Friday, September 23, 2022

Parasailor tries to be mauled by Shark off Lowestoft beach

Parasailor

Parasailor tries to be mauled by Shark off Lowestoft beach everyday for the summer. The parasailor in the picture is not really in danger.

Every summer, the sharks off Lowestoft beach have their annual competition to see who can catch as many parasailers in as little time as possible. The sharks don’t attack or harm the humans. They just catch them and let them go.

They wear special braces which soffens their teeth so the humans don’t get hurt.

The real catch:

The way the competition is set up is one shark will be given the whole day to catch as many parasailers as possible. Then the next shark will be given the next day and so on and so on.

Only one shark at a time can have the beach to himself for the day. The competition starts on the first day of summer and ends on the last day of summer. A week after the last day, they announce the winner.

The grand prize is they get to stay in the deepest swimming pool on earth called “Deep Dive Dubai”. The shark gets to have the place to himself for 3 days. He can do whatever he wants. He can mate with as many other sharks as he desires, room service, massage and spa, bottle service, entertainment. Champagne but its premium blood.

Catch That Parasailor Mate:

This summer, 2022 will mark their 100th annual “Catch That Parasailor Mate” competition. It’s a very special year for the sharks.

There have been zero incidents of shark attacks on Lowestoft Beach since 2005. The sharks like to eat fish and other marine life. They do not like to eat humans because it goes against their religion.

If a shark eats a human, he gets the death penalty by leaving him out in the sun suffocationg to death. It’s not something a shark wants to go through.

Mr. Walsh, president of the Catch That Parasailor Competition said,

“This competition is very safe and family friendly. I participated as a parasailor when I was only 5 weeks old. There have only been two shark attack incidents and they deserved it.”

The origin:

The first incident was in 1959, where a high school girl made fun of a shark’s weight. The shark did not like it so he decided to attack her and eat her.

The second incident was in 2005 when a group of drunk fraternity guys went down to the Lowestoft beach and were trying to teach a shark “how to swim correctly”.

The shark obviously did not like this so he attacked all 8 fraternity guys and put it on his social media. The other sharks obviously follow him on social media so they saw it the next morning.

He was given the death penalty.

Walsh later stated, “As long as we dont bother the sharks, they won’t bother us. It is in the contract”

This event is free and a great way to spend the summer and 4th of July with the family. Come on down folks!

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