Thursday, October 6, 2022

You can’t slurry love

EXCLUSIVE
By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

A couple were arrested after being caught romping naked in a farmer’s slurry pit.

Dog walkers using a footpath at the farm near Framlingham spotted the filthy pair and called the cops.

Officers found the lovers, named locally as Phil Collins and Mary-Beth Spuckler, in a “heightened state of excitement” and oblivious to anything else around them.

When quizzed, they revealed they had a fetish for farmyard smells and had often stripped off to make love in the slurry pit without the farmer’s knowledge.

A police insider said: “Because their actions were in sight of a footpath, they were told they were outraging public decency.

“However, they were extremely embarrassed and apologetic and were not charged after agreeing to keep away from the farm in future.”

 

slurry loveYou can’t slurry love, no you just have to wait (until you get home)

Dave Barrett-Hughes, a psychology lecturer at Suffolk University, said: “People can have fetishes about the strangest things. An urge to make love in what most of us would call a strange place is more common than you may think.

“However, I have not heard of a slurry fetish before. If anything, you risk falling ill.”

You can’t hurry coffee

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