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Is North Korea Winter Olympics team training in Walberswick?

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Is North Korea Winter Olympics team training in Walberswick?

North Korea Winter Olympics

Speculation was rife in Suffolk today that the North Korea Winter Olympics team has been enjoying a secret training camp at Walberswick.

Rumours first started spreading after Asian athletes, wearing red kit with the letters DPRK, were seen training on the Suffolk coastal village’s sand dunes.

Now this newspaper’s investigations appear to confirm that elite members of the North Korean team are being put through their paces as part of training for next month’s games in South Korea.

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It is a common technique for athletes to train on sand dunes, often hauling a tyre attached to a rope around their midriff.

This improves stamina and strength – ideal for the North Korean skiers, skaters and members of their world-famous bobsleigh team.

They were sent to Walberswick by Kim Jong-un, who has a love affair with the Suffolk coast after buying a caravan holiday home there three years ago.

Staying at a secret location – possibly in nearby Southwold – the team has been spotted running up and down the dunes, as well as swimming in the North Sea, and enjoying wrestling competitions.

Eye witness Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “I was walking the dog at Walberswick when I saw around 15 athletes training on the dunes.

“Someone said they were from North Korea, but I didn’t believe them. It seems strange that they would be training for the Winter Olympics in Suffolk.

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“But as I got close they were clearly wearing the North Korean team kit. They had a translator called Jim Miles with them, who wished me a cheery good morning.”

It is believed the team members have been enjoying traditional seaside fish and chips, even if this has played haddock with their strict diet regime.

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Cars to use Orwell Bridge tunnel when crossing closed

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Cars to use Orwell Bridge tunnel when crossing closed

Orwell Bridge tunnel

A tunnel that already runs through the concrete under the Orwell Bridge carriageway is to be opened to cars when the crossing is closed.

The move will end the traffic chaos in Ipswich whenever the Orwell Bridge is shut during high winds or after an accident.

Engineers (pictured above) are now working on bringing the access tunnel, originally used during construction in 1982, up to standard, and adding a slip road to link it with the main carriageway.

Named the Orwell Tunnel, it will only be available to cars and motorbikes because it is not wide enough for lorries.

Heavy goods vehicles will instead be diverted through Ipswich as normal when the bridge is closed, or use sat navs on Amazon to find alternative routes. .

But the ability for cars to use the tunnel will ensure Ipswich does not get gridlocked, which adds hours onto even the simplest journey.

Orwell Bridge tunnel

Engineer Lorraine Fisher, 34 of construction specialists Calirrion said: “The tunnel through the bridge’s structure was a standard feature to allow construction workers access to all points when the bridge was being built.

“On a recent inspection, it was decided the tunnel could be used by cars with only a few modifications, one of those being safe access from the A14.

“We are working on completing the project by the summer of 2019.”

Councillors and business leaders are thrilled with the news, suggesting it is a further boost to the local economy so soon after it was announced the A14 is being upgraded to a motorway.

“Nobody will be stuck in Ipswich traffic jams anymore when the bridge closes,” explained an insider at Suffolk County Council. “People will love whizzing through the tunnel instead.

“It will be subject to a 30mph speed limit, but even so it will be quicker than being gridlocked in town.”

He suggested the council was trying to find a sponsor for the tunnel to help pay for the costs, with French fragrance and fashion giant Chanel already expressing an interest.

“They see the merit in having the Chanel Tunnel, and who can blame them?” an executive close to the negotiations said.

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Trump uses our penguin beach story to claim global warming is a myth

The Editor
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Trump uses our penguin beach story to claim global warming is a myth

Donald Trump penguins

Donald Trump has picked up on this newspaper’s exclusive story about penguins arriving on a British beach for the first time – claiming it is “proof” that global warming is a myth.

In a rant to his 47 million Twitter followers, the US President said the penguin story showed just how cold it is everywhere.

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He Tweeted: “Penguins have landed on a Suffolk, UK beach, so don’t try to tell me there is global warming”

And in a pop at green campaigners, he added: “Get real, people, it’s cold out there. Penguins don’t lie, only environ-MENTAL fake news spreaders.”

In a huge plug for this newspaper, he signed off: “Read about penguins in @SuffolkGazette. #Goodpaper #Goodguys”

We broke the story on Sunday that five penguins had turned up on Felixstowe beach.

Experts believe the Magellanic penguins hitched a ride to the Felixstowe Port on a container ship that arrived from the Falkland Islands last week.

They say the penguins appear to be perfectly at home and happy on the shingle close to Felixstowe’s Spa Pavilion.

The story has taken Britain by storm, with many people saying they hope to catch a glimpse of the rare visitors.

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Mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, took her son to see them, and said he was “really excited” because he was a big fan of Pingu.

She agreed with Mr Trump’s view when we caught up with her yesterday.

“It was freezing in Felixstowe, just right for penguins and it really proves global warming ain’t happening.”

