Sunday, March 22, 2026
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Container ships cut in size to prevent Suez Canal traffic jams

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World's smallest container ship
New, smaller container ships will prevent traffic jams

New laws will make huge container ships drastically smaller to prevent a repeat of the hold-ups in the Suez Canal this week.

The Evergreen ran aground in the Suez Canal, blocking it and creating the world’s longest traffic jam. Essential cargo is now being held up for days.

Ships have been getting larger by the year as greedy transport tycoons seek to make bigger profits.

But now maritime officials have had enough.

They are recommending new laws that allow each vessel to carry just one container, like the one pictured above arriving at the Port of Felixstowe this week.

It means ships can pass each other on the Suez Canal without issue and will improve delivery times between Asia and Europe, meaning your new 75-inch television on Amazon will arrive faster.

The chaos in the Suez Canal will never be repeated with smaller container ships
The chaos in the Suez Canal will never be repeated with smaller container ships

Freight logistics expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained: “These new boats are ideal for nipping across the oceans and delivering our goods fast and realiably.

“There will be no more hold-ups in the Suez Canal like we have seen this week – you can get 50 of these smaller ships side by side and there would still be enough room for more.”

International Maritime Law Group is now working on making the new ships sizes mandatory, and have indicated shipbuilders should start making more of them now.

“There is an opportunity for shipbuilding industries to make a name for themselves again.”

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Luckily, our brilliant Suffolk Gazette mugs are made right here in Suffolk and are not currently stuck in the queue at the Suez Canal. So, browse our full collection on the Dirty Old Goat mugs website, or buy direct from the items below.

Determining if you are financially ready to begin a business

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The journey toward entrepreneurship can be an exciting time, but if you do not have the proper financial support, you might face regrets.

Luckily, if you follow the right preparation steps, you’ll have more responsibility for your future. These steps can help you become financially stable and ready to proceed.

Save as Much as You Can

It’s often difficult to control your cash flow when beginning your company. Not all your clients might want to pay you, and it’s often hard to find customers in the first place. And whether purchasing equipment or getting licenses, you’ll often face unanticipated costs. Having some money set aside in your bank account is a great asset to help you through the tough times. It will give you peace of mind about your finances, eliminating stress.

You might consider refinancing your student loans, which creates a new payment. That way, you can free up more money to either invest in your business or put into your savings account. Using a student loan refinance calculator, you can know what to expect payments to be once you make repayments.

Several factors impact how much you’ll need to set aside. That includes the amount you plan on spending each month and whether you have any options to fall back on, like a partner with money. But in general, it’s best to save about three or more months of living expenses. If you can, you might try to build up a year’s worth.

Understanding Taxes

When determining if you are financially ready to open your company full-time, think about self-employment taxes. They’re much different from if you had a job with an employer since taxes are automatically deducted. A portion is paid for you. With a W-9 job, you just have to file a return at the end of each year, and you might get a small refund.

But with self-employment, you’ll need to file once every quarter, and you’ll have to pay somewhat higher taxes. Plus, you might need to pay extra taxes for the business. Do your research to understand the obligations and ensure that you have the funds to meet them. You might consider hiring an accountant to help you know the ins and outs of the process.

Considering Possible Customers

Think about whether you have enough potential work to help you transition full-time to running the new company. It is much easier to go full-time when you have enough customers ready to purchase your service or product. If you would need to do some marketing, you need to work that into the budget.

If you need to do any marketing, consider your rate of success and what your goals are. Do you hear back 25 percent of the time or only 5 percent? Think about the current clients and how much effort is necessary to scale up your operations. That way, you can make better timing decisions. For instance, perhaps you will decide to do more marketing before going full-time, so you have enough projects ready to start.

Winnie the Pooh arrested for indecent exposure

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Let it all hang out: Winnie the Pooh with no pants or trousers
Let it all hang out: Winnie the Pooh

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Children’s entertainer Winnie the Pooh was behind bars last night for refusing to wear any underwear or trousers.

The bear always sports a small red tee-shirt but stubbornly wanders around with nothing underneath.

Police were called by concerned parents who feared the book, film and television star was trying to lure children in some kind of honeypot trap.

Officers detained Winnie the Pooh at his home in Hundred Acre Wood near Saxmundham, Suffolk at 4.30pm yesterday after reports he had gone to the Co-Op wearing nothing but his tight red shirt.

Suffolk police spokesperson Sergeant Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We can confirm we arrested a bear for indecent exposure.

“He is currently in police custody and is expected to appear before magistrates in the morning.”

However, naturists were furious about the arrest. Steve Walshe, 43, said: “Winnie the Pooh should be allowed to let it all hang out.

“It’s only natural.”

It is thought Winnie the Pooh fans couldn’t care less about his lack of underpants. They love buying Winnie the Pooh gear on Amazon.

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Mother of God! Supt Hastings becomes a priest called Father Ted

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Father Ted: Supt Ted Hastings’ new life

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Superintendent Ted Hastings has left AC 12 and become a priest in the new series of Line of Duty, we can reveal.

