Friday, March 1, 2024

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Turkish immigrant St George kicked out of Britain

St George expelled

Celebrated Turkish immigrant St George has been kicked out of England because he had no paperwork to prove he should stay.

The devastated saint, who ekes out a living slaying dragons, has been living in a castle in Suffolk for hundreds of years.

But immigration officials have chucked him out because he had no papers to prove his residency was above board.

St George was born in Turkey, and even worse had a Palestinian mother – raising further doubts about his claims to live rightfully in Britain.

And this newspaper can also reveal that the patron saint of England slayed his first dragon in what is now modern-day Libya, not East Anglia.

However, his supporters were fuming at news he has been chucked out of the country after being refused the right to dragon-killing work.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, fumed: “He is our patron saint. The Irish drink to St Patrick, so why can’t we celebrate St George?

“To be chucked out of our country is a disgrace and that Theresa May should be sacked.”

When it was pointed out that St George was actually half Turkish and half Palestinian, Fisher fumed some more.

“That is fake news,” she wailed.

“He is out patron saint and we are gonna support him – that is not being racist, it is celebrating our national identity. But Turkey, you say?”

A spokesman for the Home Office confirmed St George was one of many immigrants to be chucked out of Britain, despite having been invited here many years ago.

In post-war Britain there was a great need for good dragon slayers, and brave St George fitted the bill.

But border agencies controversially destroyed the paperwork that proved men and women like him had entered Britain quite legally.

“It’s a bit embarrassing. But St George is not British and has no passport, so he had to go back to Turkey,” the spokesman said.

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