Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Waitrose puts Audi logo on posh customers’ free coffee

Audi style coffee in Waitrose

Posh yummy mummies can now get their free Waitrose coffee emblazoned with the logo of their Audi car.

Executives at the middle-class supermarket spotted the easy way to appeal to their snobby customers’ vanity.

Waitrose stores across the country offer free coffees for shoppers, who are clearly so important and busy that they have to multi-task during the weekly shop.

Now bosses say sticking the four-ringed Audi car logo on top of the coffee leaves shoppers beaming with pride.

Nearly every car in the Waitrose car park is an Audi, with every driver trying to park their pride and joy in a space as close to the store entrance as possible.

Then, after paying up with their gold credit cards at the till, they tell miserable child Tarquin or Cordelia loudly, so everyone within twenty feet can hear: “Come on, daaahling, let’s get all of this loaded in the AUDI.”

Waitrose groceries

A Waitrose executive said: “Our middle-class customers love their middle-class Audis. We already serve them free middle-class coffee while they shop for their Waitrose groceries, so it makes sense to add the Audi logo on top.

“They don’t appear to drink the coffee anymore, however, but instead simply walk around with it so everyone can see they have an Audi coffee.”

Shopping expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said that although yummy mummies love coffee, she did not expect the coffee stunt to catch on with other stores.

“I cannot imagine Lidl or Aldi giving out free coffee with the Vauxhall logo on, or maybe an image of a police car.

“But my sources tell me B&M are looking at putting a mobility scooter design on their coffee.”

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