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Five penguins set up home on Felixstowe beach

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Five penguins set up home on Felixstowe beach

Penguins in Felixstowe

A group of penguins has set up home on Felixstowe beach, the first to ever settle naturally in the UK, it has emerged.

The five Magellanic penguins – all adults and apparently healthy – have been spotted over recent days on the pebbled beach close to the Spa Pavilion.

Experts say the flightless seabirds normally live in South America, and they are curious about how they came to be splashing around on the Suffolk coast.

It is likely they hitched a ride on a container ship from the Falkland Islands to Felixstowe Port, which arrived last week – and liked it so much they decided to stick around.

“From the photographs we have seen, the group seem healthy and happy enough,” said zoologist William Spence, from Cambridge University.

He added: “It’s certainly nice and cold at the moment, so they are quite at home in the conditions and are likely to be finding plenty to eat in the North Sea.

“However, although we understand the public will want to go and see them, we urge them to keep back and give them some space.

“They should also keep their dogs on a lead.”

Daytripper Lorraine Fisher, 34, who was visiting the coast from Ipswich, said: “We saw them waddling around this morning.

“They’re really cute – much nicer than the seagulls you normally come across.

“My four-year-old son has seen Pingu on television, and he was really excited.”

Mr Spence said that while he and his team were not concerned for the penguins’ welfare at the moment, they would struggle in the heat of a Suffolk summer.

“We will monitor the situation, but it may be they migrate north where they will enjoy the colder climate.”

Penguins do not normally make the news in Suffolk – although three years ago a local boy stole a penguin from a zoo and took it home in his backpack.

EDITOR’S NOTE: In an extraordinary twist, US President Donald Trump Tweeted about this story, claiming it was proof that global warming is a myth.

OPINION: Facebook’s shifting News Feed policy – enjoy your friends’ breakfast

The Editor
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OPINION: Facebook’s shifting News Feed policy – enjoy your friends’ breakfast

Fake news banned on Facebook

This is a serious (for once) opinion piece from The Editor. Feel free to share (ironically, on Facebook)

Facebook has finally confirmed it is changing its algorithm so that pages you made the conscious decision to ‘Like’ and follow – media, your favourite restaurants, shops, the Suffolk Gazette – will very rarely appear in your news feed anymore. Instead you will see endless posts from your ‘friends’ about where they are going on holiday, what they had for breakfast, and how well their kids are doing at school.

This media outlet – we may be spoof and satire news, but we are still media – will suffer as a result, because so many of our loyal readers follow our fun stories on the Suffolk Gazette by looking out for them on their news feed, which they have chosen to do by liking our Facebook page.

Now they won’t see those stories, or only very rarely, and the result for us and many businesses will be a dramatic drop in visibility, engagement, readership, and therefore revenue.

In truth, we have seen this coming from a mile off. Back in April, maybe 95% of our traffic was referred by Facebook because so many people were seeing and then liking and sharing our posts. They did so because they found them funny, and their friends then got a laugh as well. It is one of the reasons we all like social media.

This month so far, only around 60% of our traffic is being referred from Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook empire – and the total numbers are down considerably.

For the Suffolk Gazette this is not a disaster. This is a fun site, a personal blog, written and produced in my spare time. It is not my job, and I do not rely on any income from it.

But for other media institutions – actually any business that uses Facebook – it is really serious.

Imagine a real online newspaper, or online magazine, losing a huge chunk of its readers from Facebook. Imagine losing 50% of revenues at a stroke, maybe more, because visitor numbers were down, and its digital advertising was not being seen.

For many, this Facebook policy shift will be financially unbearable, and they will fold.

And who will be sorry then? The readers? Probably. The staff? Absolutely. But you can add Facebook to the list as well. Why? Because Facebook’s own income relies a lot on these same businesses. How? It charges them for ‘sponsored posts’ – ironically now a way of forcing a post onto the news feed so people actually see it – and also it makes huge sums from its own Facebook advertising network, the ads you will see on any Facebook Instant Article post.

Facebook spent years teasing business to adjust how it produced – and, yes – marketed its content. The number of articles, videos, live videos and photos from these outlets increased beyond recognition as a result, as did the contents of Mark Zuckerberg’s wallet. Now it has pulled the rug from under our feet.

The Suffolk Gazette will continue to publish as normal – there are only a few costs which I soak up, and I have the help of donations from some brilliant readers and a small advertising income. I can afford to keep going, and I still have a large number of readers, but there will be many publishers who cannot.

So while you are now avoiding Fake News, one of the key drivers behind Facebook’s change in policy, you are also missing out on genuine news and many of the things you used to enjoy on Facebook.

But at least you’ll see relentless posts about how your friends are apparently having a much more exciting life than you.

