Google search has a bad impression of Suffolk’s major towns, calling most of them “a dump”, we can reveal.
Typing in a Suffolk town name followed by the word ‘is’ in the Google search bar generates an autocomplete list of suggestions for you to click.
And they are mostly unflattering or unintentionally funny, with only Haverhill appearing to be any good, with Google suggesting “Haverhill is happening”.
Which is ridiculous in itself.
Here is the new Google map of Suffolk. Please note only larger towns work – typing in smaller ones does not generate a “[town name] is” autocomplete suggestion.
Not great: Google’s suggestions for Suffolk towns do not paint a good impression
Here is the list of towns and descriptions we discovered on Google, where the autocomplete suggestions are based on search term input from other Google users…
Ipswich is a dump
Felixstowe is a dump
Felixstowe is in which country
Woodbridge is ghetto
Lowestoft is a dump
Lowesoft is bridge still closed
Bury St Edmunds is it a city
Bury St Edmunds where is it
Sudbury is small
Lakenheath is bombing your
Haverhill is happening
Halesworth is on the map
Mildenhall Istanbul Kebab
Orford is shithouse
Happily, typing in ‘Norwich is’ results in ‘Norwich is inbred’.
And on that bombshell, Google has redeemed itself in the eyes of the Suffolk Gazette.
With a population of approaching 800,000, the CBD Oil market place in the county of Suffolk is incredibly busy, and it is growing fast.
CBD oil really took off throughout the county around the end of 2017 as its legality was finalised by the UK government. This allowed for the sale of CBD products that had a maximum of 0.2% of THC in them. Since that point the market has spiralled upwards in terms of value and growth and looks unstoppable going through the 2020’s. Currently the market is worth around £300 million a year to the UK, with conservative estimates saying that by 2025 we will see it worth well over £1 billion a year in terms of sales value.
As popularity in the products has increased, with many using them for anxiety and stress disorders, ( even helping those withdrawing from drug dependency), pain relief and also for recovery after intense exercise, we have seen better and better quality products hit the market. Due mainly to a demand from those buying for better products that actually contain what they claim to. We have also seen Trade associations like Cannapro-UK, grow into being places consumers can go to hold rogue trading outfits accountable and make sure that those selling products do so ethically and within the law.
How big is the CBD market in Suffolk?
Currently, in 2020 and despite the Corona Virus, (that has only enhanced online sales of CBD Oils, Capsules and Vape products), the market is worth around £11million a year for the whole county. The value in a big town like Bury St Edmunds is a very healthy £900,000. These figures will likely increase by a factor of five by 2025. You are really looking at a major industry that not only creates many hundreds of jobs for the Suffolk population, but also generates high levels of taxation that can benefit our communities.
You can buy CBD products from companies online, or buy from market stalls or vape shops. It couldn’t be easier to get hold of high quality products, just remember to make sure you buy from suppliers who are members of a Trade association. Also make sure that you read carefully what product you are buying, what oil is it? Is it Full Spectrum or Broad Spectrum, Raw or Pure, filtered oil?
What products are popular to buy?
CBD tinctures, (oils you take with a pipette sublingually, under the tongue), still remain the most popular product purchased, usually around 1000mg in 10ml bottles. Tinctures are estimated to account for about 40% of the marketplace, not just in Suffolk, but also the UK.
Quickly chasing though are vape E Liquids, as vaping itself continues to grow in popularity. It is estimated around 35%, roughly, of the Suffolk CBD market could well be now Vape orientated.
A slow climber up the popularity charts would be capsules, like these, that are popular due to their ease of being taken and slow digestive qualities. Around 20% of the market is estimated to use CBD capsules.
The above figures are hard to be exact as most people will take combinations of products and also count capsules as edibles, which could also incorporate products like gummies and other confectionery that is made with CBD Oil. They do offer a decent estimate as to how the market around Suffolk is split between the main products sold to consumers.
What does the future hold?
