BURY ST EDMUNDS, SUFFOK – Parents in are scrambling for alternative half-term activities this week after a local council sign appeared to offer children a thrilling day out at a facility labelled, quite plainly, “Swim in Poo.”

Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

The newly erected brown tourist information sign — intended to guide families to the town’s swimming pool, library, and arts centre — has sparked confusion, laughter, and mild gastrointestinal anxiety across the Suffolk town. Positioned prominently near the town centre, the sign proudly lists: “Swim in Poo, Library, Arts Centre”.

While some amused locals suggest the wording is simply the result of missing letters from the phrase “Swimming Pool,” likely pried off by local youths armed with nothing but boredom and a sense of mischief, others aren’t so sure. “I mean, it’s half-term. Stranger things have happened,” said local parent Claire Mumford. “This is Suffolk. You never know when someone’s launched an immersive, heritage sewage experience.”

Floaters

A concerned father of three reportedly performed a U-turn after spotting the sign, saying, “I just wasn’t sure if it was some avant-garde performance art thing. You never know these days. The arts centre is right there.”

The council has yet to formally respond, though one insider suggested off the record that “the maintenance team’s on furlough and the letters probably ended up on someone’s TikTok.”

Meanwhile, anxious parents are weighing up their options. “We were going to take the kids swimming,” said one mum. “Now we’re thinking soft play — fewer questions about parasites.”

The sign remains in place, drawing curious onlookers and at least one disappointed tourist who had “really expected something niche and European.”

Local schoolchildren, it should be noted, have never been more proud of their handiwork.

Meanwhile: Woman finds rare white dog poo while holidaying in Suffolk