Tuesday, April 2, 2024

New James Bond to be played by Muslim woman in a burka

Jameela Bond

New James Bond to be played by Muslim woman in a burka. The name’s Bond, Jameela Bond.

James Bond is to be replaced by a burka-wearing Muslim woman as producers look to reflect modern Britain.

The switch to Jameela Bond is perfect for a top-secret agent because mad criminals trying to take over the world would never know her identity.

Bond producer Barbara Broccoli is now scouring talent agencies looking for an athletic woman in a burka who can drive fast cars and flirt with Miss Moneypenny.

The news comes as actor Tom Hardy is being tipped elsewhere for the coveted James Bond role when Daniel Craig hangs up his pistol.

While most people have welcomed the change to a Muslim woman, agreeing it’s a perfect reflection of Britain’s diversity, some are not so pleased.

Nearly 50 Daily Mail readers were hospitalised this morning after choking on their cornflakes.

And Boris Johnson has claimed the move will make the film franchise “a laughing-stock”.

Suffolk film critic Lorraine Fisher, 34, said the switch to Jameela Bond would transform the character originally created by Ian Fleming.

“There’s been arguments that James Bond should be played by a black man, a Muslim or woman.

“Nobody saw this one coming, but making the agent a Muslim woman in a burka is brilliant.”

Bosses hope to sign up the new Jameela Bond soon.

And they will then begin work on the next film, a remake of the classic For Your Eyes Only.

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