Friday, March 1, 2024

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Pizza Express runs out of dough

Pizza Express is on the verge of collapse after running out of dough, it has emerged.

The restaurant chain is said to owe £1.1 billion and has called in financial advisers ahead of talks with creditors.

Pizza expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “A company that relies on dough has run out it.

“There may be a chance of restructuring the debt, but it’s just as likely the company could be sliced up.”

Meanwhile, fans are already suggesting that because pizzas are Italian, Brexit is to blame for the crisis.

Idiot Steve Walshe said: “It’s a national disgrace. The Government should step in and nationalise Pizza Express, saving it for the nation.

“It managed to find a fleet of planes to rescue stranded Thomas Cook passengers, so why can’t it get together a fleet of mopeds to carry our pizza deliveries?”

The Suffolk Gazette resolutely refuses to do any more pizza jokes, because that would be too cheesy.

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