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Fury as Kim Jong-un retweets British right-wing extremist

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Fury as Kim Jong-un retweets British right-wing extremist

Kin Jong un twitter

There was widespread shock and condemnation today after North Korean leader Kim Jong-un retweeted a video from a dangerous British right-wing group.

He was duped into showing his support for a well-known extremist who was spouting disgusting filth about the Scots.

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The North Korean despot used his traditional early-morning session on Twitter to showcase the dangerous video from Theresa May, a right-winger whose views have sickened Britain for years.

There are now calls for Mr Jong-un’s state visit to Britain, where he was due to meet the Queen after holidaying on the Suffolk coast, to be called off.

Ordinary North Koreans have been quick to insist they are embarrassed by their leader’s support for the brutal Conservative Party.

Farmer Choi Hoo Sun, 42, who works just outside the capital Pyonyang, said Mr Jong-un had gone too far this time.

“He is supposed to be the leader of the Free World, but here he is openly supporting dangerous right-wing British extremists.

“It’s quite cool that he uses Twitter, but he really needs to think before he Tweets.”

Mr Jong-un retweeted a video in which Ms May, who is being watched closely by British secret services, appeared on camera to wish the Scottish people a happy St Andrew’s Day.

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Political experts say the contents of the video can not be verified, and it is highly likely that Ms May does not care about Scotland whatsoever.

In other words, Mr Jong-un has unwittingly found himself promoting a propaganda video.

His spokesman Shin Seung Jin was left to face the North Korean media and defend his boss.

“The video itself may not be genuine, but the point it is making certainly is. That’s the real issue and Mr Jong-un is tackling it.”

Scottish people were furious that Mr Jong-un has now given credibility to Ms May and her rabid right-wing rhetoric.

“The wee rocket man needs his head testing – with a Glasgow kiss,” said Hamish McTaggart, 24, from Glasgow.

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Muslim Santa causes outrage in John Lewis

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Muslim Santa causes outrage in John Lewis

Muslim Santa

Right wing and Christian groups are furious after it emerged this Muslim Father Christmas is being sold in John Lewis.

Just days after being annoyed by a Muslim family appearing in the Tesco Christmas television advert, they are now raging about the £12 Santa.

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Hundreds have taken to social media to complain that Christmas is a Christian festival that has nothing to do with Muslims.

Housewife Lorraine Fisher, 34, from Suffolk fumed on Twitter: “Muslims do not even celebrate Christmas, so why should we have a chocolate Muslim Santa shoved down our throats?

“I want to bring up my kids the traditional way, but this is just politically correct nonsense gone totally mad.”

And well-known conservative Christian the Rev Evan Elpuss, from Lowestoft, said the Santa was an insult.

He told his 30,000 Instagram followers: “The Islamification of Britain knows no boundaries. Christmas is a Christian festival celebrating the birth of local man, Lord Jesus Christ.

“Muslims do not believe in Christmas whatsoever.

“Imagine if we forced Muslim countries to sell white chocolate Santas during their Ramadan? There would be outrage.”

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Right-wing groups are now calling on US President Donald Trump, who retweeted three anti-Islam videos from Britain First’s Jayda Fransen, to condemn the Muslim Santa.

A senior source at John Lewis said staff were bemused by the outrage.

“It’s just a Father Christmas made of chocolate,” he said. “And it tastes delicious.”

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Driverless car was drunk, police say

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Driverless car was drunk, police say

Driverless car

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

A driverless car has been caught three times over the drink-drive limit, it has emerged.

Suffolk Police pulled over the car, which was behaving erratically along a country lane near Long Melford.

Officers ordered the car to switch off its engine, and a breath-test revealed it had more than 90mgs of alcohol in its petrol tank.

The legal limit is 35.

With no driver on board, it was impossible for police to prosecute, because they would look silly ordering a car to appear before magistrates.

Instead, the owners of the driverless vehicle, which was on a secret road test, have been asked to ensure their cars do not consume alcohol in future.

They claim the car had driven itself to the pub without being told.

A police source said: “PC Alan Tasker was on patrol near Long Melford when he spotted a car driving in an erratic manner, which led them to believe the driver must have been drinking.

“He stopped the car, and to his surprise there was no driver because it was a new-fangled driverless car.