As we have already addressed above, the market is growing five fold with the space of the next 5 years. That is astounding growth. That is also just based on retail and doesn’t include the extra money that could be generated if farming the Hemp plants as well was also widespread and industrialised. This is something that would likely be of interest to many farms that reside in the Suffolk area.
You will also see more of the “shady” sellers minimised online and in the shopping centers as regulations start to get tough and those mis selling CBD products are actually removed quickly from the marketplace. There is even talk of possibly having to be licenced to sell CBD Oil, we will see if anything materialises with that.
Importantly we are seeing the emergence of a popular, booming industry that will help create jobs and with fair and sensible regulation, a safe industry that will help Suffolk grow and prosper.
Over the years, there have been several examples of successful clubs failing to build on their success, after standing still from a player and staff recruitment standpoint. Crucially, Liverpool don’t want to fall into that trap. So, could a blossoming relationship between Hopp and Klopp see the Reds move to change the structure of their backroom staff?
A potential backroom reshuffle for the Reds?
Back in April 2018, Jurgen Klopp’s long-term assistant manager, Zeljko Buvac, left Liverpool Football Club for personal reasons. Despite Pep Lijnders being promoted to the role following the Serbian’s departure, the six-time European champions may look to further alter their backroom staff in the not-so-distant future, with Max Hopp thought to be keen on once linking up with his fellow German, but this time on Merseyside.
In December 2019, Klopp and Lijnders went head-to-head in a highly-anticipated darting contest, that saw two of Liverpool’s key coaching figures add a new dimension to their competitive relationship, which typically revolves around table tennis.
However, on this occasion, the two were partnered up with a couple of the best players from the modern era of darts in Max Hopp and Raymond van Barneveld. Even though the contest ended in a draw, it was evident throughout that team Germany worked in a cohesive manner that had a clear structure of order, with the 23-year-old referring to the Liverpool manager as the “coach”.
Furthermore, with the Champions League-winning coach declaring his admiration for darts, many believe that there could be scope for the two Germans to develop their working relationship further in seeking to bring more trophies to Liverpool.
The need for change
Moreover, career alterations may be advantageous to all of the parties involved in this potential reshuffle. At the time of writing, Lijnders is widely considered to be one of the leading candidates to replace Klopp as the Liverpool manager when the 52-year-old decides to walk away from the Reds. If Hopp were to take up a role in a coaching capacity at Melwood, it would allow the 37-year-old Dutchman to further his managerial pedigree, given that, in his only position as a first-team manager to date, he was sacked after just one season with NEC Nijmegen.
For Hopp, however, such a position with the reigning champions of Europe would, in theory, enable him to balance his darting commitments with football coaching.
As of the 30th April, the Wiesbaden-born player has yet to win any major trophies during his darting career. That said, he is, at present, among the favorites with darts betting to win the PDC Home Tour. Additionally, having failed to get beyond the last 32 at the PDC World Championships in seven attempts, it may be time for Hopp to shift his sporting focuses to the world of football.
If he were to make the move to Liverpool, the German would be, in one sense, going in the opposite direction to Rafael van der Vaart, who recently competed in the BDO Denmark Open following his retirement from football.
A shared desire for long-term success
Ultimately, the prospect of Hopp taking up a coaching capacity is not beyond the realms of possibility, given his strong relationship with Klopp. The 23-year-old is, by his own admission, an honest talker, which means that he wouldn’t have any issues in setting Liverpool’s title-chasing team clear on various elements of his desired coaching style.
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Action from today’s Premier League match between Man City and Norwich
By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
Premier League football has finally returned, with champions Manchester City beating Norwich City in a behind-closed-doors fixture.
With players forced to wear new COVID-19 protective strips, the City side outclassed the Canaries, winning 4-0.
Normal home advantage did not count, with crowds forced to stay away for social distancing reasons.
But City got used to the protective suits much faster, romping to a 2-0 lead inside 20 minutes, with Sergio Aguero and Raheem Sterling on the scoresheet.
Another goal by Kevin de Bruyne just before half-time made it 3-0 at the break. Aguero added his second and City’s fourth in the last minute as the Manchester club took their foot off the gas in the second half.
