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Norfolk banned from competitive Gurning after doping scandal

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Norfolk gurner Bubba Spuckler faces ban (Photo by Jonathan Rolande, CC 2.0)

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

The worldwide anti-doping agency (WADA) has handed down a four-year ban to Norfolk, following repeat doping failures by several leading county gurners.

WADA had originally intended to take action only against specific individuals, however county officials were also implicated via interference with laboratory test results at the most recent Gurning World Championship.

The event, held at Egremont Crab Fair, was once again won by 17-times world gurning champion Tommy Mattinson, who was relieved to have won, despite the cheating by several of the Norfolk-based contestants.

He said: “It takes a lot of training and effort to pull championship-winning faces and I’m horrified that some contestants try to take the easy root to victory.”

The ban means that no athletes can compete under the county name or use the Norfolk County Arms as a visual identifier. The Norfolk county anthem or other songs associated with the county – such as the Singing Postman, will not be allowed either.

The news has disappointed Norfolk-born Queen drummer Roger Taylor, as We are the Champions is now one of the banned pieces of music. However, as has been pointed out by many, this will have no actual impact, as Norfolk have never been champions of anything.

It is believed that individual athletes who can prove they haven’t doped may be allowed to compete but under a neutral banner. Several “honest” Norfolk Gurners have already decided to compete again next year and have decided to use the identifier #notinmyface as their team name.

WADA spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Rules are rules, so Norfolk gurners will simply have to grin and bear it.”

Adnams Ghost Ship spotted on River Orwell

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Adnams ghost ship

The legendary Adnams Ghost Ship has been spotted and photographed for the first time in years, sailing under the Orwell Bridge.

The mystery ship, with 15 lost souls on board, is believed to have gone upriver to spook Ipswich but was terrified by what the town had become, so fled.

Local drinker Pete Wright, said he had been to the pub on Monday night and was staggering home when he saw the extraordinary Ghost Ship sailing past, and took this exclusive photograph.

“The ghostly crew appeared to be celebrating Roger the cabin boy’s birthday. At least that’s what they were shouting, something about Roger the cabin boy.

“Adnams Ghost Ship is a fine beer and named after the legendary ghost ships that appear around the Suffolk coast.

“It was only a matter of time before one came upriver. But instead of giving Ipswich a fright, the crew must have been scared off by ghoulish locals, which isn’t surprising.”

Local paranormal expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is the first time the Adnams Ghost Ship has been caught on camera.

“It just goes to show that sometimes great things happen after drinking six pints.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’d like to buy the Suffolk Gazette editor an Adnams beer for Christmas, please go to our Buy Us a Beer page. The Suffolk Gazette is fueled by Adnams.

How to choose a reliable bookmaker for EPL betting?

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The English Premier League is, without a doubt, the most popular football competition in the world. We might even say that the Premiership could be the most popular when it comes to all sports.

With such a reputation, it is normal that EPL attracts bettors from around the globe. According to certain studies, Premiership betting generates higher figures that any other football competition, including the international ones. Of course, the number of games plays an important role there, but either way, the top tier of English football is perfect for placing wagers.

Now, for one punter to bet on some match, he needs to determine where to do that. The process of choosing your bookmaker is maybe the most important thing after making the right picks.

With a reliable and good bookmaker at your disposal,  lots of other things will be much more comfortable, and eventually, you will increase the chances of winning some money. But what needs to be done to find a  good bookie? Which ones are most trusted bookmakers in the UK?

The process of generating the list of the best bookies is very complicated. You’ll need to dig deep and invest a lot of effort while analyzing a vast material. But luckily for you, we already did that.

First of all, you need to check the reputation of the bookie and check whether there is a license issued by the government. That should be the first step in the process. Nobody wants to be a victim of a scam, and this is your safety precaution. State institutions in charge of the betting business have their standards every reliable bookie has to meet. Otherwise, he can’t operate on the market.

Following the safety check, the technical details are on the menu. If you don’t have an account and want to open one, bonuses and promotions need to be a very important factor in your decision. A lot of bookies these days have offers, which include these two features and are linked with the Premiership. Therefore, see which one is the best and the most suitable for you.

Customer service is your connection with the bookmaker; therefore, it has to be impeccable. Many brands have excellent odds and superb promotions, but their relationship with the punters is not at the same level precisely because of poor communication. Also, every trustworthy brand offers fast, precise, and high-quality customer service, and you can easily separate good from the bad ones.

