In a bewildering display of twisted logic, Suffolk County Council, has come up with a novel solution to their gaping potholes problem.
Defying both common sense and the laws of physics, the council, facing severe cutbacks. Has made the bold decision to allow potholes to flourish and multiply to such a degree. That the entire road surfaces will be stripped bare of any trace of tarmac. This, they claim, will lead to the pothole-riddled roads miraculously “repairing themselves.”
The audacious initiative, named “Project do-nothing” aims to create uniformly flattened road surfaces by embracing the sheer power of neglect and procrastination. Council spokesperson, Jeremy Paxman, confidently explained the groundbreaking approach, saying,.“We’ve realized that trying to fill potholes is a never-ending and costly endeavor. So, instead, we’re letting the potholes multiply and expand until the roads are completely smooth. It’s like a natural exfoliation process for our highways. Best of all, I should be getting a promotion and pay rise after thinking this one up!”
However, the plan has left some residents wholly unsatisfied. Janet Crudd, 62 who drives a 1997 Vauxhall Astra. Has told the GAZETTE, “I knew it wouldn’t be long before those bastards at the council invoked the law of entropy, you know… the measure of a system’s thermal energy per unit temperature that is unavailable for doing useful work – to make more cutbacks on our roads maintenance.
Those fuckers know that because work is obtained from ordered molecular motion, the amount of entropy is a measure of the molecular disorder, or randomness, of a system. Arseholes.”
As Suffolk’s roads continue to undergo their potholes-led transformation, the council remains confident that the scheme will eventually lead to beautifully smooth and self-repaired thoroughfares.
Critics, however, remain unconvinced, accusing the council of having just discovered a fancy way of saying, “When it comes to potholes, we give up.”