“This has never happened before, so PC Tasker thought he had better test the car for booze anyway – and the result was positive.”

The driverless car is owned by local vehicle manufacturers LookNoHands Motors, from Kersey.

Managing Director Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We are close to launching our new range of driverless cars.

“They are at the final stages of testing and have performed perfectly until now.

“This was an unfortunate event. We encourage all our cars to avoid drink altogether. Certainly, being three times over the limit is out of order.

“It appears this car had driven itself to the pub earlier in the day.”

She said the car in question was towed back to the workshop and had since been retired to the scrap yard in disgrace.

Norwich players banned for high-six celebration

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Norwich players banned for high-six celebration

Six fingers

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Two Norwich City players have been banned by the FA following a controversial high-six goal celebration.

James Maddison and Wes Hoolahan will both now be forced to sit out for three games.

They made the high-six – patting their six-fingered hands together – after Maddison scored in Saturday’s disappointing home draw with Preston.

The high six, banned by the FA six years ago for being utterly offensive, was caught on camera and caused a storm of outrage on Twitter.

FA spokesman Jim Milroy said: “We have reviewed the available video evidence.

“It is quite clear that the two Norwich player did a high-six, a clear contravention of the rules.”

Only the Norfolk club is even capable of a high-six, although rumours are emerging of attempts to do so at Peterborough United, Exeter City and Lincoln.

An insider at Carrow Road said: “We have spoken to the whole squad and warned them about offensive behaviour.

“They are highly paid individuals even if they do have six fingers on each hand.

“They are supposed to set an example because do not want everyone in Norfolk going around high-sixing.”

But Norwich City fan Bubba Spuckler, who lives in Downham Market with his sister and their eight children, was not impressed.

“It’s normal for Norfolk,” he said.

“Next they’ll be telling us not to have such close family relationships.”

Saturday’s game was also newsworthy after Norwich super fan David ‘Spud’ Thornhill was asked to become the fourth official for the final ten minutes after the linesman got injured.

Norfolk floodgate ‘not fit for purpose’

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Norfolk floodgate ‘not fit for purpose’

floodgate

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Concern is growing that Norfolk’s flood defences may not be up to the required standard, it has emerged.

Residents are particularly worried by this floodgate at Horsey, which does not appear to meet the minimum requirement to hold back water.

The official Environment Agency floodgate seems to have several holes in it, through which rising flood waters could penetrate easily.

There is also concern that water could simply go through the fences on either side of the gate – or even underneath it.

Now locals are demanding more investment to prevent the whole of Norfolk from being washed away.

Local housewife Lorraine Fisher, 34, fumed: “We live in constant peril from the North Sea on one side, and the Norfolk Broads on the other.

“We need millions, if not billions of pounds spent on flood defences, but look at what we have ended up with.”

The floodgate has a warning sign on it that reads: “Warning: Flood defence structure. Please keep clear.”

But Ms Fisher said it could not stop any water whatsoever.

“I think the Environment Agency has confused a floodgate for a gate. Or perhaps this is symptomatic of the budget cuts hitting public services?”

The Environment Agency insists the gate can hold back millions of gallons of water if needs be, and that there have not been any budget cuts.

Agency insider Chris Allen said: “The gate works perfectly well – there has certainly not been any flooding in Horsey since we installed it.

“We just hope that nobody accidentally leaves it open, otherwise we’re in real trouble.”

Village shop owner dead at till for six years

The Editor
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Village shop owner dead at till for six years

Little Brimmer shop keeper

A village shop keeper sat dead at his till for six years before anyone noticed, it has emerged.

Terence Todd was still upright with a magazine open in from of him, while his trusty wireless was still broadcasting BBC Radio Suffolk.

Mr Todd, 72, was discovered by Sean Francis, who was visiting Little Brimmer, near Bury St Edmunds on business. He said the only pulse he could find was a 250g bag of red lentils in the food section.

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Examinations of the body showed that Mr Todd had been dead for over six years, apparently having suffered from terminal loneliness.

Local villagers claimed they were very upset by the news – despite having not bothered to support Little Brimmer General Stores in a decade, preferring instead to shop at nearby out-of-town supermarkets.

A shocked Mr Francis, 33, told the Suffolk Gazette how he found the body on Friday afternoon.