When it comes to actual betting, the thing which attracts most of the punters are the odds. Some have better odds for specific sports, and you’ll need to inform about that. In our case, particularly regarding the Premier League. See which one has the best outright offers, because we know that EPL has numerous things interesting for an outright bet. Will Liverpool win the title? Is Norwich capable of  avoiding relegation? Just think about the amount of potential bets you can take.

For the punters who prefer live-betting, mobile compatibility of the website or the application will be essential. If your brand doesn’t have either of these two, be sure that they aren’t what you need. It is a sign of their mediocrity, and that is something punters don’t like. Having a fast and organized interface in these situations is the most important thing, and there is no compromise with that.

In short, all these factors are helpful when determining which bookie is the best for betting. We’ve supplied you with a list containing a few of them, and now it is up to you to decide.

Can Norwich City win without Teemu Pukki?

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Norwich City need striker Teemu Pukki to score goals. More times than not, when Pukki has scored goals this season for the Canaries, they have picked up Premier League points. Eight of Norwich City’s 12 points this season have come when Pukki has scored at least one goal in a match.

Norwich City fans are hoping for a great escape from the relegation zone. Wolverhampton Wanderers will arrive this weekend as the Canaries seek unlikely points against the Midlands club. Fans can visit BetRivers for the latest bet bonuses before wagering on the team they believe will win the fixture.

The Finnish striker has tallied three assists as well and a further one point has been tallied when Pukki creates a goal-scoring opportunity. That is nine of 12 points that Pukki has been directly responsible for Norwich City obtaining.

With Daniel Farke’s team in 19th-place and three points above the relegation zone, the question is, can Norwich City win without Teemu Pukki?

Will Pukki play versus Wolves?

Pukki suffered a suspected fractured toe against Leicester City last weekend as he led Norwich City to a 1-1 away draw. The striker’s grit and determination showed during the fixture as he played through the pain barrier. Every touch, pass, shot, and step would have sent pain shooting up Pukki’s foot, ankle, and leg. Supporters can use the Fanpromocode during the Premier League’s busy holiday period to get bet bonuses before wagering on the matches. It was revealed this week that the toe is not broken but badly beaten up.

His presence in the side is vital to Norwich City picking up points with Wolverhampton Wanderers arriving on Saturday. Wolves are midtable and have a shot at cracking the top four. Nuno Espirito Santo’s side has played 31 matches in all competitions due to Europa League commitments. The side is fatigued and Norwich City have the opportunity to take points off of Wolverhampton Wanderers this weekend at home. Just three points separate Norwich City from 17th-placed Aston Villa. A win could see the Canaries near a great escape.

The importance of Pukki

Pukki has tallied 53% of Norwich City’s scoring this term. No player in the Premier League’s top 10 scoring chart has been as important for their team statistically as Pukki has been for Norwich City. Arsenal forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has tallied 46% of the team’s scoring which is the second-most in the top 10. However, Arsenal have other players who could step in for Aubameyang. Norwich City do not have the same luxury when it comes to a vice-Pukki in the team.

If Pukki is unable to play on Saturday, or over the holiday period due to his injured toe, Norwich City would be in grave danger. By the time the forward returned from the injury, Norwich City would possibly be too far behind the rest of the league to overcome relegation. That is a thought Norwich City fans do not want to consider at this point.

The striker’s toe may not have been broken last weekend, but damage to it could cause issues down the line. A mis-timed tackle from a Wolves defender could send Pukki to the turf grasping his foot. Norwich City supporters will watch every touch Pukki takes on Saturday with bated breath.

Woman ‘danced naked through village with carrot between buttocks’

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By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

A woman who danced naked through a Suffolk village with a carrot clenched between her buttocks was “only trying to liven things up”, a court heard today.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, had grown tired of the slow pace of village life, so decided to give locals something interesting to talk about, Ipswich Magistrates Court heard.

Fisher, a self-employed artist, stripped off and walked out of her quaint, picture-postcard cottage in Bruisyard, near Framlingham, at 1.30pm on Thursday, October 12, prosecutor Steve Walshe said.

“And if that was not enough, she clenched a six-inch carrot between her buttocks,” he added.

Fisher then began skipping along the lane and past the local pub, where members of the Framlingham Rotary club were enjoying lunch.

One diner, retired bank clerk Royston Beevis, 76, couldn’t believe his eyes when the “shapely” artist paused outside the pub’s front door and then wagged her behind, revealing the protruding orange vegetable.

Mr Walshe said Fisher than danced off up the lane and waved at a passing car before turning around and strolling casually back to her house.

