Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Suffolk Police Apache Fleet partners with Cillit Bang

Cillit Bang

Suffolk Police Apache Fleet has teamed up with Cillit Bang to help them reach new heights in the 2024 Olympics.

The next Olympics will be held in Paris, France beginning on July 26, 2024 and ending on August 11, 2024.

Cillit Bang will sponsor Suffolk Police Apaches. Cillit Bang is famous for the tagline “Bang and and the job is done” which will have their logo added to all 4 of Suffolks Apache fleet.

Why partnering with Cillit bang?

They believe that British Sprinters will dominate the next Olympics which is why they partnered up with Cillit Bang.

“We will need their powerful cleaning product to clean up all the stains and remains of the other sprinters”, according to Suffolk Police.

But not only will they use Cilit Bang to clean up the remains of the competition, also the sprinters they are training.

Currently, over fifteen new attack helicopters are undergoing test flights for the British army.

The AH-64E Apache aircraft will replace the Apache AH Mk1 which will go into service by 2024, just in time for the Olympics.

The new AH-64E attack helicopters can reach speeds up to 160 miles per hour. That’s a whole lot of speed!

Suffolk police are currently training 5 British sprinters ahead of the 2024 Olympics. They are Marcus Adam, Harry Aikines-Aryeetey, John Ainsworth-Davis, Kriss Akabusi, and Willie Applegarth.


Hughe Dennett, head of Suffolk Police stated, “We will essentially chase and shoot at the British sprinters at 160 miles per hour. If we vaporise them, then at least we know we have Cilit Bang to clean up the mess. And any citizen over the age of 5 years old will have to go through the training. Every citizen will be chosen at random.”

Dennett also stated, “In addition to the air crafts shooting at you at 168 miles per hour, we will have mini drones shooting at your legs so you can run faster. This is the only way we will win truly dominate the Olympics”

It seems rather fitting, said Lorraine Fisher, 34 head of Suffolks Air Operations. A simple squeeze of the trigger and bad guys get vaporised. No courts, solicitors or prisons.

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