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British want the blood of the Irish

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British want the blood of the Irish
British want the blood of the Irish

NHS urged Irish people living in Britain to donate blood.

By Phil Ward, Health Correspondent

’Irish blood, English heart, this I’m made of.’ So sang pop singer, Morrissey in his 2004 song of similar name. Now, after a plea by the NHS for more Irish blood donors, all Brits may soon be singing from the same hymn sheet.

As well as having a slightly greenish hue, Irish blood is a greater source of O+ , B+ and A- blood types than British blood as a whole. In order to reach as many potential Irish donors as possible, the NHS states on it’s website, in traditional Gaelic, “Nigh listen ‘ear al’ yer Oirish livin’ here on de Sasanach mainlan’. We oirgently nade yisser blud ter save de loives av Sasanach people, to be sure. If yer visit yisser local ‘ospital at de earliest opportunity an’ troi not ter pop into de battle cruiser on de way, dad’t be grand. Tanks-a-million, NHS Britain.”

Guinness not particularly high in iron

Despite some concerns that the whiskey content of Irish blood might make it unusable or dangerous to the generally less inebriated people of mainland Britain, the NHS is prepared to take the risk. Others say that the equally high content of Guinness in Irish blood, with its 0.3mg of iron per pint, makes it even more desirable.

To find out more, we spoke to a patient who had recently received a transfusion of Irish blood at West Suffolk Hospital after slicing off her finger opening a tin of Chicken KiteKat cat food (100g £0.85 appyshop.co.uk/). Through gritted teeth, bleary-eyed Englishwoman, Janice Belfield told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE, “OoooW! It bloody hurts, hic! Was I skeptical about having, hic! Irish blood? Hmmm. Well, you listen to me, hic! We’ve all heard the jokes and, hic! It does make you wonder if it’s going to affect your intelligence OKAY, but they are just jokes, right? Hic!”

Waiting in vein

Mrs Bellfield, who had had to wait twelve hours for her transfusion, seemed a little worse for wear after her experience, stumbling around and singing rebel freedom songs. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the shock of her injury or the alcohol content of the blood transfusion, so I asked her if she was feeling OK. “Feck off! In Tyrone, Armagh, an’ Derry, Fermanagh an’ from down, de norn gale is risin’ ter brin’ down de crown, hic! Once more de auld war cry, an’ de blud runnin’ hoi, we’ll scrap ter free Oirlan’, for today we may doi, hic! De day av de slaver ‘ill no longer be, if Gaels stan’ unoited, they’ll alwus be free! Oirlan’ unoited, Gaelic an’ free, lan’ av me birth, in freedom we’ll be!

Euro Millions and Beyond: Exploring the World of European Lotteries

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Euro Millions and Beyond: Exploring the World of European Lotteries

European lotteries have become a favorite pastime for people all over the world, including India. These lotteries offer a chance to win big jackpots and exciting prizes. The Euro Millions Lottery is one of the most popular and prestigious lotteries in Europe. It’s known for its massive jackpots and thrilling gameplay. With its introduction in India, Indian players can now experience the excitement and opportunities that the Euro Millions Lottery brings. This article will provide a step-by-step guide on how to play european lottery online. We will also share tips and strategies to enhance your chances of winning.

Understanding European Lotteries

European lotteries have been around for a long time and have played an important role in society. They are games where people buy tickets and hope to win prizes in a random draw. In Europe, there are many different lotteries to choose from. One well-known lottery is called Euro Millions, which is played in multiple countries and offers huge jackpots. Each European country also has its own national lottery with its own rules and prizes. Some lotteries involve picking numbers, while others require guessing outcomes or finding hidden symbols. European lotteries offer a variety of games to suit different preferences. By learning about these lotteries, players can explore a world of possibilities and exciting games to play.

