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Six-fingered Norfolk spin bowler probed by cricket chiefs

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Six-fingered Norfolk spin bowler probed by cricket chiefs

Spin bowler

Cricket’s ruling body is investigating a six-fingered Norfolk spin bowler who is breaking records with his extraordinary technique.

Bubba Spuckler, 37, uses his extra finger to generate astonishing spin on the ball, bamboozling batsmen who never quite know which way it is going to turn.

Spuckler has been tearing up the Norfolk Cricket League this season, taking an incredible 72 wickets for his side Downham Market in just nine games – at an average of just 8.2 runs per wicket.

But opposition teams have complained that his extra-fingered skills might be illegal, or at the very least be against the spirit of the game.

Now the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) has launched an inquiry.

Spin bowler

Officials have been sent videos of Spuckler’s six-fingered bowling technique, and will study the tapes before interviewing him.

Spuckler, who runs a smallholding growing turnips with his sister and their eight children, may have to travel to London for the face-to-face showdown.

ECB spokeswoman Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Strictly speaking there is nothing in the rules of the game that caters for bowlers with six fingers.

“We realise this has been an issue in Norfolk for generations, but it is the first time teams have made an official complaint.

“Of course, if Mr Spuckler was a rubbish bowler, we would never have heard anything about it.”

It is unclear what punishment might be served if it is found Spuckler had spun his way into trouble, but he might be banned from bowling altogether.

His club captain, Mike Mayhew said: “He’a rubbish batsman, so he would likely be dropped from the team.

“But we hope it doesn’t come to that. His spin bowling is bewitching – he can generate vicious off-spin or leg-spin, and even our wicket keeper can’t read him.”

Had he taken up the game when he was younger, experts say he would have represented his county – and could possibly have made the England team.

Meanwhile, there is still no sign of the Norfolk man who got lost on his spin bike.

Man discovers baths are getting smaller but still cost the same

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Man discovers baths are getting smaller but still cost the same

Baths smaller

A Suffolk man is furious after making the extraordinary discovery that baths are getting smaller.

Steve Walshe, 42, from Woodbridge, says the news is another example of greedy businesses increasing profits by downsizing without telling consumers.

He revealed: “When I was a kid, the bath was huge and I used to be able to stretch out and immerse myself underwater.

“Nowadays I need to sit up, and if I try to lie back my legs have to go on top of the tub, next to the taps.

“This is a disgrace, because bath makers are simply making them smaller to save money on materials, hoping we would not notice.

“They are rinsing us for profit.”

The row follows revelations that some confectionery items, including Toblerone, the legendary Swiss chocolate treat, may have reduced in size on the quiet while still costing the same price.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, of the British Bathtub Makers Association, denied that baths were getting any smaller.

She said: “They have always been the same size, and always will.

“It seems Mr Walshe has ignored the fact it is he who has got bigger, not the bath that has got smaller.”

Consumer expert Nick Haugh added: “Mr Walshe might also be noticing that policemen are getting younger.”

The Suffolk Gazette has previously reported how supermodel Claudia Schiffer baths in Adnams beer to keep her skin looking young, and how a man drowned in a bathtub full of baked beans during a charity challenge.

Brothers threw whole horse in horseshoe-throwing contest, court hears

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Brothers threw whole horse in horseshoe-throwing contest, court hears

Horse

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Two regulars from a Norfolk pub have been fined after a throwing a whole horse during a traditional horseshoe-throwing tournament.

The brothers hadn’t fully grasped what horseshoe throwing involved, and repeatedly threw the stunned animal across the pub car park.

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Norwich magistrates heard Gary and Bryan Spuckler entered a team into the Norwich and District Horseshoe Throwing Contest at the Cock and Pye Inn outside Wroxham.

But instead of turning up to the event with two gleaming iron horseshoes, used traditionally to throw nearest to a stake, they brought a horse they had borrowed from a family friend.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, prosecuting at Norwich Magistrates Court, said the brothers were charged with animal cruelty.

Horseshoe throwing

She told magistrates: “When it was their turn to play, other teams watched in horror as they picked up the horse and threw it across the car park to the target area.

“Everyone began shouting at them, but they misunderstood, thinking they must have thrown the animal from the wrong place.

“So while the stunned horse dusted itself down, the pair turned around and did it again.”

Ms Fisher said the horse, a ten-year-old chestnut called Delia, suffered cuts and bruises, but had escaped serious injury.