Unfortunately for her, the motorist was the wife of local vicar, the Rev Evan Elpuss, who rang the police as soon as she got back to the vicarage.

Two officers from Woodbridge visited Ms Fisher and found her peeling carrots at her sink, still without any clothes on.

She was arrested and bailed to appear before court today.

Emily Lloyd, representing Fisher, told stunned magistrates that her client did not make a habit of stripping in public.

“She had enjoyed a lunchtime sherry or two and the urge came over her to do something daring,” Ms Lloyd said. “She accepts that the carrot was perhaps a step too far.

“She only wanted to liven up yet another quiet day in rural Suffolk, but would now like to apologise to the court. She promises to remain dressed in future.”

Magistrates fined Fisher £250 for outraging public decency, and ordered her to pay £75 costs.

Fisher refused to comment to the Suffolk Gazette outside of court.

Online trends in 2019

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The Internet has become a large part of our daily lives. Lots of people in the UK find uses for the convenience and possibilities that it brings. But what are the latest online trends and where do most people spend their time online? Let’s take a look at some of the most popular ways in which people used the internet in 2019.

In the past two decades, internet usage in the UK has grown at a remarkable rate. In the year 2000, just 20% of the adult population had recently used the internet. This figure has increased to more than 90% in the current year. The increase in internet usage shows just how popular the service has become and how more of our daily lives are beginning to depend on it to make things easier for us.

Online shopping, gaming and social media are just some of the examples of how people in the UK use the internet. Although the internet has always been associated with the younger generation, older age groups are also starting to get online. Internet usage amongst the 75 and above demographic has risen more than 20% in just seven years.

So, what were the biggest online trends of 2019 amongst UK internet users?

Online Shopping

Shopping online has always been popular in the UK and 2019 was no different. Clothing is currently the most popular thing to buy online in the UK. Most shoppers agree that being able to instantly compare prices and find the best deals is the main reason for preferring to shop online.

The ease of use and extra convenience that comes with online shopping is also a big plus for UK shoppers, no need to carry lots of bags as everything is delivered straight to your door!

Online Bingo

Bingo has often been a game associated with older generations. Bingo halls were always seen as a popular destination for day trips from retirement homes. These days, however, the internet is helping to lead a Bingo revolution. Clever marketing and the ease of access to fun bingo apps means that more young people than ever are starting to enjoy the game. Bingo has seen a resurgence in the total number of players, but particularly those who play at online bingo sites.

A recent poll of online bingo players found that the majority of players now make up the 25-34 age group. This growth in the number of young players is a big part of the reason for the increased popularity of online bingo sites.

There are now hundreds of bingo sites online, some of which offer exciting welcome bonuses. You can visit whichbingo.co.uk to instantly check out the best bingo sites on the web.

Social Media

Over 67% of the UK population are currently active on social media, that’s an impressive 45 million people! Facebook takes the top spot as the most popular social media network with over 30 million users in the UK.

Social media habits are closely linked with buying behaviour and a recent poll found that nearly half of 18-34-year-olds have bought a product after seeing a related post from a friend or someone they follow on social media.

Dogs insist they do not fart under the Christmas dinner table

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christmas dinner table

Britain’s dogs would like it to be known they should not be blamed for passing wind under the Christmas dinner table, it has emerged.

They are fed up with humans telling them off for smelly post-lunch flatulence.

Dog Lorraine Fisher, 34 months, from Suffolk said: “We get a bum deal at this time of the year.

“One minute we’re being all cute, staring lovingly into our human’s eyes hoping for a cheeky tidbit of turkey.

“The next everyone is choking, waving their napkins around, telling us to bugger off and blaming us for stinking the house out.

“But the truth is we haven’t eaten anything apart from a squeaky Christmas toy we were inexplicably given in the morning.

“The humans are the ones who have been gorging themselves sick on food and drink all day.

“Enough is enough. Speaking for dogs everywhere, I say, ‘Don’t fall for that crap. It wasn’t us’.”

Human Steve Walshe, 44, said he understood that dogs didn’t like getting into trouble for something they haven’t done.

But he insisted they should play along, like a good boy.

“Huge portions of crisps, meat, sprouts, dessert, beer, wine and chocolates inevitably lead to a build-up of gas in the tank.

“Sometimes you just have to let it go around the table because grandma is still in the loo and you’re too stuffed to get up anyway.

“Dogs don’t have a great deal of work to do over Christmas, so it seems only fair they should take the fart blame on the chin.”