Euro Millions: The Flagship European Lottery

Euro Millions is one of the most famous European lotteries, loved by players from many countries. It was started in 2004 with the goal of creating a lottery that brings together people from different nations and offers huge prizes. To play Euro Millions, you need to pick five numbers between 1 and 50, and two additional numbers called Lucky Stars between 1 and 12. The draw happens once a week, and people wait anxiously to see if they’ve won. Euro Millions is known for its gigantic jackpots, sometimes reaching hundreds of millions of euros. It’s a lottery that captures people’s imaginations and makes them dream big. Not only does Euro Millions have the main jackpot, but it also has other prizes for matching different numbers.

Other Noteworthy European Lotteries

Apart from Euro Millions, there are other European lotteries that are worth mentioning because they offer unique gameplay and exciting prizes. One of them is Euro Jackpot, which has become popular across Europe. In Euro Jackpot, players choose five numbers between 1 and 50 and two Euro numbers between 1 and 10. It has a great prize structure and favorable odds, making it a thrilling lottery to play. Another notable lottery is SuperEnalotto, which comes from Italy. SuperEnalotto is known for its huge jackpots. To play, participants select six numbers from 1 to 90. The jackpots can grow to incredible amounts, and the excitement builds with each rollover. Lastly, there’s La Primitiva, which is from Spain. To play La Primitiva, players choose six numbers between 1 and 49, along with a Reintegro number. It offers various prize categories and regular draws, making it an exciting lottery option.

Tips and Strategies for Maximizing Your Chances

If you want to increase your chances of winning European lotteries, there are some practical tips and strategies to keep in mind. One important tip is to consider different number selection techniques. While lottery draws are random, some players believe in choosing numbers based on special dates like birthdays, lucky numbers, or patterns they notice. Another helpful strategy is frequency analysis, which involves looking at numbers that have appeared more often in previous draws. It’s also important to play responsibly by setting a budget for buying tickets and sticking to it. Remember, playing the lottery is meant to be fun, and it’s important to only spend what you can afford. It’s also essential to manage your expectations and understand that winning is never guaranteed.

Final Thoughts

Playing European lotteries is an exciting adventure that brings joy, anticipation, and the possibility of life-changing experiences. The huge jackpots and unique games make European lotteries incredibly thrilling. Participating in these lotteries can fill your heart with hope and excitement. So, enjoy the thrill, play responsibly, and dream big as you explore the world of European lotteries. You never know, the next draw could be the moment that changes your life forever.

Traveling to Odibets: How to Join

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Traveling to Odibets: How to Join
Traveling to Odibets: How to Join

Have you ever heard of Odibets? We bet you have.

This online gaming platform is an all-time favorite of many players in Kenya. And if you start using it, it will become yours too.

So that you can taste all the sweets of gambling, weߴll reveal the cards on Odibets registration via SMS and other details about joining the bookmaker.

Do I Have to Register at All?

Yes, you do, and here is why.

Odibets provides all the necessary conditions for safe, profitable, and convenient wagering. What you get is a wide choice of sporting events with numerous betting markets and some of the best odds in the region.

Add fast and secure payments, a state-of-the-art mobile app, and mouthwatering bonuses—that sounds like a perfect place to bet.

We have compiled the bookieߴs brief portrait in the table below for clarity.

Foundation year2018
Brand ownerKareco Holdings Limited
License No.0000410
Sports availableOver 50, including soccer, rugby, tennis, cricket, basketball, etc.
Casino gamesSlots, tables, drops & winds, Aviator, live-dealer games, etc.
EsportseSoccer, Counter-Strike, League of Legends
PromotionsFirst Deposit, Free Bet, Cash Back, Happy Hour, etc.
PaymentsM-PESA Kenya
Mobile appODI Android App
JackpotsOmoka JP, Laki Tatu JP, Midweek JP, Mega JP

How to Join Odibets on the Website

You can join all this gambling splendor in two ways—through the platform and via SMS. Both of them will need your mobile phone at hand. The explicit instructions are below.

