Wednesday, November 5, 2025
Home Blog Page 318

Nothing funny about Prince William sending his child to Willcocks Nursery

The Editor
-
0
Nothing funny about Prince William sending his child to Willcocks Nursery

Willcocks

By Jane Seymour, Royal Editor

Britain has agreed there is nothing remotely funny about Prince William sending his daughter to Willcocks nursery school.

Only those with a childish or dirty sense of humour would see anything amusing about the name at all.

[AdSense-A]

A spokesman for Britain said: “It is a delight that Princess Charlotte is beginning her education at Willcocks.

“Anyone chuckling over the name of the nursery in Kensington, London, is just being childish, quite frankly.

“We’re surprised that anyone would mention the name – even though it’s the first thing that came into everyone’s mind.”

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge insisted Willcocks was their top choice of nursery, followed by Kateboobies in Chelsea.

Princess Charlotte will begin at Willcocks, close to her Kensington Palace home, in January.

Nursery school owner Mr William Cock said: “We are looking forward to her arrival.”

[AdSense-B]

Charlotte’s elder brother Prince George, four, started at Thomas’s school Battersea, run by Mr John Thomas, an £18,000-a-year prep school earlier this year.

Last week the Suffolk Gazette revealed how he got the hump when he was not allowed to play a King in the school nativity play.

The announcement about Willcocks came on the same day that William and Kate released a new family portrait, with young George and Charlotte standing in front of their parents.

The nursery charges up to £9,150 a year for children who attend morning sessions.

Described by parents as “kind and gentle”, the school is run by female staff only, and its stated ethos is “for high standards, excellence and good manners”.

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

ADVERT: Click for latest The House in Town offers

Welcome to the world of Mick McCarthy

The Editor
-
0
Welcome to the world of Mick McCarthy

It’s been one of the most hotly-contested topics among Ipswich Town fans – are you a Mick McCarthy ‘inner’ or ‘outer’.

But whether you love the gritty Yorkshireman, or hate his style of football, you’ll enjoy this video summary of Portman Road under his stewardship.

Hat’s off to Benjamin Bloom who put the video on YouTube – it’s much better than anything than we could have done.

And it’s also much better than the original The Eagles version of Hotel California!

[AdSense-A]

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

ADVERT: Click for latest The House in Town offers

Seaplane commuter service launches from Suffolk

The Editor
-
0
Seaplane commuter service launches from Suffolk

Seaplane Ipswich

By Casey Jones, Railways Correspondent

A fed-up businesswoman is launching a new seaplane commuter service to take passengers from Suffolk and Essex into the heart of London, it has emerged.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, claims her Water Anglia airline will be cheaper and faster than the Greater Anglia trains she became so tired of using.

[AdSense-A]

She has already kitted out one 60-seater seaplane and based it at the River Orwell in Ipswich following successful sea trials off Felixstowe.

Water Anglia’s daily 7.30am service will take off from the Orwell after it has passed under the Orwell Bridge.

It will then head out to the North Sea, turn right at Harwich and fly down the Stour in order to pick up passengers from Manningtree – but only if the tide is in.

And from there it is a non-stop flight to the Thames Estuary before landing close to HMS Belfast near Tower Bridge.

Tickets for the service, which lasts only around 45 minutes, will cost just £60 return – around £26 cheaper than the corresponding train journey from Ipswich with Greater Anglia.

“I got fed-up with the unreliable train service offered by Greater Anglia,” said Mrs Fisher, from Woodbridge in Suffolk, who made her money in London’s financial markets.

“The trains are old and smelly, often breaking down, and the cost is way too high.

“I have a pilot’s licence and was daydreaming on the train home one day when the service had come to a halt because of a train fault.

“And I thought, ‘I can do better’. That’s how Water Anglia first formed in my mind two years ago.”

Since then Mrs Fisher has leased her first plane, hired local pilot Roy Everett and is now on the lookout for two air hostesses.

She has also sorted out all necessary permissions from British Waterways, the Ministry of Transport and Air Traffic Control.

“The first commercial flight will be early next year,” she explained. “We will sell tickets on the day or from our website, and it is likely we will introduce season tickets for regular London commuters.”

[AdSense-B]

Water Anglia leaves Ipswich at 7.30am Monday to Friday, landing near Tower Bridge at 8.15am – perfect for City workers.