7 Fabulous gift ideas for Christmas

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Christmas gifts

In between eating way too many Christmas dinners, getting way too drunk at the office party and sending out a ridiculous amount of Christmas cards, we all have to find some time to hit the shops and buy gifts.

While a very small proportion of us love getting our hats and scarves on and venturing out into the cold to buy gifts for distant relatives to open, the vast majority of us do everything possible to avoid it.

So, for those who would rather stay inside with a cuppa and wait for the delivery man to arrive at the doorstep, we’ve compiled a list of the very best presents money (but not too much money) can buy this year.

Glasses stand

For those who are always forgetting where they put their specs

Let’s be honest – we’re forever chasing after our parents and grandparents, looking under sofas and lifting newspapers off the coffee table to find out exactly what they did with their glasses this time. This comical glasses stand from Not On The High Street is perfect for those forgetful family members, and can be bought and personalized with your own message. It’ll fit in with the living room furniture while standing as a great reminder of where to find their specs the next time they go walkabouts. Each stand is handcrafted from solid oak in the company’s workshop in Wales and comes in a variety of great styles – including variations to fit more pairs of glasses and even jewellery.

Shop the solid oak personalized glasses stand on Not On The High Street here.

Twinkle in Time Star Map

For those who love something to hang on the wall

If you know your family and friends love personalized gifts but you don’t fancy trekking around the shops to find the perfect present, a Twinkle in Time star map should be your go-to.  These gorgeous, high-quality maps mark a special date and location in your loved one’s life and create a map showing exactly how the stars were aligned at that time. The website really does make the whole process effortless – you could even post it straight to the receiver’s door so you don’t have to play Santa this year. All you have to do is choose the special memory you want to mark and enter it into the website’s software – the rest is done for you (other than the paying part).

Buy a custom star map from Twinkle in Time here.

Nespresso Citiz

For the one who’s always late to the office

The Nespresso Citiz coffee machine is perfect for anyone who needs that little extra boost after rolling out of bed in the morning. This machine is super stylish, compact enough to fit in most kitchens, and most importantly – makes a great cup of coffee to start the day. It also works at an impressive speed which is great for those who are always late, bringing water to a boil in under 25 seconds. The Nespresso Citiz turns itself off after 9 minutes of inactivity – perfect for the forgetful ones among us who are always leaving the iron on.

Check it out on Cool Things Chicago’s list of Gifts for Her.

Experience day

For the adventurous 

For some, material possessions simply don’t cut it. They want excitement, fun, and adrenaline-filled activities. This Christmas, gift those friends and family members an experience day with Virgin. There are tonnes to choose from to suit everyone from climbers to drivers – you simply have to have a little browse to find something that fits your budget. We also love that there’s hundreds of great gift experiences for couples, so you don’t have to buy two separate presents for your loved-up friends! Genius! You might need to take a little more time on this gift than the other options on this list, but your choice is bound to be unforgettable for the receiver.

Take a look at Virgin’s Experience Days here.

Kool8 Water Bottle

For the sporty one

We all have that friend who’s always talking about their workout, what they ate for dinner, and what protein powder they’re currently really into. And let’s face it – they’re probably also very good at nagging you to drink more water. Introducing the Kool8 water bottle – perfect for those who seem to spend their lives in the gym using hundreds of plastic water bottles a year. This super stylish, eco-friendly bottle keeps water cold for 24 hours, and tea hot for 12. The company also donates 20% of its profits to help deliver clean water to those who need it the most – so you’re also doing your bit for charity this festive period. 

Buy a Kool8 water bottle from their website here.

Scratch Map

For the traveller

The original travel scratch map is simply the best gift for that friend who never seems to stay in the same country for more than a week. Let’s face it, though, they probably already have one hanging on their bedroom wall. That’s where this cute miniature comes in handy, which your traveller friends can take on all their adventures and scratch off countries as they land at each airport. We think it’s a really cute idea to mark off every country you visit on your way around the globe and definitely recommend this adorable miniature.

Shop the original travel map from Scratch Map here.

Beard baubles

For the joker

If you’re looking for a small, humorous gift for your bearded friends, then this is it. Beard baubles, while also super amusing, are a great way for your friends to get their Christmas this year. This pack of nine is really easy to put on and take off without uncomfortable snagging and comes in a range of colors. They’re sure to impress everyone at dinner, although we can’t guarantee your mate won’t have to put up with a few uncomfortable beard tugs and constant nagging that they should shave!

Shop beard baubles on Men Kind here.