Online Registration

  1. Enter “odibets.com” in your desktop or mobile deviceߴs browser.
  2. Click or tap the yellow join button to open the online signup form.
  3. Type in your phone number and password; a referral code is optional.
  4. Hit “Create Account” and сheck the SMS sent to your phone number.
  5. Input the code you received and click the “Activate Account” button.

Your login details are your mobile number and the password created during registration. Hopefully, youߴll remember the password so the bookieߴs door never closes.

SMS Registration

  1. Text “ODI” to 29680 and receive a confirmation to enter your PIN/password.
  2. SMS the word “Password” to 29680 and get a reply on successful registration.

How to Register in the App

Android owners can rejoice as Odibets offers an excellent mobile application—weightless and lightning-quick.

If your Android version is at least 4.4 and your mobile phone has 2.8MB of free space, you can download the ODI app directly from the site.

After downloading and installing, you can move on to create an account.

The signup procedure in the app is no different from the registration on the site: just use your phone number to open and activate your account.

Compliments of the Bookmaker

Odibets rushes to thank and reward all new customers, giving them a free bet as a welcome bonus.

You can use your risk-free bet in 1X2 betting on the freebet game of the day.

As your bonus free bet succeeds, you get the winnings credited to your account and can use them to place further stakes. If your free bet earnings exceed 100 KES, you can withdraw them.

You can pull out funds online from the Odibets site or app or via SMS by texting “W#Amount” to 29680.

What Is Next After Registration?

And here all the fun begins. You only need to top up your balance and start playing.

How to Deposit Funds

The sportsbook collaborates with M-PESA—Kenyaߴs mobile payment leader— to ensure that all cash transactions on the platform run like clockwork.

To put money into your Odibets account, you need to

  1. Open the M-PESA app on your mobile.
  2. Enter “290680” as the pay bill number.
  3. Type in “ODI” as the account number.
  4. Specify the amount you wish to deposit.
  5. Insert your M-PESA PIN for confirmation.

Thatߴs it. Youߴre good to go!

How to Start Wagering

If you prefer SMS betting, text “ODI” to 29680 and then send your forecast to the same short code with a stake of 1 KES to 50,000 KES.

Or head for the Odibets website or mobile application and follow these instructions:

  1. Sign in with your phone number and password.
  2. Explore the available sports, events, and teams.
  3. Add any number of games up to 30 to your betslip.
  4. Enter the stake amount and place your wager.

You can monitor all your bets in the “My Bets” section and in “Bet History,” which shows all your activities on the platform, including pay-ins, payouts, and wagers. 

Final Thoughts

As you can see, everything is simple and easy with Odibets: once you put 29680 in your contact list, you can sign up and gamble without even going to the website or the app.

The company has prepared a lot of gaming options and encouraging bonuses, so you will definitely enjoy the time spent with them.

Meanwhile, our Odibets journey has come to an end; thank you for joining us. And donߴt forget to join the bookie as well ?

Morrisinghs (formerly Singhsbury’s) ‘reiterates special offer’

The Editor
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Morrisinghs (formerly Singhsbury’s) ‘reiterates special offer’
Morrisinghs (formerly Singhsbury’s) ‘reiterates special offer’

Suffolk supermarket, Singhsbury’s, owned and managed by local trader, Barry Singh (45) is in the news again following a controversial ‘not special offer’ it made on Unilever’s ‘Pot Noodle Champion Chicken Lost The Pot Noodle’.

‘Lost The Pot’ (which is intended as a pun on ‘lost the plot’ i.e. Unilever has gone bonkers) Pot Noodles are basically Pot Noodles – without the pot. Considering the whole purpose and appeal of Pot Noodle is that you can have a quick, unhealthy snack (‘super tasty’, ‘heav-hen-ly delicious’ –  according to the official blurb), without the need to do the dishes afterwards, it is possible that Unilever has indeed ‘lost the pot.’