The return flight back to Ipswich, via Manningtree, leaves at 6pm, landing back in Suffolk at 6.45pm in time for a few drinks and dinner – or even to see Ipswich Town if the team is playing at home.

Mrs Fisher, who is chief executive officer of Water Anglia, says if the service proves to be a success, it could be expanded to other destinations.

“Firstly we will look to use the single plane we already have for tourist trips at weekends – or Ipswich fans might want to hire it to take them to away matches along the East Coast to places like Hull, Sunderland, or Middlesborough.

“Then we might also expand the fleet and offer a service across the sea to Holland or Belgium.”

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

ADVERT: Click for latest The House in Town offers

Revealed: Ed Sheeran’s secret Ipswich song list

The Editor
-
0
Revealed: Ed Sheeran’s secret Ipswich song list

Ed Sheeran Ipswich

The secret songs that Suffolk superstar Ed Sheeran has written about Ipswich can be revealed today for the first time.

We were shown the compositions just days after the singer revealed he had written them and could make a biopic of his life.

Ed, who was raised in nearby Framlingham, played some of his first live gigs in Ipswich pubs when he was an unknown.

Now he has written about the town, and the songs show the rest of the world just what it is missing.

The song list includes:

Pound Shops On Every Corner

Roadworks and Traffic Jams

Drug-Fuelled Crime Rock ‘n Roll

Bored Kids and Disrespect

Teenage Mums And Benefits

The Road To Nowhere (remake of the 1980s Talking Heads hit)

16 Years In The Championship

Beggars Belief (Got Any Spare Change?)

Ed told the Times recently that he had this collection of songs about Ipswich, and that as he was in early discussions about a biopic of his local upbringing.

Now he had the material for a soundtrack.

Residents say the song titles appear to have captured the nature of the town perfectly.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We all think Ipswich is a sh*thole and it seems Ed Sheeran agrees.

“Me and my mates can’t wait for him to publish these songs – it could be the best thing to happen to Ipswich for years.”

A pal of Ed’s confirmed: “He has been writing songs about Ipswich for a long time.

“He lived in luxury in the posh market town of Framlingham 15 miles away – and life in Ipswich is so different in every way.

“It fascinated Ed when he was younger and provided this creative spark.”

Fans are now eagerly awaiting news of a possible biopic, which Sheeran said would be a like “8 Mile meets Notting Hill”.

Kids furious as mums redecorate the Christmas tree

The Editor
-
0
Kids furious as mums redecorate the Christmas tree

Christmas tree decoration

Children across Britain are fuming after their mothers allowed them to decorate the Christmas tree – only to redo it once they had gone to bed.

Every year kids say they fall for the con trick that it is they who get to decorate the tree.

[AdSense-A]

They’re told it’s a key part of preparing for the excitement of Christmas, after all.

But each year their mothers then take everything off the tree again and redecorate it how they like it.

Mum Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “When my kids decorate the tree it looks ridiculous.

“Baubles are placed randomly together on one side, the lights are all around the back, and those little hanging elves and reindeer are spaced around in a terrible fashion.

“One year they put so much tinsel all over the place that you couldn’t actually see the tree.

“So once the little buggers have gone to sleep I take it all down and do it just how I like it – perfectly, so that I can then share it on Facebook.

“The kids have no idea I have completely wasted their time, and assume the beautiful tree is all their own work.”

However, daughter Pippa Fisher, seven, speaking to the Suffolk Gazette from the family home in Westerfield, near Ipswich, was furious.

“Of course we know she has redecorated the tree. Who does she think she is kidding?

“What is the bloody point of getting us excited about putting up the Christmas tree decorations, then watch with a forced smile as we take pride in our work?

“We all know that as soon as we have been put to bed the stupid woman undoes all our hard work because she is still a child herself and has to have everything her own way.”

[AdSense-B]

Steve Walsh, a spokesman for the Family Behaviour Studies Institute in Suffolk, said: “It is a well-known fact that mothers let their children decorate the tree. Then take it all down again and do it themselves.

“There are ingrained psychological reasons for this – primarily because when they were young themselves, their own mothers did exactly the same thing.”

