The latest column from our star gardening columnist, Jeremy Corbyn MP.
Morning, comrades
These past few weeks I chitted in the spare room, the dining room and on the living room window sill. Many elderly gardeners find themselves doing it. It’s the best way to bring on our spuds.
I’m a little late with this chore as I keep getting interrupted down the allotment by something called Brexit, which is giving everyone the chits.
To chit your seed spuds, you lay them in an egg box with their eyes pointing up just like I do when some Tory twerp asks something awkward at Prime Minister’s Question Time. I like to think the eyes always have it, unless I disagree, in which case we should have another vote.
You can just lay them on a tray, but I place mine on top of the left-wing Morning Star. I wouldn’t want to blight them with any of the popular papers. Then simply leave somewhere light until they sprout into little plants, ready to pop in the ground or a container.
Which varieties? Avoid Davidus Camerona, as it is apt to bolt. And I never grow King Edwards because I can’t stand those poncey royals. If you’re a trade unionist, you may wish to grow Desiree, as they are scab resistant.
I’ve been attempting to prune back the May bush which is going through a difficult time with pests all around it like Govegrub and the virulent Boris worm. The Prime Minister needs to get rid of all the perennial weeds around her before they entirely take over.
This is the time to cut back your roses, nice and hard, as fellow allotment keeper Mrs Abbott taught me many years ago. Give the allotment a good mulching with compost, wood chips or composted straw. It just needs a good fork in.
We’ve had trouble with people nicking our hispi cabbages on the allotments but I am against putting up borders of any kind….well I might consider a picket fence.
As soon as we know the frost has gone, I will be giving you tips on getting ready for the hanging baskets, which can now be made up of tumbling tomatoes or chillis, not just pretty trailing flowers. There are certainly a few baskets I would like to hang, well, if I wasn’t such a pacifist.
I had a lovely trip to Morecambe and took the usual tourist photo with the statue of Eric Morecambe. I thought of us as Morecambe and Wise. It was a lovely way to avoid that march in London with all those remainers in their Pringle jumpers and Hotter shoes.
Anyway, I am going to get my dibber out and get stuck in.
Theresa May has demanded to know how Scotland managed to exit Europe in only 90 minutes.
The Prime Minister noted with a mixture of envy and fury that Scotland manager Alex McLeish orchestrated an orderly exit by simply losing 3-0 to mighty Kazakhstan in the European Championship qualifier yesterday.
While Mrs May has taken three years to get absolutely nowhere, Mr McLeish sorted it all out in an hour and a half.
If there was any doubt about Scotland’s ultimate shut-out from Europe, the team have to play San Marino this weekend. And if that’s not tricky enough, it’s Cyprus in June.
Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Brexiteers have looked at Alex McLeish and asked, ‘Why isn’t he in charge of Brexit?’
“It’s clear Britain wouldn’t be in this mess if he was. We would have left Europe in no time at all.”
Scotland were 2-0 down within 10 minutes in Kazakhstan, a country so rubbish at football it is ranked 117th in the world.
Quite how McLeish masterminded the result will go down in European history.
We already know that humble Ipswich is not only the greatest town in the South East but also the entire country.
While the overcrowded, overpriced, and over-polluted capital might hog all of the limelight, it is actually Suffolk that houses the most fascinating and lively metropolis of these islands. With a history stretching back thousands of years and a leading role in countless important historical events, true culture vultures would be better off avoiding the Big Smoke altogether and heading straight to our sunny shores.
Here are the three indisputable ways that Ipswich is better than London.
History
Sure, the Tower of London and St Paul’s Cathedral might look impressive, but
once you’ve elbowed your way through the crowds of gawking tourists, there
really isn’t that much to get excited about. Our history is so rich that we
don’t need to make a big song and dance about it. One of the grandest
historical buildings in town, Ancient House, currently houses a branch of Lakeland Plastics.
Our monument to the Russian Prince Alexander, who fled the Communists to
make a new home in Ipswich, is a grey, muted slab tucked away in an obscure
corner of town. The same goes for our statue of Cardinal Wolsey, the Tudor
Kingmaker who was born here. When you have as much history as Ipswich, you
don’t need to bang on about it.
Nightlife
Rather than having to face-off against brutal bouncers and merciless door
policies at the exclusive, glitzy nightclubs of the capital, you can have the
night of your life in Ipswich without the unnecessary stress. Instead of trying
your luck at Fabric you can just head to Unit 17, formerly known as a branch of
Liquid Envy. Whilst the always-rowdy Unit 17 humbly bills itself as “the only nightclub in
Ipswich”, there are plenty of other raucous options for the keen
nightcrawler.
