Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Waitrose counts the cost of a fishy c*nt

Waitrose counts the cost of a fishy c*nt

WAITROSE, STOWMARKET – a branch of Waitrose in the picturesque town of Stowmarket, Suffolk, UK, created a public relations blunder that appalled their upmarket customers.

The fiasco began when the store unveiled a window display bearing the phrase “You Count”. In an attempt to convey the message that every customer mattered. The slogan was intended to be an ode to inclusivity and a message of appreciation to Waitrose’ upper-crust customers.

Waitrose customers

However, what local customers saw was quite a different story. The letter “o” in “You Count” had been artfully, or rather artlessly, removed from the original slogan. The result? “You Cunt” beamed at passersby in bold letters, invoking shock, outrage, and no shortage of embarrassed chuckles.

Fishy c*nt

Following an investigation by store management. It was revealed that the fishy goings-on were the work of a disgruntled member of the supermarket’s staff. Jason Savage, 16, who had been stewing over his measly pay. He had decided to take matters into his own hands.– or rather, paintbrush, and send the store’s management a message they wouldn’t forget in a hurry.

Harumphing customers

Soon after the store opened yesterday morning, harumphing customers, unimpressed with the employee’s ingenious act of vandalism, turned away, leaving their grocery carts behind as they headed off to more appreciative establishments.

Waitrose swiftly addressed the situation, repairing the damaged display,.but by then the damage was done, and the supermarket was left counting the cost of its ill-fated “You Count” campaign.

Appropriately, Savage, who wasn’t very good at the job anyway,.was fired on the spot demonstrating that, like Waitrose’ customers, he also didn’t count.

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