Thursday, August 31, 2023

Felixstowe Alligator Story is ‘Croc of Sh*t’

Felixstowe Alligator Story is ‘Croc of Sh*t’

Terror visited the sandy beaches of Felixstowe yesterday when an alligator inexplicably emerged from the North sea.

Native to the hotter climates of Africa, Asia, Australia, and North and South America,.the sighting of a wild crocodile or alligator in freezing Britain is an extremely rare occurrence.

Croc ‘O’ dial

The first reports of the sighting of an alligator reached the SUFFOLK GAZETTE news desk at around 11.30 am on Wednesday.when Harold Gibbons, a local peeping Tom, spotted the beast sunbathing atop a breakwater on South Beach. Dialling ‘O’ (the direct line to Suffolk Gazette’s newsdesk).

Tom told our Angling Correspondent, Courtney Pike that he had witnessed panicked holidaymakers.scramble for the safety of surrounding beach huts and shops at the sight of the croc’ or ‘gator.

By the time Pike had arrived at the scene, the nervewracking reptile had skulked onto the sand presumably in search of something to eat. Spotting a small, pigtailed girl playing with a bucket and spade in the shallows, the giant, semiaquatic, multi-fanged beast made in her direction.

Like Jaws but with a crocodile (or alligator)

As hysterical screams, and shouts of “watch out little girl!” ricocheted off of nearby buildings, the 20ft predator skulked closer. Unaware of the danger descending upon her, the little girl clapped and laughed with glee as she patted wet sand into her bucket.

Within seconds, the fearsome monster was upon her, its salivating jaws extended like a primed pair of sausage turners. In one final, grisly motion, the crocodile or alligator violently swung its head toward the ignorant toddler, thrashing its scaly tail as it attacked.

The scene was reminiscent of the 1977 aquatic chiller-killer shark movie, ‘Jaws’, except with a crocodile or alligator…

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