A Dutch company has invented cordless jump leads that charge or jump start your car battery using only a wireless internet connection.
Technology specialist Van Halen makes the clever devices at its Suffolk factory and has already got a full order book.
With Might As Well Jump, gone are the annoying long black and red cables that got tangled up and never quite reached your car battery from an electric socket or another car’s power source.
Now you simply use the cordless grips, which connect over WiFi to an app on your mobile phone.
When you press the charge button the signal provides the power for Might As Well Jump to either charge your car battery or jump start it from scratch.
Van Halen company spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, speaking from the factory at Brandon, said: “This is a revolution in automotive care.
“The devices cost just £19.99 and will work anywhere you have a WiFi signal on your phone. They pack away neatly with no mess or tangles cables.”
She explained Van Halen had developed the specialist jump leads after being inspired by the world’s first cordless garden hose.
A woman whose husband had a vasectomy seven years ago insists a travel vaccination has made her pregnant.
Chevaunne Smith, 38, from Norwich, Norfolk is four months pregnant and insists the injection at her local surgery must have been contaminated in some way.
She and her husband, Dominic are now planning to take legal action against the NHS for the alleged blunder.
“We already have two children and did not want any more, so Dominic had the snip back in 2010,” Mrs Smith said.
“You can imagine our surprise when I discovered I was pregnant. All I can think of was the vaccination caused it – I had the injection because I went on a solo trip to Africa in the spring.”
Mrs Smith added: “But the doctors are saying this is not possible. They are not being very helpful so we are thinking about speaking to our lawyers.”
Delivery driver Mr Smith, 41, (pictured above with his wife by the Norfolk Broads) explained: “The vasectomy definitely worked because I got tested last week. So something must have been up with the wife’s vaccination
“We have been married 20 years and are both determined to get to the bottom of this.”
NHS spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, refused to comment except to say: “This is a private matter between the Smiths. We will respond privately should their solicitor ever be in touch. However, we would emphasise that you can not get pregnant from travel jabs.”
Mrs Smith said she regularly took holidays alone to “find herself” and enjoy some time to “recharge her batteries” away from hectic family life.
Ayr racecourse. Photo: William Craig (CC BY-SA 2.0)
There was an English Grand National, an Irish Grand National and a Scottish Grand National… no, seriously.
In these days of devolved powers, there’s also a Welsh Grand National and
countless more on a hyperlocal level throughout the British Isles so your area
doesn’t feel left out.
“National” races are invariably run over three-and-a-half miles or
even further, so there’s more fences for racehorses to jump and more
chance that the jockeys sitting on them wearing nothing but boots,
jodhpurs, silks and a smile will fall off.
This type of event is as a handicap – as if clearing fences made of birch
isn’t enough of a handicap already. Take the Scottish National for instance.
How can it be the Ayr Grand National is run on the same track as the Ayr Gold Cup? The first race held annually in April is a marathon over four miles, yet later in the year Gold Cup horses only have to sprint on the Flat for six furlongs in September!
It’s clear which thoroughbreds have got the cushy number. The Ayr Gold Cup
is more or less over in 60 seconds. Meanwhile, it isn’t possible to complete
the Scottish Grand National in six minutes.
Ayr hasn’t always been home to the race. It used to be run at Bogside
Racecourse, which closed in 1965 when the track fell into the nearby River
Irvine. In actual fact, they continued hosting point-to-point horse racing
there for almost another 30 years after the change of venue.
Bogside produced some of the strangest named winners of the Scottish Grand
National or horse races in general ever. The first running in 1867 went to The
Elk – now, it’s hardly fair to run a stag against horses.
That disturbing trend continued with subsequent winners called Greenland,
Huntsman, Snowstorm, Keystone, and most worryingly of all Solicitor. Militant,
Peacock, Gunboat, The Peer, Wild Meadow, Crossbow, Ireland. No, it’s not a
lost verse of Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start The Fire, but more Scottish
Grand National winners from Bogside.
Big Busbie won the race in 1901 – before going on to manage Manchester United to European Cup glory more than 50 years later. Sir Matt would probably approve of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.
Red Rum is the only Scottish Grand National winner to have a statue in a shopping centre. Photo: Budd-Warrior (CC BY 2.0)
When the Scottish National moved to Ayr, it truly became more of a trial for
the English equivalent at Aintree. Red Rum (they make whisky in Scotland, don’t
they?) won it in 1974 after successfully defending his title on Merseyside.
As it’s often run in close proximity to Aintree, the days of doubling up are
done. A cynic might say the Scottish Grand National is a consolation race for
those that can’t get in at Aintree.
There’s no telling that to Joe Farrell who prevailed at Ayr by
a nose in last year’s race from Ballyoptic. He’ll need over 30 horses to
come out of the English equivalent to line-up on Merseyside on Saturday, 6
April for the Grand National mind.
Rebecca Curtis’ Welsh stable – you’d think she’d have aimed him at Chepstow, the site of another British Grand National – pulled off the surprise. It’s decidedly nearer home than Ayr!
Ipswich Town on the road (Photo: ffion_ on Twitter)
The under-performing Ipswich Town players have got a swish new team bus to take them to away games around the country.
Manager Paul Lambert and the team, which is certain to be relegated to the third tier of English football for the first time in more than 60 years, used the bus for the first time today.
The bus, emblazoned with inspirational quotes to spur the floundering team on, was spotted arriving at West Bromwich for today’s match.
Ipswich fan Maurice Piper took this photo of the Ipswich team bus today and sent it to the Suffolk Gazette.
“It looks very smart,” he said, “and will look nice at it drives around the motorway network for away matches in League One next season.
“It certainly makes a statement.”
Ipswich Town bus expert
Team Bus expert Will Brame said the new vehicle was the latest in a string of PR measures led by boss Lambert.