Supt Hastings is so gutted at being under suspicion in the gripping crime drama that he leaves his glittering career behind and is now known as Father Ted.

Viewers watch aghast as the Ulsterman exclaims: “Mother of God! I told you I was innocent, so I did.”

He then walks out of the station and the scene cuts to him relaxing in his new parish rectory in a village near Bury St Edmunds in Suffolk.

There he tends to the needs of an elderly flock and helps out at local old folks homes.

Television critic Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Nobody saw this coming. Everyone assumes Supt Hastings is ‘H’, the high-ranking police officer leading an organised crime gang.

“But there is a huge twist because he runs off to the church and now enjoys a new Godly life in rural Suffolk, where he is known as Father Ted.”

Viewers can see it act out for themselves in the cliffhanger series on BBC1. Maybe buy a massive new 75-inch television from Amazon to enjoy it all the more.

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Cows produce more milk listening to Ed Sheeran songs

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A Suffolk farmer has revealed his dairy herd produces 50% more milk if he plays Ed Sheeran music to them. It’s their favourite moosic.

Potato and dairy farmer Maurice Piper says his cows love Ed Sheeran songs so much that milk production has rocketed.

“I don’t know why it is but they love Ed Sheeran, and his music plays on a loop in the dairy shed at milking time.

“I personally can’t stand his music. But if it increases my profits, who am I to argue?”

Mr Piper said the Ed Sheeran revelation was discovered by accident.

“One of my farmhands, Angus Hereford was supervising the milking one day when he had his iPhone music on the speaker, playing Ed Sheeran’s new album.

“The cows ears pricked up and you could see more milk coming out straight away.

“We experimented with other music. from classical and country music to rap, but nothing else worked. In fact, we tried heavy metal and it had the opposite effect – production went down.”

Mr Piper and his team have now installed speakers in the milking shed so that each of his cows can hear their favourite Ed Sheeran songs, which the team purchase on Amazon.

But staff now wear headphones because they are udderly fed-up listening to Sheeran, who lives just 10 miles away from Mr Piper’s farm near Woodbridge in Suffolk.

Ed Sheeran’s PR person Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Ed’s song’s appeal to everyone but we wouldn’t want to milk it.”

Here are some more moosical stars we think cows would enjoy:

  • Cream
  • Full Fatboy Slim
  • Muse
  • Four Bottle Tops
  • Supergrass
  • The Moove
  • Simply Red Poll

First mobile phone sold in Norfolk

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First mobile phone in Norfolk
Norfolk’s first mobile phone was sold this week

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Hi-tech wizardry came to Norfolk this week when the first mobile telephone was sold to a lucky customer in Downham Market.

The new-fangled device is fully mobile, as a twirly extending cord from the handset means you can now use it standing three feet away from the main unit.

Norfolk people are celebrating being the first in the country to experience mobile telephones, and claim other parts of the country are bound to follow suit.

However, the rest of the country is smarter and looks for hi-tech phones from places like Amazon.

The first device was purchased by turnip smallholder Bubba Spuckler, who share his home with his sister and their eight children.

“This is revolutionary and means I can use the telephone sitting down or standing up. And amazingly I can now be two or three steps away from the hall table and STILL use it.

“This will change our lives for ever.”

Suffolk telephone sales specialist Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We expect to sell many of these units in Norfolk.

“People there like to think they are ahead of the curve, so who are we to argue?”

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Durability of MDF Furniture

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The beauty and durability of natural wood components are not debatable. Regardless of the wood material used, whether maple or mahogany, there are endless options in regard to wood furniture.

On the other spectrum, we have MDF board furniture; a great alternative for solid wood components. MDF is manufactured from reprocessed fibre material that is compacted under extreme temperature with resin. MDF elements are less costly and more eco-friendly alternative for natural wood furniture.

Even though the durability of MDF furniture cannot be compared with that of solid wood, there is more that this engineered wood can offer.

What is MDF?

While you might have heard or even used MDF, you might not know exactly what this construction material is. It is a prevalent material for DIY and building projects, yet very misunderstood, especially when it comes to quality. So, what is MDF?

MDF are initials for Medium-density fibreboard. It is a prevalent material utilized in moulding, cabinetry and furniture making. It is an exceptionally flexible and inexpensive material, and this makes it an excellent option for various applications. It can be cut, shaped and painted to make it suitable for decorative projects.

MDF is obtained from fine wood chippings pressed together with a resin such as glue under extremely high pressure and temperature. The resulting product is a robust sheet material that is effortless to work with.

How to choose MDF?

To make an informed decision when choosing MDF, you need to be well conversant about its advantages and disadvantages. Take a look.