He said: “I noticed instantly that something was wrong and called for help as soon as I got there,” although CCTV footage actually showed he failed to realise the cashier was dead for eight minutes, browsing the shop and even attempting to engage Mr Todd in conversation.

“I rang for an ambulance. Looking back, I’m not sure why. They weren’t really able to do anything for him.”

A weekend stock-take showed that the general store’s goods had not been replaced for six years. Newspapers on the shop shelves were datelined 1st November, 2011.

“I did wonder why all the headlines were about David Cameron,” said Francis, a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. “And there was a funny smell, but sometimes you get funny smells in little village shops.

“I thought maybe some of the food was stale – instead it was poor Mr Todd who had passed his expiry date.”

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Mr Todd’s death has led to an outpouring of grief from fellow villagers, despite the fact that none of them crossed his shop’s threshold for the better part of a decade.

“Our village needs its local shop,” said Martha Langham, 42. “It’s the centre of the community, a vital institution.”

When asked when she had last visited the shop, Langham said she couldn’t remember, “Although I recall we had a conversation about John Major.”

“I once bought some vegetarian sausages from the shop in 1998,” said fellow resident Leanne Cresswell, 42. “They were quite good. A little overpriced, perhaps. Oh, it’s so sad that he’s gone.”

Mr Todd’s funeral will take place next week, and Sean Francis, from Newmarket, has promised to attend. “I may as well,” he sighed. “After all, it would be terrible if nobody turned up.”

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Police hunt missing working class folk as new butcher shops open

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Police hunt missing working class folk as new butcher shops open

Peasants for sale

By Rob Banks, Crime Editor

Police are investigating the mystery disappearance of dozens of working class people around Lowestoft in Suffolk.

Officers have been inundated with calls about loved ones who have failed to return home after a night out at the pub or bingo.

They say there may be a link into the missing 74 people, all of whom lived in or around Lowestoft, and all of whom were said to be on the bread line.

Police say the disappearances coincided with the opening of two new butchers’ shops in the town, which have been advertising some strange meats.

One has a sign outside saying ‘Fresh local peasants, £4.49 each’, adding ‘naturally reared meats, taste the difference’.

Another one has a display informing shoppers ‘Fresh, local oven ready peasants’

Neighbours say there has been some strange coming and goings late at night, with deliveries arriving in rolled-up carpets for some reason.

A Suffolk police spokesman said: “There is no obvious link at this time, but we find it curious that two local butchers have started selling peasant meat just as lots of poor people go missing.

“We are sending round some detectives to investigate if the owners are telling porkie pies.”

Mr Sweeney Todd, who runs one of the outlets under police watch, said: “Our peasants are of the finest quality.

“All have been plucked and can be de-boned on request.

“And because they are peasants, there isn’t an ounce of fat on them.”

In other news, shop owners in the area are being asked to get some spelling lessons.

Gran finds another painting of Jesus ‘worth $450 million’

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Gran finds another painting of Jesus ‘worth $450 million’

New painting of Jesus

Suffolk grandmother Beryl Lynch claims she has uncovered another painting of Jesus worth $450 million, it has emerged.

Mrs Lynch made the incredible discovery days after a Leonardo da Vinci portrait of Christ sold for the jaw-dropping figure at auction.

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“I was looking in a skip in Halesworth yesterday when I saw the picture of Jesus poking out from under an old lawn mower.

“Only hours earlier I had read about the da Vinci selling for $450 million, and then this image came to me.

“I’m not religious at all, but this was a miracle.”

Mrs Lynch, 77, said her painting, portraying a bearded, long-haired Christ in a fetching blue tunic with red sash, was surely worth just as much as the one sold at Christies in New York this week.

“Finding my picture was a sign from above,” Mrs Lynch, a retired post office worker said.

“The painting is unsigned and was not framed, but you can tell from the quality of the work that it is a priceless masterpiece.

“I reckon it dates back well over 2,000 years.”

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She has not yet taken her portrait to an art expert, and insists they “do not really know what they are talking about anyway”.

Instead, she is thinking of taking it to TW Gaze auctioneers in Diss, Norfolk to put in their next sale.

“I’m not greedy or anything, but I can’t help looking at new houses and cars. And I could really do with a nice holiday.”

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