Donald Trump scraps visit to Suffolk over cost of shed

The Editor
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Donald Trump scraps visit to Suffolk over cost of shed

Donald Trump scraps visit

By Ivor Traktor, Farming Correspondent (intern)

United States President Donald Trump has cancelled his official visit to Suffolk – blaming the cost of a deal for a farmer’s field.

He had been due to official open a new shed next to an American airbase in Lakenheath in February.

But he Tweeted overnight that the deal for the shed, built on land purchased from a local farmer, was way too high.

“Reason I canceled my trip to Suffolk is that I am not a big fan of the Obama Administration building a new shed in an off-base location for $12,000. Bad deal. Wanted me to cut ribbon – NO!”

The American air force, which has been based at RAF Lakenheath since 1948, needed a new storage facility because conditions were cramped within the base perimeter.

They wanted somewhere to house waffles, and so the US administration negotiated with local pig farmer David Cameron, who agreed to sell a field next to the base for $12,000 – including the provision of a new shed (seen being built in the photo at the top of this story).

But despite being gleaming new, Trump was so angry with the cost that he scrapped his visit to Suffolk to open it.

However, locals insist this is just a cover story, because there were huge protests planned.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, who is a spokesperson for the Suffolk Young Farmers, said they were furious over how Trump had been running the base and criticising visitors.

“He is not welcome here, and had he come to open the shed, there would have been huge protests.

“We had already provisionally booked two mini-buses to take us to Lakenheath, and painted snarky slogans on signs, like ‘Down with this sort of thing’.”

Political observers were confused by Mr Trump’s angry Tweet.

“It wasn’t even Obama who negotiated the new shed. It was George Bush,” a Washington insider said.

There was also concern Mr Trump did not want to go running through a wheat field with Theresa May to see the new shed.

New sponsor sees Portman Road become The Greyhound Stadium

The Editor
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New sponsor sees Portman Road become The Greyhound Stadium

The Greyhound Stadium

Popular Ipswich pub The Greyhound is bidding for the naming rights to the Ipswich Town stadium, it has emerged.

If successful, the deal will see Portman Road being renamed as The Greyhound Stadium.

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The news comes on the day that the club unveiled Magical Vegas as its new shirt sponsor, and confirmed they were considering a sponsor for the stadium name.

As regular readers will be aware, The Greyhound is the corporate HQ of the Suffolk Gazette, and it is believed the deal being considered by Town includes naming rights of the ground’s toilet facilities as ‘The Suffolk Gazette’s Crap’.

Ipswich Town bosses were tight-lipped about the naming rights negotiations, but an executive close to the deal said fans would welcome the move.

“The Greyhound Stadium is perfect because the team have been going to the dogs for years.

“It is likely that Crazee and Bluey, the popular Suffolk Punch horse mascots, will be replaced by a giant bunny who will sprint along a track around the pitch in The Greyhound Stadium.”

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Supporters were keen on the idea of the new name. Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “If it means season ticket holders can get a free pint of Adnams in the Greyhound in Henley Road, then brilliant.”

But we can reveal the Greyhound is not the only corporate giant looking at giving their name to Portman Road, and the latest betting sites in the UK are compiling odds as we write.

Others brands in the frame include Horlicks, Andrex and Anne Summers.

“That makes sense, as the Ipswich Town squad is either asleep, shit or getting f*cked every week,” one fan suggested.

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Greater Anglia’s Suffolk Gazette sales ban ‘absurd’, says Boris Johnson

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Greater Anglia’s Suffolk Gazette sales ban ‘absurd’, says Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson Suffolk Gazette

By Casey Jones, Railways Correspondent

Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has jumped to the defence of the Suffolk Gazette after it was banned by Greater Anglia from its trains.

The newspaper is no longer for sale on trains between East Anglia and London because it is “not compatible” with Greater Anglia’s brand.

But in a damning Tweet, Mr Johnson described the decision as “absurd” and “censorious”, adding the hashtag #NotFakeNews.

Passengers who have enjoyed reading the Suffolk Gazette for hundreds of years were astonished when Greater Anglia removed it from sale.

Commuter Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s pure censorship because the Suffolk Gazette holds the train company to account.

“Only last week it reported how Greater Anglia’s record ticket price hike arrived on time, but the trains didn’t.

“It’s that sort of incisive journalism that we should cherish in a democracy.

“But Greater Anglia do not like it up ’em, and have banned the newspaper from being sold at the stations and in the buffet cars.

“They have even blocked the paper’s website from the train WiFi.”

The Foreign Secretary is a keen reader of this newspaper. He has close links with Suffolk, where he has business interests in six fish and chip shops.

His Tweet overnight will add further pressure on Greater Anglia bosses to reverse their newspaper ban.

An insider at Greater Anglia said: “Nobody reads the Suffolk Gazette anyway, so who cares?

“This won’t suit all of our customers or all of our people – it’s certain to draw some criticism. But we’ve listened to many colleagues over the last few months, and we feel that this is the right move to take.”

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