Product does not contain peas

With the new noodle product (‘A quick, filling and tasty noodle dish ready in just 5 minutes—ahhh, peas and quiet’ – according to the official blurb) leaving consumers cold, no wonder supermarketeer, Singh is offering the starchy, dehydrated, pea-less noodles for the new knockdown, special offer price of 50p, a reduction of 0p on its former price of… 50p. Yes, that’s right, the special offer discount on all Lost The Pot products at Singhsbury’s is… nothing.

This reporter asked Mr Singh what he was playing at.

“First of all, we are not called Singhsbury’s anymore. We haven’t been called Singhsbury’s since 2017. We are called Morrisinghs. Look… it says it outside.”

“Yes, OK, but what about the not-very-special offer on the unpotted noodles?”

“But do you promise you will get the shop name right in the article?”

“Yes.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, yes, promise. Now… the shit offer?”

“The way I see it… it is a reiteration.”

“A reiteration?”

“Yes. A reiteration of the previous special offer. If it was special before – which it was – most of the big superstores do these shitty noodles for 60 or 70p, then the price of 50p is still special now, right? What is not special about it now, that was special about it before. Eh? You tell me.”

“Err? Nothing I suppose.”

Disgruntled bouncer planted ‘fake’ bomb to make himself look like a hero

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Disgruntled bouncer planted ‘fake’ bomb to make himself look like a hero
Disgruntled bouncer planted ‘fake’ bomb to make himself look like a hero

A disgruntled bouncer working at a Wetherspoons pub planted a fake bomb to make himself look like a hero.

Nellis Oliphant – ‘Nellie the elephant’ to his friends, built the fake explosive device out of an empty box of Weetabix, horse manure, some dried-up plasticine, and an old wind-up alarm clock that hadn’t told the correct time since 1984.

Bi-polar bear

Oliphant, 28 from Ipswich, worked at the popular Cricketers pub in Crown Street Ipswich as a bouncer (fake hero) on Friday and Saturday nights. Colleagues say he was a quiet, friendly ‘bear’ of a man apart from when he descended into violent rages at the most insignificant transgression that might occur in the pub – such as a diner dropping a pea on the carpet, or a punter not placing his glass at the epicenter of a beer mat.

Bouncer in the court

Representing the crown, barrister John William Fisher Beaumont III told those gathered at Ipswich crown court that ‘Nutty Nellie’ allegedly placed the hoax bomb inside a toilet bowl in the gents’ toilets while he pretended to relieve himself at about 9 pm last Friday night. According to Beaumont III, Oliphant had intended to return to the lav later that evening and pretend to ‘discover’ the bomb – albeit fake – and thus be considered a hero, hoping to gain from associated benefits such as a possible pay rise, his photo in the local paper (he got than anyway) and guaranteed popularity with the local fat slags from the pub.

Unfortunately for him, the manic-depressive doorman’s plan went to shit when he returned to the gents’ toilet later that evening. By pure chance, the device that he had manufactured at home the previous weekend was actually a functioning explosive device. The mix of horse shit and plasticine was a bomb-making recipe widely used by the Liliputian Freedom Army (LFA) during the 1970s when it carried a series of attacks on the British mainland in the cause of equal rights for tiny people.

Singed bollocks

In court, Oliphant admitted that he had momentarily sat down on the toilet to ready himself for the final stage of his ruse, when the device exploded violently up his arse. In the chaos which followed, Oliphant was dragged out of the gents’ toilet and stretched out on the floor of the pub where colleagues attempted to extinguish the pubic inferno that had engulfed his arse crack and ball bags. Nellis was subsequently arrested when it was discovered that the horse manure used in the bomb was the same variety used at the stables his mum mucked out every other Monday and Wednesday.

The case continues.

