The position of leader of Lowestoft Seagull Squadron, currently held by legendary local Seagull 73 – the most notorious gull in Suffolk – has been targeted by a newcomer – unknown, Seagull 2946.
By Doug Trench, Defence Editor
Regularly featured in the SUFFOLK GAZETTE, Seagull 73 is not only the recognized leader of Lowestoft Seagull Squadron,.but is also the kingpin of the Lowestoft seagull underworld. As such, he faces constant challenges from younger upstart gulls, determined to rise to the top.
As pigeons cooed nearby, newbie Seagull 2946, until now unheard of as a mover and shaker in gull circles, made his bid for supremacy by joining the Red Arrows display team on its annual air show over Lowestoft last Saturday.
Reaching speeds of up to 645 mph, 2946 impressed holidaymakers and local deadbeats watching below. Less impressed was Seagull 73 who was reportedly perched atop the Sandy Toes Ice Cream Parlour receiving a massage from a couple of young female seagulls when the impressive aerial display took place.
The SUFFOLK GAZETTE has been told that the wise old squadron leader (believed to be 34) smirked to himself and mumbled “Squawk, squ squ squ squawk squawk.” (‘He’ll get what’s f*cking coming to him’) before casually returning to his massage.
Only time will tell who comes out on top in this battle for supremacy of the skies over Lowestoft.
Keep reading the SUFFOLK GAZETTE to find out what happens next!