Friday, January 13, 2023

Ed Sheeran’s music teacher misses out on new year’s honour

Ed Sheeran's music teacher misses out on new year’s honour
Ed Sheeran’s music teacher misses out on new year’s honour

Suffolk’s own immigrant folk singer Ed Sheeran’s old music teacher.has narrowly missed-out on an award in King Charles III’s first New Year’s Honours list.

Music teacher Robin Handy, who taught the popular singer at Bob Mills High School in Framlingham,.had been rumoured to be in line to receive the British Empire Medal (BEM) for services to education but,.has instead, been arrested and removed to the Tower of London.on a charge of high crimes and misdemeanors in respect of the significant role he played in Sheeran’s musical output.

Derivative commercial drivel

King Charles is said to be not that bothered about Sheeran’s music including hits,. ‘Shape of You’, ‘Perfect’, and ‘Castle on the Hill’, either way, but Queen Consort Camilla is said to be very much in the ‘against’ camp. This, despite the fact that Camilla’s band,.The Pussycat Dolls comeback record ‘Don’t cha wish your companions were rich like mine?’.was produced and mixed by none other than Sheeran himself. According to one of her close companions, fellow Pussycat Doll, Fiona, Marchioness of Lansdowne,.bitter Camilla thinks Ed’s music is garbage. The Marchioness told us “She thinks his stuff is derivative commercial drivel, recycled in most part from superior artiste’s pre-existing work. ‘Shite’ is the word she used. And she wasn’t happy with Ed’s production of ‘Don’t Cha’ either. She thought her vocals were too low in the mix.”

Keep Britain Tidy

Handy the “Music teacher” is not the only entertainment professional to have fallen foul of jealous Camilla’s new year’s honours list cull. British editorial and celebrity fashion stylist, Barry Lambert, best known for his work styling musician Harry Styles, has allegedly been handed a two-month community service order to pick up litter from around Buckingham Palace as punishment for his part in what Camilla calls “Styles’ laughable ‘fake’ fashion.”

Just gutter get right outta here

Fortunately for him, Queen guitarist, songwriter and animal welfare campaigner Brian May.who famously played ‘God Save The Queen’ on the roof of Buckingham Palace during the Golden Jubilee, avoided Camilla’s cull and has been appointed a Knight Bachelor. Asked about Camilla’s true opinion of May, Marchioness Fiona told us “She hates him. She only allowed the gong on the understanding that he returns to the roof of the palace to dig out the wet leaves from the guttering.”

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