Glasgow divided on council’s sex initiative. Some in, some out

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Glasgow divided on council’s sex initiative. Some in, some out
Glasgow divided on council’s sex initiative

First, it was Cumbria, then Wiltshire, then Exeter, now, the over-sexed, working-class FILTH of Glasgow are also using sidewalk ’Sin Bins’ to cover their trail of lewd behaviour.

Regular readers of the SUFFOLK GAZETTE will recall how Cumbria County Council ‘rubbed cum in our faces’ as it renamed its local places of interest with FILTHY, SEX-related names. Then, it was Wiltshire Council, South West England, which renamed a local beauty spot ‘Wilsford cum Lake’ in a bid to attract DISGUSTING tourists, then the backward people of Exeter in Devon joined the bandwagon of FILTH by introducing sidewalk cum bins for locals to ejaculate into! DISGUSTING!!

Now, Glasgow, a city already known for being inhabited by DIRTY, UNEDUCATED, LOW-LIFE SCUM has descended further into the abyss of MORAL DECLINE with the introduction of municipal cum bins.

Tartan tarts

Also used by local sex workers (huirs) to dispose of used condoms, the ‘Sin Bins’ as they have been dubbed by locals have caused uproar in the local community – especially among more conservative/nationalist senior citizens.

Glasgow sex innovation

Local resident, Jock Strap, chair of the Glasgow chapter of the campaign group Residents Against Everything (RAGE) told this reporter “Ah dah ken whit th’ warld is comin’ tae. Aw ah want is tae be able tae eat mah shortcake, stroke mah red beard, bevvy mah Mcewans, an’ listen tae mah Rod Stewart graphite loons withit havin’ other people’s cum rubbed in mah coopon. is ‘at tay much tae ask?”

Local habitual gambler and long-time alcoholic, Douglas Blair, is more positive on the council’s spermicidal innovation. He told me “Ah, aye flin’ mah cum in th’ sin bin efter i’ve hud a causey wenk. Whaur else ur ye supposed tae pit it?” At least I think that’s what he said?

So there we have it. The people of Glasgow (sex) split right down the middle on the issue of the new sidewalk ‘Sin Bins’.

Next Week! Read about Glasgow City Council’s new ‘In Glasgow, we bin our GUM’ campaign to rid its streets of unsightly chewing gum.

New fast food delivery service for social media addicts opens in Suffolk

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New fast food delivery service for social media addicts opens in Suffolk

A new take-away restaurant aimed at social media addicts has opened its doors to customers in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.

‘Facefood’ fast food on Risbygate Street, caters to those customers who can’t bear to be away from their ‘socials’ for more than thirty seconds. The novel idea is the latest creation of Barry Singh, the Suffolk grocery entrepreneur behind retail outlets, Singhsbury’s and Morrisinghs.

Deliveree

I caught up with Barry as he was unloading some halal meat from the back of a van parked outside the restaurant, and asked him what was it all about?

“Hey, how you doin’, buddy?” said Barry as he slung the carcus of a dead cow over his shoulder. “Welcome to facefood. It’s my new top fast food shop serving top quality fast food to youngsters who live fast on the internet, innit?”

I asked Baz how it worked. “So, you can either come in or order online. If you want to order online just send us a friend request on facebook and tell us what you want. The menu is on the wall of our facebook page. Delivery will be in under 30 minutes. The best thing is you can chat or message your friends on facebook while you wait for delivery. Facebook. Facefood. Makes sense, innit?”

So how is that any different to an other online food order?

“It’s on facebook. Come inside and I’ll show you what else we have…”

Short circuit

As I entered the shop I noticed that the counter was only six inches from the ground and the menus were stuck to the floor. I asked Bazza why?

“It’s so when you come in you don’t have to lift your head up from your phone to make an order. You can keep using facebook the whole time. Facebook. Facefood.”

Dishes at Facefood include; Chicken megabytes, Quarter-pounder Mark Zuckerburger and microchips, Virtual Kebab, 12” Pizza with tomato database and choice of laptoppings, and Eton Messenger.

Which College Football Teams could surprise many in 2024?

