.

They wanted somewhere to house waffles, and so the US administration negotiated with local pig farmer David Cameron, who agreed to sell a field next to the base for $12,000 – including the provision of a new shed (seen being built in the photo at the top of this story).

But despite being gleaming new, Trump was so angry with the cost that he scrapped his visit to Suffolk to open it.

However, locals insist this is just a cover story, because there were huge protests planned.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, who is a spokesperson for the Suffolk Young Farmers, said they were furious over how Trump had been running the base and criticising visitors.

“He is not welcome here, and had he come to open the shed, there would have been huge protests.

“We had already provisionally booked two mini-buses to take us to Lakenheath, and painted snarky slogans on signs, like ‘Down with this sort of thing’.”

Political observers were confused by Mr Trump’s angry Tweet.

“It wasn’t even Obama who negotiated the new shed. It was George Bush,” a Washington insider said.

There was also concern Mr Trump did not want to go running through a wheat field with Theresa May to see the new shed.

1...305306307...391Page 306 of 391

Just In

Sport

Business

Features

Contact us