History will be made in Norfolk as the city gets ready to host their first ever Formula 1 speed racing competition with Sports Tractors
The drivers will be using Sports Tractors and will not be humans but monkeys, sloths, and gorillas.
The heavy weight will be the gorillas. The light weight will be the monkeys. The feather weight will be the sloths
Here is the best part, the animals will have to snort 3 lines of cocaine before getting behind the wheel. And every 5 minutes thereafter during every pit stop, they have to snort 1 line until the race is over.
Norfolk F1 ticket price breakdown:
General admission tickets will be £50. Front row seats and the more exclusive seats will start at £150.
VIP will be £1,000. Part of the VIP package includes free round trip to the event, free bottle service, great seats on the balcony, free strippers, and betting privileges.
If any of the drivers pee their suits during the race, they are disqualified.
There are rumours that the cast of Fast and Furious will make an appearance. As well as the creators of Mario Kart, Twisted Metal, and Transformers.
First place will get a sports tractor vehicle manufactured by Bugatti.
Second place will get a sports tractor vehicle manufactured by Ferrari or Lamborghini.
Third place will get a girly girl barbie themed regular bicycle.
All first, second, and third place will get a lifetime supply of bananas and free maintenance on their vehicles.
Expert’s opinion on Sports Tractors racing:
Lorraine Fisher, 34, feels confident that her gorilla Henry will win. She said, “Henry has been doing 1000 pull ups, 800 sit ups, racing with his eyes closed every single day for the last 6 years. He is going to win by a landslide.”
Mr. Walsh who is racing his monkey said, “My monkey Jimmy has been fighting a different UFC fighter everyday. He also drinks gasoline for breakfast and diesel for dinner. Nobody will beat Jimmy. Let’s get it!”
Peter Grimes who is racing Troubadour the Sloth said this, “My troubadour has been marinating in cocaine for the past 5 years. He has been eating, sleeping and talking F1 since he was 3 days old. Feel sorry for the little girls that will be racing against us”
The BBC will stream the event on December 39th 2022.