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Which College Football Teams could surprise many in 2024?
Which College Football Teams could surprise many in 2024?

The Georgia Bulldogs maintained their impressive form in 2022 to make it two seasons on the trot. With the 2023 season ready to start on August 26, each college is concluding all its final points on its off-season to-do list.

With the season approaching the college football lines highlight those who are the most likely to challenge Georgia this year, along with who could be an intriguing outside option.

University of Southern California Trojans

With Heisman Trophy winner Caleb Williams as their foundation block, USC have an elite offense which will punish defenses across the country. His weapons on offense look to have been upgraded further with the transfer of Dorian Singer from Arizona State. Singer started 11 of 12 games with 66 receptions for a Pac-12 leading 1,105 yards and six touchdowns.

Questions remain on their abilities on defense. Lincoln Riley took this flawed side to the doorstep of the CFP and the team are looking for a stronger year on defense with additions like linebacker Mason Cobb from Oklahoma State and defensive lineman Anthony Lucas.

With the upgrade at defense, we could well see a team competing with sides like the Georgia Bulldogs as long as this defense steps up to a higher level.

Florida State Seminoles

The Seminoles are on the rise and have quality on both sides of the ball. They are a more balanced side than with the Trojans were last year, though lacked a Caleb Williams.

It’s been 9 years since their last ACC win but come up against a number of weakened sides in their schedule, on paper at least. Quarterback Jordan Travis and wide receiver Johnny Wilson need to form a dangerous partnership in a group which continued to upgrade in preparation for this season.

With more depth across the roster in key areas, Mike Norvell vision of big plays and high production appear to be being met and he has the group behind him to challenge deep into the new season.

Oregon Ducks

There has been a lot of hard working going into recruitment over the past few years in Oregon which has shown no sign of slowing down, even with the change in head coach from Mario Cristobal to Dan Lanning in December 2021.

Eleven ESPN 300 players were signed in 2023, most notably wide receivers Jurrion Dickey and Ashton Cozart. Oregon look set on paper to be one of the most exciting teams in the West while likely not being the Pac-12 favorites.  

Their defense missed the top 25 in the country last year though not by much, and with Lanning making more of an impression on his team, the defense should keep improving. Their immediate future looks bright, and they continue to put themselves out in front with Michael Van Buren at quarterback already agreed for 2024.

Penn State Nittany Lions

A Big Ten is seven years in the past now, but Penn State are now coming off an 11-win season. Their coach James Franklin is also receiving the support in the background he has been looking for and their recruitment is looking more improved also.

Drew Allar looks set to be the quarterback for the next few seasons as the ESPN 5st overall talent in 2022 and the 19-year-old has had his year as back-up to bed himself in and look to break out in 2023. With Nicholas Singleton and Kaytron Allen at running back for the next two years, the ground attack looks strong also with the two combining for 1,928 rushing yards and 22 touchdowns in 2022.

Manny Diaz is taking control of the defense for a second year which looks set to keep on improving from a group which saw national awards candidates Abdul Carter and Curtis Jacobs lead a linebacker depth chart full of non-seniors.

Washington Huskies

Kalen DeBoer has begun his ear as the Huskies coach well and looks set to keep to pushing. Heisman Trophy candidate Michael Penix Jr. is a huge part of this positive feeling as he leads an offense which will be feared by any defense they come up against.

Bringing in recruits with Penix Jr. as the quarterback has been made a lot easier. The quarterback threw to 1,000-yard receivers Rome Odunze and Jalen McMillan and any future recruits at wide receiver, tight end, or even a receiving running back, will know they will be given every opportunity to shine.

Their defense was by no means the best, but it did finish strongly in 2022. They had some standout like Bralen Trice and there is a lot of hope for Edefuan Ulofoshio in the linebacker role.

With a lot of players in their last year as seniors, the long-term success of this team is still under question, but they will go out with a big fight in 2023.

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