But the horseshoe landing pit and stakes were flattened beyond repair, and the annual competition had to be called off, with all the teams, from pubs across Norfolk, retiring to the bar.

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Alan Partridge, defending the Spucklers, told magistrates they were deeply sorry for what they had done.

“It was an innocent mistake,” Mr Partridge said. “They had not read the rules of horseshoe throwing and got it terribly wrong.

“This is a traditional country pass-time, played in rural pub car parks for generations, and the Spucklers were keen to give it a go.

“In hindsight, they would have been better to have gone along simply to watch.”

Gary, 44, and Bryan Spuckler, 48, both painters and decorators, admitted cruelty to a horse, and were each fined £250 and ordered to pay compensation to the Cock and Pye landlord, Mr Don Lightfoot.

He had written to the court, claiming £35 damages to his horseshoe throwing pit in the pub car park.

Martin Wyard, a spokesman for the National Horseshoe Pitchers Association, said he had never heard of contestants throwing a whole horse before.

“We didn’t think anyone could be so stupid,” he said.

Delia, meanwhile, has fully recovered from her ordeal and is enjoying being put out to grass on a field in Carrow Road, Norwich.

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Football shame grows as Arsenal display huge gun

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Football shame grows as Arsenal display huge gun

Arsenal cannon

The row over England footballer Raheem Sterling’s gun tattoo intensified today when it emerged Arsenal display a more menacing weapon.

Now there are calls for the London club to be thrown out of the Premier League for inciting violence.

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Manchester City striker Sterling faced demands to be dropped from the World Cup after sharing a photograph of the gun tattoo down his right calf.

He claimed the inking was simply in memory of his father, who was shot dead in Jamaica when Sterling was just two.

But still everyone got very cross and took to newspapers and social media to say how disgusted they were that a public figure, who young people looked up to, could promote guns in such a way.

Now it has emerged that Arsenal has been showing off its huge weapon for years, a massive cannon that could do lots more damage than the single assault rifle on Sterling’s leg.

Snowflake Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is an absolute disgrace.

“There is way too much gun crime in London, and here we have a famous London football club shamelessly displaying its huge gun.

“Young people going to watch games will be influenced by this, and find their own cannon.

“Before you know it, the streets around Islington will be like something from the Battle of Gettysburg.

“I demand that Arsenal be thrown out of the Premier League, as well as West Ham because hammers are dangerous, too.”

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Meanwhile, more shocking news was emerging from the world of football.

As knife crime continues to soar, it has been revealed Sheffield United show off two huge machetes on their shirts.

And London minnows Dagenham and Redbridge have two daggers – a sure way of turning impressionable young supporters into knife-wielding maniacs.

Youth crime expert Steve Walshe said the Football Association should launch an immediate inquiry.

He said: “Everyone was getting upset about Raheem Sterling’s tattoo, but your report has clearly highlighted the problem in football is worse than we thought, with top clubs encouraging people to be killers.”

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Council fills potholes with bedding plants

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Council fills potholes with bedding plants

Bedding plants in potholes

The growing number of potholes on Suffolk’s roads will be filled with attractive bedding plants in a new initiative by the county council.

Highways bosses say floral treats will not only look pretty, but slow drivers down as they avoid squashing them.

Accountants for Suffolk County Council worked out it was cheaper to fill a pothole with beautiful plants like geraniums, busy lizzies and begonias than it was to repair it properly.

They secretly tested a road outside Stowmarket last week, filling the numerous potholes with earth and a variety of flowers.

The results were an immediate success, and work will start throughout the rest of the county next week.

And soon Suffolk’s roads will be awash with colour.

County highways official Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We think this is a brilliant initiative.

“The plants will look gorgeous, there will be riot of colour on our roads, including all the A, B and C roads.

“Drivers will appreciate not only the colourful displays in the middle of the road, but also the fact they will prevent damage to their vehicles because they will be avoiding the potholes underneath.”

A spokesman for the county council refused to say if a person would be paid to go around and water all the plants.

“We have studied the long-range weather forecast and we are confident the plants will receive plenty of natural watering throughout the whole summer.

“Of course, we will have to replace them with hardy perennials in time for the winter,” the spokesman said.

But some car drivers were not keen on the green initiative. Shirley Capon from Woodbridge said: “I spend enough time trying to avoid lycra-clad cyclists on the road as it is.

“But I suppose at least these plants will look and smell better.”

Local woman manages to buy house in Southwold

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Local woman manages to buy house in Southwold

Southwold house prices

A Southwold woman has somehow managed to fight off wealthy Londoners and buy a house in her home town, it has emerged.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, snapped up the tiny terraced property for £500,000, sparking suspicions she must have won the lottery or robbed a bank.

