Friday, July 12, 2024

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New Xbox game & Gamer lost a leg

New Xbox game & Gamer lost a leg
New Xbox game & Gamer lost a leg

Gaming enthusiast, Lorraine Fisher-34, was so excited to own the new Xbox game ‘Tsunami Shark Attack’ that she queued for 8 hours in the rain outside the ‘Game On Tech Store’.

Hours later, the gaming geek was fighting to save a leg, as she was viciously attacked by a REAL SHARK in scenes more horrific and blood curdling than anything seen on a gaming screen.

New Xbox games Day-dreamer

Whilst waiting in line outside the games store, day-dreaming of hunting down and slaying numerous Great Whites, Hammerheads, and Japanese Sawsharks, Lorraine found herself caught in the early stages of storm ‘Veronica’, which later that day devastated the Nasugba Bay area of the Island of Luzon.

The Island is frequently battered by severe storms, typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes and tsunamis but even Luzon-born, Gregorio wasn’t prepared for what lie ahead.

Sharkskin Onesie

After enduring a battering bus ride back to her home in Matakungbay Beach, excited Fisher, pulled up the hood on her anorak as she dashed back to the apparent safety of her home.

Terrifyingly, a lashing force 12 hurricane had by this time, enveloped the bay area and was quickly destroying everything in sight. Unphased, the nerdy techno-weeb, hastily changed into her sharkskin onesie and headed into the lounge to fire up the ‘Girl vs Megalodon’ title that she had been so longing to play.

The thrashing wind and beating rain whipped at the exterior of the girl’s flimsy home as the beeping computer noises and title music began to emit from Fisher’s games console. She sat cross-legged, transfixed even, as her own on-screen avatar battled against the computerized, pixelated array of girl-eating sharks, swirling around her in the depths of the digitized South China Sea.

Problem was, she didn’t notice that a massive, deathly Tsunami – Tsumani Dave – was about to send mega-gallons of the REAL South China sea crashing down on top of her paper-thin dwelling.

Smush & Swivel

And that was it. Foot-long shards of glass and piercing splinters of balsa-thin wood ricocheted in all directions. Bits of Palm trees battered what was left of the disintegrating lounge.

The collapsing ‘house of cards’ which moments earlier, was a gamer’s paradise, was now a torrential aquarium, filled with bubbling, frothing seawater and all its multifarious aquatic contents, including… wait for it… a pissed-off Great White Shark.

Aaaaaaargh!!!!! Chomp!!! Thrash!!! Smush!!! Swivel!!! Screaaaaam!!!!

One leg later, it was all over. The storm passed. The Tsunami settled. The blood oozed. But the game went on. The computer game never ends.

The new Xbox game ‘Tsunami Shark Attack’  – available at all good games retailers NOW!

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