Click here to support the Suffolk Gazette Beer Fund!
[olimometer id=1]

ADVERT: Click for latest The House in Town offers

Prince George fumes over not playing a king in his nativity

The Editor
-
0
Prince George fumes over not playing a king in his nativity

Prince George school

By Jane Seymour, Royal Editor

Prince George threw a mini tantrum when he was not picked to play a wise king in his school nativity.

The strong-willed toddler stunned teachers when he fumed: “One day I really will be king and all of you will be locked in the Tower of London.”

But staff at the Thomas’s School in Battersea, London stuck to their guns, and the young prince, who is third in line to the throne, was forced to play a sheep instead.

Proud parents the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, were delighted with the performance.

Prince George school

A school insider said: “We have to make sure all of our children get the chance to shine in the nativity play, no matter who they are.

“Prince George will have plenty of time to practise being a real king, so there was no pressure on us.”

In the nativity, three wise kings turn up bearing gifts for baby Jesus.

Yet despite his royal blood, young George was forced to dress up in a cuddly sheep outfit.

Other children at the school were said to be delighted that they were able to be king, just for one day.

One parent said: “George is a great character and probably was not very angry about being a sheep.

“He has a real sense of humour and played his part perfectly.

“It’s good to see that the school treats him just like another other pupil.”

Dodgy sunbed burnt my willy

The Editor
-
0
Dodgy sunbed burnt my willy

sunbed burnt

A man claims a faulty sunbed caused excruciating burns to his penis, it has emerged.

Dad-of-two Steve Walsh, 44, was hoping to get some winter colour by forking out for an all-over tan on a salon’s sunbed.

But he hopped off in agony after just ten minutes when a terrible pain gripped his most delicate area.

He looked down to see his manhood was scarlet red and beginning to blister.

After delicately putting his underpants and trousers back on, he demanded the manageress of the Ipswich salon inspect the sunbed.

To her horror, she discovered a trainee had accidentally replaced one of the bulbs with a super-strength UV light.

It concentrated the tanning rays on one particular area – which unfortunately for Mr Walsh happened to be his groin.

“I was enjoying a relaxing lie down on the bed and looking forward to getting a bit of colour in time for Christmas,” Mr Walsh, a recruitment consultant, said.

“Everything seemed normal at first, but then I noticed a smell like something was cooking – a bit like a sausage burning under the grill.

“When the pain became unbearable I had to stand up. I couldn’t believe what had happened. My todger was literally steaming.”

The owner of the Crisps Tanning Salon in Ipswich has apologised to Mr Walsh and given him a full refund, plus free tanning sessions for six months.

“It’s the least we could do,” manageress Urma Crisp said. “The trainee has received further training on equipment maintenance.”

Mr Walsh, who lives near Debenham in Suffolk, said his penis had since recovered – and had a nice colour.

Suffolk roads hit by gritting budget cuts

The Editor
-
0
Suffolk roads hit by gritting budget cuts

Gritting bicycle

There is growing concern that Suffolk County Council has cut too much of its budget for gritting the roads.

Motorists now fear the county’s highways will be too dangerous to use this winter.

Gone are the familiar gritting lorries that sweep across Suffolk’s roads, keeping them clear of ice.

Instead 27 new bicycle gritters have been purchased to try to do the same job at a fraction of the cost.

Delighted highways chiefs say they have saved over £5 million by selling off the lorries.

But they have refused to say how long it now takes staff on the yellow bicycles to clear the same routes.

Housewife Lorraine Fisher, from Martlesham near Ipswich said: “I saw some poor bloke pedaling furiously up the Bealings hill today spreading grit from his little basket on the front.

“He had to get off and push when he was half way up.

“And when he reached the top he had to turn around and go back to the depot to refill with grit.

“It must have taken him all day just to do a couple of miles – I really can’t see how this is cost effective at all.”

Motorist Paul Eaton added: “I got stuck behind one of these when it was gritting the A140. It was very dangerous, even if he did have his little yellow light flashing.

“By the time they have gritted all the roads, it will be summer.”

A county council spokesman said: “We are very pleased with our fleet of gritting bikes.

“They are much cheaper and greener than lorries. The only drawback is our drivers are not so keen on having to ride a bike.”

1...317318319...401Page 318 of 401

Just In

Sport

Business

Features

Contact us