Friday, June 7, 2024

‘Illegal’ Xmas skinny-dippers get the five-star treatment

‘Illegal’ Xmas skinny-dippers get the five-star treatment

DOVER, KENT – The annual Dover, Kent Christmas Day swim took an unexpected turn. When 300 local thrill-seeking skinny dippers found themselves inadvertently embroiled in a bureaucratic balls-up.

Mistaken for economic migrants often found on the beach after having made the perilous journey across the Channel. The festive swimmers were detained and processed as asylum seekers.

Shrivelled nutcracker

At the crack of dawn on Christmas Day, as most Brits were nestled in their beds with visions of presents and pigs in blankets. A legion of intrepid souls of skinny dippers gathered at the Dover shore. Ready to brave the frigid English Channel in a spirited homage to Santa and the season’s merriment.

However, in a display of bureaucratic buffoonery reminiscent of the Keystone Cops. The UK Border Force, batons at the ready, steamed into the jolly Christian crowd.

Clad in Santa hats, holiday-themed swimwear and armed with yuletide cheer. The bemused swimmers found themselves unceremoniously dragged off to a nearby processing centre.

Despite their remonstrations at having their annual ice-cold swim ruined. The semi-clad bathers were mistakenly processed as asylum seekers. Their complaints falling on the deaf ears of the disastrous UK officials. As the calamity progressed, the real economic migrants landed a further 200 yards up the beach and scarpered in several directions.

Five stars appeared in the distance

Despite the annual subzero skinny dip having been ruined. The inconvenience experienced by the beachgoing bathers, there was an unexpected happy ending to the festive farrago.

Skinny dippers from al over the world

As is usually the case with small boat arrivals to the UK. The 300 shivering Brits eventually spent Xmas day in local five-star hotels. Enjoying the mod-cons and luxuries usually reserved for those from Afghanistan, Iran, Syria, Eritrea and Sudan.

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