Advantages of MDF

  • Cost – the main constituents of MDF are castoff materials such as wood chippings. This directly affects the cost of MDF, which is relatively lower than that of real wood.
  • Size selection – there are varied MDF sizes, ranging from a thickness of 2mm to 60mm. With these diverse thicknesses, you can get the wood thickness for specific load-bearing applications.
  • Smooth surface – during the MDF manufacturing, the materials are highly pressed together to obtain flush and smooth boards. This makes it suitable for painting or applying veneers.
  • Consistent material – unlike solid wood, MDF boards luck directional grains, which gives it consistency. This property makes it ideal for cutting into intricate details without splinting.
  • Minimal or no warping concerns – MDF is less affected by weather fluctuations. It uniformly expands and contracts without grain opposition.

However, there are some MDF cons you ought to be aware of, such as:

  • Not so attractive material – the astounding beauty of real wood or plywood is incomparable with the appearance of MDF. MDF lacks most elements present in real wood.
  • Constraints on the finish – unless you intend to paint your furniture, it is not advisable to opt for MDF. It soaks the liquid and doesn’t give the right colour effect.
  • MDF absorbs moisture – since it is engineered from many fine fibres, MDF takes in water easily, making it swell and compromise its structural integrity.
  • Not durable as solid wood – MDF board furniture durability is comparatively low to real wood furniture. The absence of directional grains means its strength is compromised. To make MDF furniture strong, their frames have to be made of un-engineered material such as wood.
  • Contains VOC’s – the glue used in MDF contains formaldehyde. During sanding, the dust of this chemical is released, and prolonged exposure to it could lead to health issues such as throat and lung cancer.

Signs a home’s infested

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When it comes to pests, you should first know that different pests leave different telltale signs of their presence. Fortunately, the amount of “clues” you see can often help you get a general idea of how severe a pest problem is.

Here are the most common signs of presence for the different pests and where should you check for them:

1. Mice and rats

Both species leave similar signs of the presence and prefer to make their nests close to food sources:

  • You can check utility rooms, the attic, and the basement for any clues such as droppings in the corners of those rooms. Additionally, check the kitchen cabinets, cupboards and drawers as well.
  • Rodents also leave dirty trails where they frequently pass by, which is near any pipework, near walls and wall cavities.
  • Mice and rats both leave gnaw marks on furniture and wood supporting pillars – this is because their teeth grow constantly so they need to file them down. If the homeowner that sells the property has got rid of all the other traces, it will not be the case with this one.

Rats and mice are nocturnal animals, so if you notice any sightings during daylight, it means that the colony is booming. The good news is that mice don’t live alongside rats because the latter preys upon the smaller rodent. So if the property has a rodent problem, at least it’ll be just one type of rodent to deal with. You could check CountryLiving’s ideas on “How to get rid of mice in your home” for more information and how to deal with rodents by yourself!

2. Bed bugs

You can usually find them or traces of them around and on beds and upholstered furniture – that’s because bed bugs live close to a food source (a human being) so that they could feed at night. Check the mattress and the bed frame for actual bugs, dead or alive, their eggs or blackish spots – they leave those after a meal and are actually blood spots. These same places can be checked for any signs of bed bug eggs, which are no bigger than a rice grain and whitish. Bed bug infestations usually take a couple of visits from an exterminator in order to get rid of the entire colony – that’s because he needs to treat the infestation in the different stages. If you happen to have bed bug bites, you can check NetDoctor’s detailed guide on how to recognise and treat them!

3. Moles

Some owners find moles useful because they feed with insects, pests and digging helps them to aerate the soil. However, many believe that the damage caused by moles on their lawns outweighs all the benefits they provide. If there any conical mounds of soil, these would be the entrances that are blocked and are not easily visible. Other traces are irregular paths or ridges on pushed soil caused by tunnelling. It’s good to keep in mind that moles can be potentially dangerous, as one has recently been spotted terrorizing Suffolk countryside!

4. Cockroaches

The key indicator of cockroach infestation is the actual presence of live and dead specimens. You can usually find them beneath the sink area, in countertops, near pipes and in bathrooms and basements. Other indicators of their presence are shell cases and faecal matter and let’s not forget the smell – cockroaches give off a strong, oily scent which only becomes stronger with the growth of the infestation. Luckily, cockroach infestations are easy to deal with – general property fumigation is enough to solve the problem with the entire population. So, one of the most efficient ways to protect yourself and your family is to contact a professional cockroach exterminator. They know the best solution to eliminate unbeatable pests.

5. Woodworms

Check the woodwork around the property and look for tiny holes in the wood’s surface – wood-boring beetles leave openings surrounded with sawdust when they’re exiting the timber. The problem with woodworms is that if you see holes, it means that the infestation has already spread because adult beetles get to the surface only to find a mate and close the cycle so there will already be some damage to the timber.

Can all pest problems be eradicated?

Most of them, yes. Woodworm problems, in particular, can be hard to deal with and if the infestation is severe and the structure of the building has already been compromised, you’ll need to replace the wood. A woodworm specialist will tell if there’s something that can be done about it in terms of treatment.