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Success-starved Norwich City change kit back to blue and white

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New Norwich city blue and white kit
The new 2020/21 Norwich City home kit

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Norwich City have surprised fans by bringing back the blue and white kit the club ditched way back in 1907.

Club officials blame the hideous yellow and green strip for the lack of any success for more than 110 years.

In contrast, City’s larger East Anglian neighbour, Ipswich Town, who famously play in blue and white, have pocketed the top-flight league title, FA Cup and UEFA Cup. And supplied two legendary England managers in Sir Alf Ramsey and Sir Bobby Robson.

Norwich, meanwhile, once participated in the UEFA Cup and had Bryan Gunn as a manager.

Norwich City club insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained: “It’s time to get rid of the yellow and green. It’s become synonymous with failure.

“We’ll ignore the fact Ipswich play in blue and white, and that the colours are hated by our supporters.

“If it brings back success, then we will soon win them round.”

Norwich City Wikipedia page
Norwich City FC’s Wikipedia page explains the original blue and white strip

Norwich, who were relegated yet again from the Premier League last month, originally turned out in blue and white halved shirts.

In typical Norfolk haphazardness, sometimes the blue half was on the right, sometimes on the left.

These only changed to yellow shirts in around 1907 when the Canaries nickname became popular. But quite why the hideous combination of green shorts was added is anyone’s guess.

The club could, for example, have added blue shorts and looked like Brazil

Unfortunately, however, the only Brazil playing in East Anglia was legendary Ipswich Town and Scotland striker, Alan Brazil!

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Top 5 men’s health myths debunked

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Man bod

The world of men’s health is riddled with myths and half-truths, which makes navigating it fairly tricky unless you have the right information to hand.

To help you avoid falling for common misconceptions, here are just five of the most common falsehoods that there is no evidence to support.

There is no way to prevent hair loss

Male pattern baldness impacts millions of men, yet most also think that you can do nothing to prevent it in spite of the fact that there have been effective treatments available for decades.

While the likes of Finasteride and Minoxidil may not be well known, they really do work for a large proportion of patients, stopping hair loss in its tracks and in some cases reversing the effects. You should definitely consider alternatives to hair transplants like Finasteride or Minoxidil rather than taking the surgical route.

Erectile dysfunction is only a problem for older men

ED looms large for plenty of men, but you might assume that you do not need to worry about this until you are well past your sexual prime. In reality, a growing number of men under 40 are suffering from performance issues in the bedroom, which is helping to raise awareness about the prevalence of this issue and also reduce the stigma surrounding it.

Protein powder is a shortcut to building muscle

Protein powders are all the rage at the moment, but unfortunately, they will do nothing in isolation; you need to actually put in the hard graft in the gym to turn that extra helping of protein into muscle mass. Indeed if you take protein supplements but do not follow a suitable training regiment, you could end up putting on weight without getting ripped.

Crash diets are effective

The trend for encouraging men (and women) to go on crash diets during which time calorie intake is rapidly reduced is problematic for a number of reasons, the most significant of which is that it is unlikely to lead to any significant weight loss.

The reason for this is that your body will react badly to a sudden drop-off in calories and will try to ration the burning of fat because it thinks starvation is on the cards, which is obviously far from the desired effect. You are better off taking a more balanced approach and using a combination of healthy eating and regular exercise to stay fit.

‘Light’ beers are good for you

While the real ale craze is still going strong, there is also another emerging trend for so-called ‘light’ beers, which offer a lower alcohol content and also a reduced number of calories per pint compared with their full-bodied counterparts. This gives the impression that they are healthy when in reality they are only marginally less problematic than the stronger alternatives. Do not assume that you will be able to shift a beer belly simply by switching to light, low-strength beers now that pubs are open again, especially if this is the only change that you are making.

Prince Andrew left to starve as Pizza Express closes restaurants

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By Jane Seymour, Royal Correspondent

There were fears today that Prince Andrew could starve after news that Pizza Express was closing 67 of its restaurants.

He adores eating pizzas with common people and fondly recalls the time he enjoyed a meal at Pizza Express in Woking.

But royal watchers now fear the Duke of York will waste away with nothing to eat because he has nowhere to go.

Prince Andrew promotion
Upper crust: Prince Andrew could starve (Photo Thorne1983 Creative Commons)

Pizza Express announced today it may have to close 67 further branches, on top of the 75 it announced last month.

Hundreds of jobs are at risk, but most Brits will instead be concerned for the welfare of the Queen’s son.

Royal fan Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Poor Andrew loves pizza. What will he eat now? It’s so unfair.

“He’ll be sweating about this.”

It is also unclear where people can now say they were eating when they are alleged to have been somewhere else.