If your idea of a good time is the night at the casino, you can be a high roller without having to dress up in a tuxedo. The town centre has not one, but two branches of the small casino chain Cashino, which one online reviewer described as “okay”, so you know they must be good. While these hotspots might not offer the glamour of the roulette table, people looking to channel their inner James Bond can always play roulette online, without having to step out onto the mean street of Ipswich.
Architecture
Last but not least is Ipswich’s stunning architectural heritage. Any true
connoisseur would agree that the skyscrapers of Canary Wharf look gauche
in comparison to the elegant
Willis Building, one of Norman Foster’s first ever commissions. Similarly,
the sprawling glass complex that houses the county council, Endeavour House,
surely puts The Shard to shame.
Stepping further back in time, architecture fans can soak up the soaring
tower of the Medieval St Mary-le-Tower church, or simply walk a little
further down to road to take in 3-5 Silent Street, the oldest house in all of
Ipswich, which dates back to 1480.
As you can see, Ipswich really does have a lot to offer both tourists and locals. Next time you’re considering getting a train down to London for the weekend, remember that anything they can do, we can do better.
Ipswich Town have had a dreadful Championship season so far as they sit rock-bottom with only 24 points from 38 games.
The club is already experimenting ahead of next season when they will play in League One. Having said that, they have been in fine form and go into next weekend’s clash against Hull City unbeaten in the last three and with only one defeat in their last five Championship games.
We asked the experts at bestbettingsites.online what we should expect from the upcoming match.
“Despite all the problems that Ipswich Town have had this season, in recent games, there has been a clear improvement in the squad,” said John Pentin, editor in chief of the football betting section of bestbettingsites.online.
Mr Pentin has worked in the past with top betting operators like Ladbrokes and William Hill, and in recent years has been one of the most successful football tipsters in the UK.
In addition to being a passionate punter, he also likes playing online casinos. For this reason, he has been involved leading the casino review team on a popular online casino comparison site called Casino Biggest Bonus.
“Sometimes playing without pressure can make a big difference with players who are keen to show their worth in what is remaining of the season,” he said.
The main issue for Ipswich Town has been at the back as they have conceded 62 goals and they are really struggling to keep clean sheets.
“In this last part of the season, we expect to see more youngsters launched in the first team. It will give them the opportunity to show they are ready for the next campaign. Having players that are motivated, it is critical to increasing the chances that Ipswich Town will end the season with their heads up despite all the problems.”
For all those reasons Mr Pentin believes there is value in backing Ipswich Town to defeat Hull City when club football is back next weekend after the Euro 2020 qualifiers.
Ipswich are currently at 3/1 to beat Hull with several top bookmakers.
“Surely it will not be an easy game as Hull City have better quality in the field but if you consider the improvements showed by Ipswich in the last game and also that Hull City have very little to play for (they are sitting in mid-table), a home win could be on the cards.”
Norfolk’s new space agency has attempted its first launch into orbit from Cromer beach.
The Norfolk Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA for short) made the attempted manned flight at first light this morning.
Local woman Edna Spuckler was the willing volunteer to be sent to space on the manure-fuelled rocket, dubbed Turnip One. She was strapped to the rocket with bale string and wore a heat resistant bikini.
Sadly the launch countdown was halted at ’10’ because high winds meant chief scientist Bubba Spuckler couldn’t light his match.
Observer Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It was all a bit of an anti-climax, to be honest.
“No-one really believed Norfolk could join the space race and today’s feeble effort seems to confirm it.”
NASA spokesman Mark Brownless said it would be trying the launch again on Sunday. If the winds on Cromer beach continue, they would consider shifting the launch pad inland to Downham Market.
Admit it or not, when it comes to the world of sports betting, horse racing is on top of the list. The horse racing industry has brought the sports betting world to a whole new level of legal gambling. It had attracted hundreds and thousands of horse racing fans across the country and all major horse racing events have been attended by millions of fans.
Not only that, as the
horse racing industry continues to dominate the world of sports betting, it’s
growth had massively evolved. There are different versions of parties held
before and after the main event, pre-eminent shows being celebrated all over
the race track, and most above traditional drinks have been developed as part
of the event’s party culture.
On the other hand, as
we look at the bigger picture of what as horse racing look like, let’s go back
to basic and whose really competing in the said race. These are the
thoroughbred horses. Every horse racer is not only joining because they wanted
to. They undergo rigid and full training for longer days even years just to
make sure they earn that whole stability and endurance. As you go along and
wait for the biggest horse racing event in the country to take place this year,
let’s take a look at to some qualities of what a really makes an excellent
racehorse. We lay to you the basics.