“It’s one piece of good news after another,” he said.
The club has employed local woman Lorraine Fisher, 34, to be the coach driver.
Ipswich are bottom the league and showing no prospect of ever winning another football match.
Singer-songwriter George Ezra has seen his record sales plunge in Suffolk after his hit song Shotgun glorified the yellow and green of Norwich City.
Shotgun, which reached number one everywhere else in the country, has an annoying chorus beginning: “Time flies by in the yellow and green, stick around and you’ll see what I mean.”
Hideous lyrics like that is like holding a red rag to a bull for Ipswich Town fans, currently barreling towards relegation to the third tier for the first time in more than 60 years.
And to make things worse, the yellow-and-green-shirted clowns from Norfolk are top of the league.
Suffolk music aficionado Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s not a good idea for a star to sing about anything related to Norfolk.
“Ezra’s sales have now gone to near zero in Suffolk. The same thing happened to Delia Smith’s cookbooks – nobody here buys them.”
Ezra’s management is concerned about the bad feeling the song has caused in Suffolk.
A spokesman for the star said: “George is very sorry. He will change the lyrics at his next live concert to: “Time flies by in the white and blue, stick around and you’ll see what I do.”
Haydock Park was at the centre of attention for all the wrong reasons recently as a brawl broke out on the course involving 50 racegoers on their Grand National Trial Day.
It’s fair to say many of the punters involved had consumed a shandy too many and look set to have signed a banning order, which will keep them away from the course for the rest of their lives!
The Grand National Trial was won by Robinsfirth who remarkably doesn’t even
have an entry in the Grand National, something connections will definitely be
regretting after their horse outstayed all of his rivals at Haydock, including
some of the drunks who had drifted off by that point.
Ridden by his regular jockey Sean Bowen, Robinsfirth was driven out three fences from home and looked to be in big trouble. However, he stayed on well to hit the front at the last obstacle, and he didn’t look back then to finish ahead of Ramses De Teilee and Chef D’Oeuvre respectively.
It’s going to be a big few weeks for Robinsfirth’s trainer Colin Tizzard as his horse Native River is one of the most popular Gold Cup tips this year, where he will be looking to defend his crown in the race. For some reason horses have struggled to retain their title in the Gold Cup as it has not been done since Best Mate managed the feat in 2004.
When you consider the likes of Kauto Star, Denman and Long Run have all failed to do it, it will be a fantastic achievement from Native River who is more than just a mudlark, as some people like label him
Earlier in the card on Grand National Trial Day at Haydock, Jester Jet was the winner of the Mares’ Hurdle as she upset the favourite If You Say Run in a close tussle as there was nothing more than a neck between the two horses at the finish. The winner returned 4/1, therefore, those who had backed Tom Lacey’s runner were definitely toasting jockey Tom Scudamore after the race. Unfortunately, neither the first or second will feature in the Mares’ Hurdle on day one of the Cheltenham Festival next month.
Benie Des Obeaux currently tops the betting for that race as Apple’s Jade and Laurina are expected to show girl power and take on the boys in the Champion Hurdle earlier in the day, where defending champion Buveur D’Air is bidding for a hat-trick of success in the race.
One horse who will be lining up at Cheltenham after winning at Haydock is Quel Destin who is trained by Paul Nicholls. The former Champion Trainer recently had his 3000th career winner and he will be excited about his horse’s prospects in the Triumph Hurdle, where he is in the betting at 9/1.
Quel Destin went off at 4/6 in this juvenile hurdle race and he proved his class, prevailing by six lengths. The French-bred horse just looked in a league above with his rivals at the Lancashire track, to the point it looked like he knew that too and was just toying with them until the closing stages, where he then stretched away. Let’s hope the crowd behave themselves at Cheltenham next month and there is no repeat of the brawl we saw at Haydock.
MPs who failed to deliver Brexit in two and half years have managed to give themselves a 2.7% pay rise bang on time.
Their rise, well above the rest of the public sector, will no doubt compensate MPs for the many hours they have had to spend sitting around on their arses doing nothing.
The salary hike, to £79,468, was announced today by the allegedly Independent Standards Authority.
It takes effect from April 1, but sadly this is not an April Fool’s joke.
Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The people of Britain will be amazed by this news.
“Those useless tossers have sat in the House of Commons for months, years even, arguing the toss over Brexit but delivering sod all.
“But no matter. When it comes to sticking their snouts in the trough, they’re super efficient.
“Anyone else in the public sector fancy a 2.7% pay rise as well? Sorry, your’s won’t be as high.”
The news comes after yet another week of MPs talking absolute bollocks and doing sod all to deliver on a referendum result.
And for those who believe there should be a second referendum, well guess what? Yep, they can’t agree on that either!
Two Newcastle tourists collapsed in Southwold from heatstroke today, it has been revealed.
The middle-aged Northerners, more used to Arctic temperatures, were unprepared for the warm February weather on the Suffolk coast.
They were taken ill while walking along the promenade in t-shirts and shorts and collapsed on the beach close to the pier.
Suffolk Ambulance Service spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The poor people are so acclimatised to the freezing weather in Northern England that they were totally unprepared for the Suffolk winter sunshine.
“We would urge anyone who lives north of Leicester to slap on sun cream to protect themselves while visiting Southwold or any of our quaint Suffolk resorts, like Lowestoft, in this warm weather.”
Winter temperatures in the south have rocketed to record levels, reaching a spectacular 21.2 degrees in London yesterday.
Forecasters have told health authorities in the North to be aware of mass casualties should the heat spread up there.
Meanwhile, the unnamed Newcastle couple recovered at a local doctors’ surgery and were sent on their way after a soothing pint of Adnams.