Ms Fisher, a teacher, is believed to be the first local person to buy a house in Southwold for more than eight years.

To celebrate, town dignitaries are laying on a special reception for her, with Adnams, the seaside town’s brewery, providing free beer, wine and spirits.

The achingly-trendy resort, famous for its lighthouse, has seen property prices sky-rocket, with posh Londoners snapping up any available house or flat to use as a second home.

As a result, locals have been forced out, and you can’t walk down the High Street without hearing little Archie, Aubrey or Jemima shouting at mummy for an ice cream.

Local property expert Steve Walshe is still trying to come to terms with a local woman buying a house in Southwold.

“This deserves to be front page news,” he said. “How anyone local can buy a house here is, quite frankly, astonishing.

“The smallest terraced will be upwards of half a million. Flats are not much cheaper.

“And if you wanted to buy a semi-detached or, heaven forbid, a detached property, it would be easier to buy a small country.

“But of course that is no problem for the rich Londoners, who are perfectly happy to pay extortionate amounts for weekend bolt-holes in Southwold, which makes for a pleasant outing from Islington, Fulham or Kensington.”

Local man Tony Stone is suspicious about how Ms Fisher, who works in nearby Lowestoft, managed to buy the house.

“She says she is a teacher but she still managed to pay half a million for a tiny home.

“She has either robbed a bank or come into some money – likely from some wealthy relatives in London.”

‘Safe hands’ Liverpool goalkeeper handed new Brexit role

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‘Safe hands’ Liverpool goalkeeper handed new Brexit role

Liverpool goalkeeper

Theresa May has put Liverpool goalkeeper Loris Karius in charge of Brexit negotiations because she needs a safe pair of hands.

The Prime Minister was impressed by the way Karius handled the pressure-cooker atmosphere of the Champions League final against Real Madrid last night.

Karius showed a safe pair of hands, and can have done absolutely nothing about two of the goals against the Spanish side.

Gareth Bale’s overhead kick wasn’t too bad, either.

A Downing Street spokesman said: “We need a safe pair of hands to manage Britain’s Brexit negotiations.

“Loris Karius has shown he has nerves of steel and will ensure we get the result we need from the EU.

“He won’t let anything slip through his fingers.”

Safe hands

Liverpool fans, who had traveled to Kiev in the Ukraine in their tens of thousands for the big game, were aghast that their hero was being snapped up by the Government.

Supporter Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “He’s our goalkeeping God, and we’ll be sorry to lose him.

“But Britain’s Brexit negotiations with the EU need to be handled with care, and Loris is the man you want in a crisis.”

Karius will be invited to Downing Street next week for a cup of coffee with Mrs May. He will be handed a large napkin in case he spills it.

Royal lacky gave Harry and Meghan the wrong official title

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Royal lacky gave Harry and Meghan the wrong official title

Duke and Duchess of Sussex

By Jane Seymour

A bungling Royal flunky has been sacked after messing up newlywed Prince Harry and Meghan’s new official title, it has emerged.

Her Majesty the Queen had decreed that the couple should be known as the Duke and Duchess of SUFFOLK – a title to go with her surprise wedding gift of Framlingham Castle.

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But an assistant at the Buckingham Palace press office – named locally as Lorraine Fisher, 34 – misheard the Queen’s orders, given over the telephone from Windsor Castle – and was convinced the title was Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

She then drew up a press release and sent it out to the world’s media, together with lots of fluff about the Duke of Sussex title last being used in 1749.

By the time Ms Fisher’s catastrophic error was discovered, it was too late to change it.

Duke and Duchess of Suffolk

An insider at Buckingham Palace said: “It was an extraordinary error, although it’s easy to see how one could mix up Sussex and Suffolk if the phone line was a bit dodgy.

“Ms Fisher was devastated. She actually comes from Suffolk, so you’d think she would have got it right.

“Luckily for her, the sack was the only outcome. This sort of cock-up would have resulted in her head being chopped off not too long ago.”

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While the people of Sussex celebrated their new Royal association, businesses in Suffolk were facing up to losing a potential windfall of millions of pounds.

Tourism expert Anne Cantelo said: “Visitors would no doubt have flocked to Suffolk, and the county would have become well-known all over the world.

“At least the county is still proud to have Harry and Meghan owning Framlingham Castle, which will become their official residence when they are out of London.”

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