Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Locals didn’t dig Time Team reunion

Locals didn’t dig Time Team reunion

GREAT BARTON, WEST SUFFOLK – Local idiots ruined a Time Team reunion comeback special when they ungraciously told its presenters to ‘piss off’.

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Classic archaeology (you try spelling it first time) TV show ‘Time Team’. Which thrilled nerdy viewers throughout the nineties. As its expert archaeologists (spellcheck) dug up old, broken stuff from muddy ditches.– had its reunion special ruined by local idiots with no appreciation for exciting archaeology (got it right that time.)

Archaeology (spellcheck) or archeology (cut and paste) or arkyology,.is the study of historical human activity through the recovery, collection, and analysis of bits of old crap.

An archaeological (Grammarly) record consists of artifacts, architecture, biofacts or ecofacts, sites, cultural landscapes, and hidden smells.

Four cobs

The Time Team descended upon the sleepy village which dates back to 942 in the will of Bishop Theodred granting lands to his kinsman Osgot, Eadulf’s son – whoever they were?

In 1086, The Domesday Book records the village’s population at 103 households made up. Out of 22 villagers, 70 freemen, 6 wenches, 7 smallholders, and 4 slaves along with 4 cobs, 18 cattle, 44 pigs, 402 sheep, 2 beehives, 1 witch, 3 dwarves, and an ogre.

Time Team reunion

The team, assisted by Baldrick – who played filthy serf and dung gatherer,.‘Tony Robinson’ in the hit BBC historical sitcom, ‘Blackadder’.– had been invited to the village by local homeowner, Georgina Fannock. Who believed she had the remains of a 13th Century shithouse buried beneath her garden shed.

Arriving last Thursday armed with a large outside broadcast unit. A helicopter, a digger, a geo-phys detector, and some terrible clothes from the 90s. The team was primed and ready to begin its three-day dig when rumours emerged that the location of their first trench had been tampered with by some local idiots.

Trench #1

Determined to salvage the three-day dig, Baldrick and team leader, Mick Aston, took to the Team’s copter to see find out what was going on.

Hovering over trench #1, it became clear to the occupants that their presence in the village was not welcome: ‘Piss Off’ read the legend dug into the site.

Despite the unsavoury actions of a few local morons – probably related to the 11th century slaves or dwarves. The Time Team reportedly continued on with its three-day dig.

The Time Team ‘Piss Off Special’ will be aired on Channel 4 in the Autumn.

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