Friday, June 7, 2024

‘Dead leopard’ in road was mutton

‘Dead leopard’ in road was mutton

WHERESTEAD, SUFFOLK – What was initially believed to be a tragic case of a Dead leopard on the A14 near Wherstead. That turned out to be nothing more than a fashion faux pas of epic proportions.

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Authorities were called to the scene after reports of a “dead leopard” sprawled across the road. Causing traffic chaos as bemused commuters slowed down to witness the supposed wildlife tragedy.

Mutton Dressed as Leopard

As wildlife experts arrived at the scene. It became clear that this wasn’t a case of a wild cat adventure gone awry. Upon closer examination, they determined that the “leopard” was, in fact,.a grotty and undoubtedly synthetic leopard-print coat,. likely abandoned by some old tart after getting her rocks off behind the bushes on the side of the road.

The Dead Leopard

Police on the scene were overhead mocking the impeccable craftsmanship of the coat. Suggesting it might find a place in the “endangered fashion” exhibit at Colchester Zoo. One officer was seen pretending to call in the incident on his walkie-talkie with the words.” Situation under control sarge – fashion victim, not actual victim.”

Suffolk Constabulary is appealing for information concerning the owner of the soiled, gravel-encrusted garment.

Are you the skanky old trollop who left her coat on the A14? Please email the SUFFOLK GAZETTE newsdesk and leave your phone number for ‘James’.

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