Wednesday, June 19, 2024

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£12.5 million Suffolk Lotto Winner still missing

Suffolk Lotto Winner Still Poor

The jackpot prize of a £12.5 million Lotto winner is still at large, presumably still skint. Three months on from the draw.

The potentially life-changing ‘golden’ ticket was bought in person by a person from the Doolally Tobacco & Confectionary Store in Marlesford in July.

Lucky Drip & missing Lotto Winner

The missing ‘Lotto winner’ is presumed to be either abroad, unwell, in a hospital or just a complete f*king idiot. I mean, if you are going to go through all the trouble of actually walking to a shop to buy a ticket. The least you can do is check it a couple of days later. I know if I had picked the winning numbers. I would be on the phone to Camelot before the last ping-pong ball had stopped spinning.

The winning numbers were: 3, 16, 20, 41, 57 and… wait for it… 58.

Oh, FFS.

Scavenge for a Brighter Future

The National Lottery is urging people in the area to check their paper tickets or look around for discarded ones on the pavements and gutters. In case the ‘priceless’ missing ticket had been dropped or accidentally thrown away.

As a consequence of so many winning ticket-holders neglecting to collect their prizes. Camelot is reportedly changing its famous catchphrase from ‘You’ve got to be in it to win it’ to ‘You’ve not only got to be in it to win you’ve also got to not bin it to win it’ which the lottery operator admits does not have quite the same ring to it. 

‘Lotto’ made 11 people millionaires last month. While a UK ticket-holder scooped a whopping £171 billion jackpot in the EuroBillions draw.

Lotto winner has 180 days from the day of the draw to claim the prize.

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