The Soundness
In order for a
trainer to make it to the finish line and end up a winner, they should make
sure that their racehorse has an excellent soundness quality. The soundness of
the horse does not only refer to his ability to grasp what are the instructions
that his trainer and jockey command, but it talks about the overall horse
aesthetics.
In the course of training a racehorse to come up with a good soundness quality, each trainer follows a guideline to avoid any hitches. Each racehorse should undergo weighing which should reach up to a metric ton that would allow them to complete the 40 mph speed in the race track. Besides, when they reach the said weight and speed, the overall aesthetics of the racehorse should have physically skeletal thin legs.
When a racehorse reaches a good sounding quality, he is more likely to win in any horse racing tournament. As we speak with a horse racing tournament, TVG Preakness Stakes 2019 is about to start in 3 months and a lot of horse racing fans are looking forward to this grand event. Along with this achievement, his trainer should make sure that he maintains this quality up until the tournament begins. The racehorse should also be physically fit and properly groomed. Truly, when a racehorse has a good soundness quality his ability to beat his opponents even in a longer horse racing show will be a piece of cake.
Balanced Appetite
Good quality of
racehorse follows a balanced diet and appetite. As they go along with their
rigid training, it is inevitable that they would more likely to eat well. As a
trainer, you have to make sure that your racehorse maintains a good weight all
throughout his training and until the race day begins.
This will also make
sure that the racehorse won’t go overweight or underweight because it will
affect his performance. Like humans, a
racehorse that has no balanced diet should more likely give out a poor
performance in his racing show.
The Constitution
An excellent
racehorse should have a good constitution. Constitution refers to both the
physical and mental ability of every racehorse. A good racehorse does show
signs of being tired. If you are a trainer and maintains a good constitution
for your racehorse, you’ll see that he is good at training, eats well, saddle
enthusiastically, and most of all get a good rest.
At the same time, a
racehorse is in a good constitution when his internals is also in good
conditions. That means that he maintains a good heartbeat, his limbs are
intact, strong pair of lungs, and his heart is vital enough and ready for a
long race course.
The Desire
The most important
ingredient you have to make sure that your racehorse has is the desire. Bear In
mind that you may all have the talent bestowed upon you. Your race horse may
also have the best qualities and foreseen to be a real winner. But, on the
other hand, if your racehorse doesn’t have any desire to compete and win, then
everything won’t make sense at all.
If you are a trainer, you should also be patient enough and you should display a good desire to train your racehorse in achieving all the best qualities they need to compete in the race track. You should take charge of carefully the training guidelines you set for a racehorse and at the same time manage them rightfully so they may also grasp that attitude and make it to the finish line.
A Dutch company has invented cordless jump leads that charge or jump start your car battery using only a wireless internet connection.
Technology specialist Van Halen makes the clever devices at its Suffolk factory and has already got a full order book.
With Might As Well Jump, gone are the annoying long black and red cables that got tangled up and never quite reached your car battery from an electric socket or another car’s power source.
Now you simply use the cordless grips, which connect over WiFi to an app on your mobile phone.
When you press the charge button the signal provides the power for Might As Well Jump to either charge your car battery or jump start it from scratch.
Van Halen company spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, speaking from the factory at Brandon, said: “This is a revolution in automotive care.
“The devices cost just £19.99 and will work anywhere you have a WiFi signal on your phone. They pack away neatly with no mess or tangles cables.”
She explained Van Halen had developed the specialist jump leads after being inspired by the world’s first cordless garden hose.
A woman whose husband had a vasectomy seven years ago insists a travel vaccination has made her pregnant.
Chevaunne Smith, 38, from Norwich, Norfolk is four months pregnant and insists the injection at her local surgery must have been contaminated in some way.
She and her husband, Dominic are now planning to take legal action against the NHS for the alleged blunder.
“We already have two children and did not want any more, so Dominic had the snip back in 2010,” Mrs Smith said.
“You can imagine our surprise when I discovered I was pregnant. All I can think of was the vaccination caused it – I had the injection because I went on a solo trip to Africa in the spring.”
Mrs Smith added: “But the doctors are saying this is not possible. They are not being very helpful so we are thinking about speaking to our lawyers.”
Delivery driver Mr Smith, 41, (pictured above with his wife by the Norfolk Broads) explained: “The vasectomy definitely worked because I got tested last week. So something must have been up with the wife’s vaccination
“We have been married 20 years and are both determined to get to the bottom of this.”
NHS spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, refused to comment except to say: “This is a private matter between the Smiths. We will respond privately should their solicitor ever be in touch. However, we would emphasise that you can not get pregnant from travel jabs.”
Mrs Smith said she regularly took holidays alone to “find herself” and enjoy some time to “recharge her batteries” away from hectic family life.