The game was the first to be played since coronavirus lockdown restrictions put all sport on hold. Many fans had predicted the outcome having used GameDayr.com to find a fantasy team betting site like Draft Kings.
Premier League secretary Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It was a thrill to see professional matches return.
“Despite players having to wear full-body protective suits, and the crowd being banned, some things didn’t change – like Norwich getting spanked as usual.”
Defeat leaves Norwich rooted to the bottom of the Premier League.
They play at Carrow Road next week, against West Ham. The stadium will again be empty, but Norwich are used to playing in silence at home.
This story was inspired by the Have I Got News for You Facebook page.
Buy a mug and cheer up
Buy a mug for yourself or gift one to a loved one. Here are the latest potty pottery offerings from the Suffolk Gazette…
A hapless elderly man spent seven hours stuck up a tree before being rescued by firemen.
The sprightly 83-year-old became wedged between two branches after clambering 25 feet up a pine tree in Ipswich while trying to retrieve a kite.
But because he was suffering from a cold, nobody in Christchurch Park heard his cries for help – and he was only spotted by a passing dog walker looking at squirrels.
She called the fire brigade, who sent an engine with a turntable ladder to the park to rescue the man, who has asked not to be named.
Safe again: rescued pensioner uses fireman’s phone to call his wife
The pensioner told firemen he had been enjoying his daily constitutional walk around the park when he spotted the kite stuck up a tree.
“The kite had clearly been abandoned,” one of the fire crew told the Suffolk Gazette, “and he decided to get it down and give it to his great-grandson as a present.
“Unfortunately he discovered that while getting up was quite easy, even for a man of his age, getting down again was another thing entirely.
“He said he was there for seven hours before a lady with a dog spotted him at 4pm. He had begun to wonder if he would be there all night.”
The man, who lives near the park, was shaken but otherwise unhurt after his ordeal and borrowed one of the firemen’s mobile phones to call his relieved wife to tell her he was okay.
And he promised everyone he would not go tree climbing again.
The residents of Norfolk were astonished by President Trump’s COVID-19 Dettol or bleach solution – because they had never heard of disinfectant before.
Mr Trump’s revelations have opened a whole new world of cleanliness and personal hygiene for Norfolk residents.
Traditionally, folk’s from the rural East Anglian backwater take just one community shower each year, at a Norfolk Day festival.
But now they have found out there is something called disinfectant, their hygiene options have taken a massive step forward.
Director of East Anglian Public Health Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The President’s comments about injecting disinfectant were ridiculous.
“But the positive is that people in Norfolk have now heard of disinfectant.
“We will be busy educating them about the benefits of Dettol and bleach.
“This will go a long way to bringing their hovels up to modern day cleanliness expectations.”
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President Trump has reassured Americans that injecting themselves with a disinfectant is a perfectly safe way to combat COVID-19.
Indeed, he confirmed he had been drinking neat Dettol for the past 40 years – and it hadn’t apparently done him any harm.
The President told an astonished press conference yesterday that perhaps injecting disinfectant was a great way to “clean the lungs” and rid the body of the coronavirus.
He told perplexed aids afterwards: “I’ve been drinking three bottles of Dettol a day for years. Believe me. It’s why I look so great. Really great.
“Bleach, I drink that too. Got white teeth, best white teeth in the world. People are saying, ‘How does Donald get such brilliant white teeth’. They tell me I look great.
“It’s now up to the Governors to start detergent injection programs. They asked for them, I provided them. More than any other country. The biggest Dettol injection program in history. No-one’s ever done it before, believe me.”
Doctors were quick to urge dumb Trump supporters not to start injecting themselves with anything, let alone disinfectant.
Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained: “Donald Trump is living proof that doing so will make your hair go weird, your skin go orange and turn you into a gibbering moron.”
Don’t inject Dettol, it’s a mug’s game
Brits know better than inject bleach. They are no mugs. Instead, you quietly go about your business and buy funny mugs. Like these, for example…
Not great: Google’s suggestions for Suffolk towns do not paint a good impression
