Thursday, May 30, 2024

Bum-pinchers descend on Suffolk Booty bakery

Bum-pinchers descend on Suffolk Booty bakery
Bum-pinchers descend on Suffolk Booty bakery

IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – A bakery in Ipswich, Suffolk, has unwittingly become the unintended hotspot for dirty old men in raincoats seeking cheap thrills.

By Our Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs

The reason? A seemingly innocent advertising poster depicting “Fresh Buns” displayed above a tantalizing image of baked goods resembling the alluring curves of a woman’s buttocks.

What began as a harmless attempt to attract customers with a playful pun quickly spiralled into a surreal scene reminiscent of a slapstick comedy. Instead of finding themselves surrounded by a bevvy of alluring ladies. Visiting pervs were greeted by shelves stocked with nothing more than loaves of bread, cakes, and pastries. Ugh!

Pervert’s paradise

The Flowermill bakery’s owners, initially puzzled by the sudden influx of disturbed visitors. Soon realized the unintended consequences of their choice of advertisement.

As the news of the poster spread like wildfire through the town’s sex-crazed underworld. The bakery became a magnet for a steady stream of raincoat-clad sleazeballs seeking a different kind of “buns.”

Dismayed residents, appalled by the sight of hordes of geriatric weirdos loitering outside the bakery, instantly called the Police.

Clever marketing by Suffolk bakery

Despite Suffolk bakery’s genuine attempt to lure normal, food-loving customers with a clever marketing tactic. The unintended consequences serve as a smutty reminder that sometimes, a simple pun can lead to unforeseen pornographic consequences.

As for the dirty old men in raincoats, they left Suffolk bakery with nothing more than a soft sausage roll in hand.

Meanwhile: Sniff my sausage: Greggs launches own-brand aftershave

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