Wednesday, December 7, 2022

Floaters Paradise to open in Bury St Edmunds

Floaters Paradise to open in Bury St Edmunds
Floaters Paradise to open in Bury St Edmunds

A new swimming pool, Floaters Paradise, opens in Bury St Edmunds this week. Including Hawaiian-inspired rock face diving boards, a ‘Waikiki’ wave machine, and ‘Honolulu’ whirlpool. The Olympic-sized pool is sure to make a splash with local residents.

The pool’s operators ‘Poopypools’ of Lowestoft, based the new £2.5 million leisure centre on the cultural heritage and excitement of the Island of Hawaii. The Suffolk Leisure firm claims that ‘Floaters Paradise’ is so authentically Hawaiian, its pools are filled with 660,000 gallons of water imported from Oahu.

Murdered in Cold Blood

Hawaii is best known for its sandy beaches, blue waters, daredevil surfers, hula-hula girls, and Elvis – who was the King of Hawaii.

What is less well-known about the charismatic, Palm tree-spattered territory in the North Pacific Ocean, is that it is reportedly… a bit of a dump. Imagine the Isle of Wight but with… Elvis.

It was also the temporary home of Mark Chapman – the fat slob who murdered John Lennon. Hmmm.

Aloha from Lowestoft

In fact, the more you think about it, Hawaii mightn’t have been the best choice model for ‘Poopypools’ latest venture…

The ‘Hawaii News Now’ website reports on a recent water quality report that found three Hawaiian beaches had consistently high bacteria levels. Which is usually an indicator of the presence of human or animal waste in the water. The cause is reportedly some 88,000 cesspools across Hawaii. That are contributing over 53 million gallons of polluted wastewater every single day into the environment.

Floaters Paradise launching date

Floaters Paradise opens on the 34th October. Free Maui Island Breeze cocktails, multicoloured Hibiscus garlands, Elvis records, and nose pegs will be available to everyone attending on opening day!

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