International tourists have made bold claims saying that an insultive tradition of “2 fingers of scotch” from Norfolk makes them smaller.
This is the reason why nobody wants to go to Norfolk right now. It’s a crisis more urgent than the pandemic.
Lord of Norfolk on Insultive tradition:
Emperor of Norfolk, Peter Grimes (he is just the mayor but calls himself the Emperor) has made an official statement regarding this claim.
He said, “It is perfectly okay to drink scotch but just make sure not to be around pretty women because they will make fun of you.”
“It is now illegal to drink scotch in a pool especially if it is cold.”
“And lastly, if you end up drinking scotch, just take double the amount of Viagra. Maybe some exercises down there to make the muscles grow”.
Authorities ruled
According to the WHO and the United Nations of Britain, “Dogs are allowed to drink the scotch because it doesn’t affect them.”
The WHO stated “Scotch and viagra sales have skyrocketed because if you drink scotch, you must balance it out with viagra. There is no other way or you will die.”
They recommend that you don’t drink scotch if you are still going through puberty.
If you get the death penalty by the electic chair, they will pour scotch on your head instead of water.
Rappers are throwing their rivals in pools full of scotch because it’s emasculating.
After being thrown in a pool full of scotch it begs the question, “What if you offer a drink, specifically scotch to a woman, what does that say about you? What kind of man are you?”
Here comes the main stream media:
There is a game show on the BBC, hosted by Lorraine Fisher, 34, in which they play a game to see who can drink the most scotch and viagra without passing out. The winner gets a lifetime supply of scotch and viagra.
The show is called “DRINK… THAT… SCOTCH… MATE”
Tourists are afraid of even going near Norfolk not just because of Insultive tradition but they believe that all the liquid and food are contaminated with scotch which will inevitably cause birth defects, sterilisation, and impotence.
This phenomenon is not going to stop people from drinking.
Basically, if you continue to drink a “finger of whiskey”, your wife will want you to only use your fingers.
According to the Scotch Whisky Association, in Galeic, the word “whisky” means “water of life”. It truly is the water of life for Scotland as they produce the best alcohol which is bringing it the cash flow.
It must come from Scotland.
So does that mean every male from Scotland is at a disadvantage?
According to the FDA, this is very much not true. The men from Scotland have invented a proprietary pill in which they are immune from skringae.
They are not giving the secret out as it will disrupt the sales of their whiskey. People love whiskey and will continue to drink it. The best viagra also comes from Scotland so the more scotch they buy, the more viagra they will inevitably buy.
The poorest person in Scotland still earns an annual salary of £233,000 just because they don’t have any Insultive tradition.
Other countries are declaring war on Scotland demanding they release the antidote to the shrinkage. They are expecting an invasion but Scotland is not scared.
Scotland officials said, “It’s going to be a little whittle army; we are not scared of an army of shrunken little boys.”