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Liam Fox urged to stop using password123 as his email password

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Hacked: Liam Fox

Conservative MP Liam Fox should change his email password after it was revealed Russian hackers accessed his account to steal Government secrets.

The hapless former International Trade Secretary assumed password123 was a rock-solid password to keep his official emails safe.

But Russian hackers soon guessed it to access all sorts of files.

Among them were details of UK-US trade talks, which ended up being shown around by Jeremy Corbyn in the lead-up to the last general election.

Whitehall insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We have had to have words with Mr Fox about his security.

“Any numpty knows that password123 is pretty obvious but perhaps Mr Fox was not that aware.”

A Government spokesman insisted there were robust systems in place to protect the IT systems of officials and staff.

“This includes telling them not to use obvious passwords like their date of birth, name of their dog or firstborn.”

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The power of digital marketing

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digital marketing

Marketing entails displaying your products and services to the right audience. Digital marketing, therefore, is a promotion technique that utilises all electronic tools on the internet. Enterprises apply various tools when conducting their online marketing. 

These include social networking sites (SNW), emails, websites, and others. Stay tuned to discover the top industries that apply digital marketing tools and the top digital marketing tactics.

Top industries using digital marketing techniques 

Enterprises realise that digital marketing techniques are critical nowadays and must be applied to their marketing strategies. Some businesses use online marketing strategies either to complement the standard promotion strategies or as the primary marketing option. Different industries have applied web marketing and succeeded. These include:

Entertainment 

The entertainment industry is one the fastest growing industries reaping significant outcomes from digital marketing techniques. The music and film industry are particularly utilising online marketing tools to promote their entertainment content. Through digital marketing, the artists in the music industry can link to their fans and get the latter’s ideas. Some musicians also launch their music career through online platforms.

Apart from brand visibility, music artists apply digital marketing platforms to inform their fans of any upcoming releases or events.

The filming industry uses multiple online platforms for marketing their content. The sector can apply such platforms like YouTube to offer fans a sneak preview of specific episodes in their movies. Marketers of the film industry can use particular images and hashtags for marketing exciting adventures in their films.

Healthcare 

Players in the healthcare industry use digital marketing platforms to inform their clients about various products and services available. The online promotion platforms can be used when conducting B2B campaigns or when engaging clients directly. 

In B2B campaigns, the manufacturers of health equipment can inform healthcare institutions on what they have created and how it can be used. 

Healthcare facilities can inform their clients about various conditions, their symptoms, causes, and how they can be treated. In this regard, the campaign message is not only advertorial but informative as well. Players in the industry use various tactics to pass across their messages. They can use highly-optimized content on their sites as well as establish a social media presence.

Gambling

The lottery business is mostly dependent on online promotions. The industry applies multiple tactics to accomplish this task. For instance, the industry uses content marketing tools like Search Engine Optimization (SEO). The digital marketing strategy is designed to create brand loyalty and establish trust with clients.

Casinos apply various tactics to provide low deposit bonus and feature themselves as $5 minimum deposit casino operators or even lower to attract more players. These strategies also include retargeting, the use of online content, mobile apps, and the use of SEM and SEO tactics. The retargeting tactic entails following up on people who have visited your site with specific advertising messages. Content marketing tactic involves offering your target audience valuable and informative information.

Digital marketing techniques

You can apply multiple tactics to conduct your digital marketing campaigns. These include SEO, SEM, content marketing, social media promotions, and others.

Search engine optimization (SEO)

Search Engine Optimization is a strategy that is applied when you want your site to be ranked highly. The crawlers use various tactics to position your content. You need to understand how to write articles, blogs, and others to enjoy optimal ranking.

You can apply multiple tactics to attain high search engine ranking. These include the uses of specific keywords, writing compelling and entertaining content, and building links. Keywords are the search words and phrases that individuals apply when looking for products and services online. There are multiple tools that you use to know the keywords that people use in your industry. These tools can indicate the frequency with which people use those search terms and their volume. 

Search engine marketing (SEM)

The SEM tactic is designed to increase your Search Engine Results Page (SERP) using pay per click (PPC) techniques. In SEM, advertisers pay search engines like Google and Bing to display their adverts.

It’s vital to conduct some background research to understand the keywords that are used in your industry. You can use relevant keywords tools when doing your research. The SEM strategy applies various techniques and metrics to rank sites. These include the use of back end tools, web saturation tactics, and application of whois tools.

Social media marketing (SMM)

Social Media Marketing is an advertising tactic that entails the application of social media channels and e-mail techniques to promote your brand. Your main aim is to connect with audiences in social media with various kinds of information concerning your brand and the industry in general.

There are various social media platforms where you can find your audiences. These include Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn, and others.

Conclusion 

Digital marketing has become a critical aspect of any campaign strategy. If you want to succeed in your business, it’s essential to use the various kinds of digital marketing tools. These are highlighted and explained above.

