Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Street litter ‘good for the environment’ says County Council

Street litter ‘good for the environment’ says County Council

LOWESTOFT, SUFFOLK – East Suffolk District County Council has devised a groundbreaking solution to tackle the ever-expanding pothole problem.

In a move that can only be described as ‘trash-tastic,’ the county council has decided.to fill potholes with household rubbish left at the local recycling center.

Residents were initially baffled when they saw council workers gleefully shoveling. discarded pizza boxes, broken toasters, and empty shampoo bottles into the crevices of their beloved roads.

How County Council explained?

However, county council spokesperson Lorraine Fisher – 34, explains, “We’ve run out of asphalt,.and we needed to think outside the bin. Recycling is all about reusing materials, and what better way to recycle than turning your old rubbish into roadworthy terrain?”

The innovative approach has garnered mixed reactions. Some citizens applaud the council’s commitment to sustainable pothole filling, while others are left wondering if the county council is cutting corners by using their streets as landfills.

One resident quipped, “I always thought my recycling was going to lead to a better, cleaner environment, but it looks like it’s found a new home in my own backyard!”

Dildo found in hole

Local motorists are experiencing a bumpy ride like never before. Commuters report their cars rumbling over lumps of discarded electronics, old sofas, and even a few discarded sex toys that have found their way into the recycling bins. “I hit an old dildo and some furry handcuffs the other day” complained one disgruntled driver. “When I got out to take a closer look I realized they were my wife’s!”

Typical eco-warrior

Environmentalists, on the other hand, see the initiative as a step in the right direction. “It’s a win-win,” said green-haired eco-do-gooder Emma Turner. “We’re reducing landfill waste and creating bumpy, obstacle-laden roads, thus discouraging excessive speeding. Who needs speed bumps when you have debris-filled potholes?”

In response to the criticism, East Suffolk District County Council released a statement, insisting that the initiative was in line with their commitment to reduce waste and minimize carbon emissions.

The statement also flagged new plans to discontinue rubbish collections in the county altogether and have bin men just empty household trash directly onto the roads.

Take a look out of your window and you may find that this initiative has already begun.

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