More than 250 Ipswich football fans face peril on the River Thames after hiring a party boat for a two-hour cruise before this weekend’s Fulham match.
Intelligence staff intercepted secret Norfolk communications that expose a Norwich City plot involving a yellow submarine intent on scuppering the Super Blues’ boat.
The Canary sub is said to be heading down the River Yare from Norwich, through Great Yarmouth and out into the North Sea, before heading south and slipping unnoticed into the Thames Estuary on Saturday morning.
While the Ipswich fans prepare to board their boat MV Jewell (no kidding!) at Waterloo pier at 11am, the yellow submarine will be lurking somewhere below the murky Thames waters.
Marcus Evans has used some of his millions to commandeer HMS Belfast, moored as a museum piece near Tower Bridge since 1971.
A Royal Navy spokesman said: “We’ve allowed Ipswich Town FC to dust off the gun batteries, and have loaded up the decks with high-explosive depth charges to target the Norwich yellow submarine. With our help, the Ipswich fans will be able to enjoy their party boat to Fulham in peace.”
The pre-match boat party – brainchild of regulars on the popular Those Were The Days fans’ forum – will see 250 Town fans enjoying a bar and disco on a two-hour trip, before being dropped off at Putney Pier, close to the Fulham ground, where they will meet up with 4,000 other Ipswich fans.
TWTD forum spokesman Phil Bacon said: “The boat trip will be a marvelous experience for Ipswich fans, and it’s typical of our friends from up the A140 to try and spoil it with their submarine plan.
“We are grateful to the Royal Navy for allowing the club to recommission HMS Belfast to escort the party boat and destroy the Norfolk submariners.”
Norwich City refused to comment on the submarine plot, but one Ipswich fan quipped: “Norwich? It’s a dive, dive, dive!”