COVID-20 fed up with waiting

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COVID-20 when is it my turn
COVID-20: When is it finally my turn?

COVID-20 is completely frustrated by having to wait for its turn to infect anyone.

“We’ve been waiting for months for our turn in the spotlight,” explained virus germ Lorraine Fisher, 34.

“But COVID-19 won’t get out of the way. It’s so unfair.”

The virus said there was a danger no-one would even notice it even once it did break free.

“19 has hogged the headlines and ruined it for us all. 18 and those before it had their chance and blew it.

“But now I’ve got such big shoes to fill. I’m worried I will be a disappointment.”

Good, old-fashioned entertainment back in vogue

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Boating at Thorpeness Meare
Boating at Thorpeness Meare

It’s funny how things go full circle. What were once popular pastime pursuits and ways of life went out of fashion as technology advanced. Computers and mobile phones, the internet, long-distance travel and a higher standard of living all changed how we spent our leisure time.

Now, after seemingly being lost in a haze of happy memories and cigarette smoke, many activities are very much back in fashion.

Much of that has to do with staycations, with Brits enjoying holidaying at home once more. Caravan and holiday homes are more high spec and trips to the seaside common.

No visit to the Suffolk coast is complete without some fish and chips. In Aldeburgh, the fish and chips are the stuff of legend, with queues stretching along the road.

When not at the beach, visitors and residents enjoy leisure activities and seaside competitions that had seemingly disappeared. Just as vinyl records went out of fashion, sales are rising again. And book sales are up despite Kindles seemingly making them redundant. Even bingo is enjoying something of a comeback.

Today’s bingo halls are a little different from what you might remember. Before, you imagine they were full of mature ladies enjoying their one night a week away from the family home. Now, they are attractive to all generations, male and female, and part of a big night out.

You can eat, drink and be merry in bingo halls rather than just sit marking off your numbers. The resurgence is not missed on online gaming companies, with online bingo also popular, bringing with it new types of bingo games.

There are many places you can now play bingo in Suffolk, including Felixstowe, Ipswich and Lowestoft. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know your two fat ladies from your two little ducks, you’ll soon pick it all up and have fun in the process.

Another popular pursuit that continues to defy modern attractions is boating. In Suffolk, we are blessed with options. For the most tranquil of all, there is Thorpeness Meare (pictured), where punts, canoes and rowing boats are available. Just over the Essex border is boating at Dedham on River Stour.

While sailing is ever-popular, so too are trips to the broads. The Norfolk Broads are famous, of course, but the broads do touch Suffolk, out of Lowestoft and the River Waveney.

Boating on the broads has been popular for generations. But modern-day craft make river trips far more comfortable than they used to be. Commercial enterprises now thrive alongside the waterways, including gorgeous pubs and plenty of places to eat.

While kids were seemingly lost in a world of computer games and mobile phones since the turn of the century, it’s good to see old-fashioned seaside arcades are back in popularity.

In Felixstowe, you can enjoy these arcades on the pier and seafront. While you will find all the latest slot machines, with video action, cinematic sound and other features, you will also find some of the games you used to enjoy.

Remember the coin pusher games, where you used to add a coin and hope it would then push a pile of cash over the edge for you to win? They are still there and just as much fun as when you were a kid.

And the “grabber” games where you operate a grabber and try to win a prize like a cuddly toy are as popular now as they ever were, with parents spending small fortunes to win a new toy for a pestering child.

Whether it is hankering after the “good old days” or the fact that old leisure pursuits like bingo or boating are great fun, there is much to enjoy in Suffolk rather than wasting hours on end surfing the internet.

You just have to get out there and enjoy it! Even large industrial sites like Sizewell B Power Station are a modern attraction on the Suffolk coast.

Spain bans millions of its citizens from holidaying in Leicester

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Leicester City Centre
Lovely Leicester: (Photo: Google)

Spain has responded to Britain closing the air bridge for holidaymakers by stopping its own citizens from holidaying in Leicester.

Millions of excited Spanish people had been looking forward to their annual break in Leicester.

But now the city’s Greggs, Primark and Wetherspoon pubs will remain quiet as millions of Spaniards stay at home.

Spanish tourism officer Senorita Lorrainez Fisher, 34, explained: “The British decision to close the air bridge to mainland Spain and the Balearics is an overreaction.

“We have lower deaths than the UK, so people are probably safer coming here than staying there.

“The Spanish Government now has no alternative than to hit back by preventing all our people from taking their regular holidays to Leicester.”

She said Spanish people were in love with Leicester’s balmy climate, allowing them to sunbathe by the water and party.

Leicester is in local lockdown unlike, for example, Ibiza, which has hardly any COVID-19 cases at all.

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