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How to know a winner from a loser

The Editor
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How to know a winner from a loser
Horse racing guide to picking a winner
Horse racing returns to Cheltenham

As the UK prepares itself for the annual Cheltenham Festival Races coming up on March 10th, the stakes are getting high again as fans, supporters, neutrals, and plain lovers of the sport gear up for another exciting horse racing event.

Aside from the fun and excitement, there is always the other side that involves predicting or correctly picking out the winners from the losers. Whether you are engaged in the latter for the sheer fun of it, or you are trying to catch a huge paycheck, there are a few tips to help to make the correct predictions. This article will help you understand how to pick a winner from a loser.

Tip One: Form Guide

Form guide is an important indicator of who the winners and losers will be. And this is based purely on the performance of the horse. You need to know which horse or horses has been performing better over the previous five races. You also need to know which horse or horses have been improving the time considerably. Note that form guide is not always about long term history. You are only concerned with the current form of the horse. And to get the right picture, only pick out a horse’s performance in its previous five races only. The race cards and guides will be very useful in giving such information.

Tip Two: Betting Odds

Betting odds are also very useful indicators. The odds are adjusted by the bookmakers, and money is placed on each horse. Horses that come with shorter prices are generally more fancied or more probable to win as compared with horses with bigger prices.

Tip Three: Horse Condition

The condition of a horse is also another indicator when it comes to knowing a winning horse from a losing one. You need to have a good eye or some experience in knowing whether a horse is in good condition or not by simply observing it. Pay attention to the horse’s appearance and find out if it is calm or moving with ease.

Tip Four: Ground Condition

There are different types of ground conditions – soft, yielding, good, good to firm, firm, and heavy. Some horses have a better performance on some ground conditions than others. Consider the current condition and look out for the horse that performs better on such grounds.

Tip Five: Race Distance

The distance of the race also has to be considered. For example, if the current race is about 10 furlongs, then look for the horse that has performed better in previous races with the same distance.

Tip Six: Horse Weight

The weight that a horse carries is another indicator. The handicap system is put in place to make horses that excelled in a previous race to gain more weight and, thus, put them in a handicap and make it more difficult for them to win the next race.

Tip Seven: Trainers and Jockey

It goes without saying that these two play important roles in deciding the winners and losers of a race.

It is important to note, however, that none of the above tips offer any assurances of the performance of a horse in a race. They are only guides to consider when picking out your favourite horse.

Sources

  • https://www.gobet.com.au/blog/5-tips-for-picking-a-winning-horse/ Go Bet
  • https://www.wikihow.com/Win-at-Horse-Racing Wiki How
  • https://www.runhorse.com/how_to_pick_winners.htm Run Horse

Boris Johnson fails to negotiate withdrawal agreement – with his partner

The Editor
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Boris Johnson fails to negotiate withdrawal agreement – with his partner
Carrie Symonds and Boris Johnson no Withdrawal Agreement
Carrie Symonds and Boris Johnson (Photo: Instagram)

Prime Minister Boris Johnson failed to negotiate a withdrawal agreement with Carrie Symonds, it has emerged.

He had hoped to agree on an amicable withdrawal but ran out of time in what is being described as the real hard Brexit.

While some claim Mr Johnson has f@cked the whole country, it’s blonde-haired Carrie who is now pregnant.

The EU may have seen the back of the PM, but Carrie is now lumbered with him after the pair announced their engagement yesterday.

Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The withdrawal agreement simply never materialised.

“Now Downing Street will have to get used to the sound of wailing, burping and tantrums.

“And that’s just from Boris.”

Sky Sports axes boring submarine racing coverage

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Sky Sports axes boring submarine racing coverage
Submarine racing championships
The Germans and British were neck and neck in this exciting photo finish

Sky Sports has sensationally scrapped its coverage of the Submarine Racing Championships after viewers switched off.

Critics said there was very little to see apart from some water.

The SRC is a major event played out in the North Sea off Suffolk ever year. The United States has won the previous three seasons, with Britain and Russia usually fighting for second place.

Germany has not been a force since 1945.

But despite some interesting racing, where submarines begin off Felixstowe and race north to Lowestoft, television viewers found it all rather boring.

TV critic Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Sky Sports tried to jazz it up a bit, with panel experts chatting about the skills on show. But no-one could see anything.

“And don’t mention the VAR – Germany was furious when one of their submarines was ruled to have fouled before a victory.”

The news has blown a hole in Sky Sports’ spring scheduling. Instead, it will show extra episodes from the indoor bowls championships, which is far more exciting and visually appealing.

Russia was banned from this year’s racing after one of its submarines was caught spying on Felixstowe.

British weather takes advantage of Leap Year day by sending more rain

The Editor
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British weather takes advantage of Leap Year day by sending more rain
British weather

The British weather has announced the extra Leap Year day means it can send us even more miserable wind and rain.

Gleeful rain cloud Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We’ve been having great fun giving the British something to moan about in February.

“And now we get to do it for one extra day. Leap years are great.”

As Britain gets soaked time and again, March and the Spring can’t come soon enough.

Office worker Steve Walshe said: “If this month hadn’t been bad enough, we have one extra day of it this year.

“Leap Year days used to be exciting when I was child.

“Now it’s just an excuse for the weather to take the piss.”

Britain continues to to be battered by high winds, driving rain, snow and flooding, and forecasters say February 29 will be no different.

Norfolk man arrested after mishearing planking world record challenge

The Editor
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Norfolk man arrested after mishearing planking world record challenge

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Reporter

A Norfolk man is in custody for public indecency offences after mishearing a challenge for the planking world record.

Bubba Spuckler, 33, was inspired by American Marine George Hood who set the world planking record of eight hours and 15 minutes this week.

But he misheard what the record was about, and was arrested for outraging public decency on a special stage he had set up in Norwich city centre.

Norfolk Police spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained: “Spuckler is a little hard of hearing and thought the record was about something else entirely.

“He had been practising for years and fully expected to pull it off.

“Despite it being a cold day, and with hundreds of shoppers milling about, he got on with his disgusting act.”

Unemployed Spuckler, who lives with his sister and their eight children in Downham Market, will appear before city magistrates tomorrow.

In Norfolk, there are many experts in the activity that Spuckler was performing.

Confusion as TripAdvisor claims Ipswich is top worldwide travel destination

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Confusion as TripAdvisor claims Ipswich is top worldwide travel destination
Ipswich town centre
Glorious Ipswich, a top global travel favourite

The Suffolk Gazette was officially “confused” today after the popular website TripAdvisor claimed Ipswich is a top 25 worldwide emerging destination.

It’s normally this newspaper’s duty to write satirical or spoof news about Suffolk’s county town.

But now TripAdvisor’s Top 25 Emerging Destinations in the World list has named Ipswich as the only UK inclusion, leaving us and many townsfolk scratching our heads.

With mounting crime, anti-social behaviour, shop closures and a football team that is heading to oblivion, Ipswich was a surprise entry on TripAdvisor’s list, which is being reported gleefully all over the media today.

Travel expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “I’ve been to Ipswich. It’s a surprise to see it named alongside exotic locations in the likes of the Caribbean, Australia, Japan and Brazil.”

TripAdvisor insists the worldwide list is based on positive visitor reviews, claiming the town is popular for its “historical charm” and “ever-growing list of theatres and dance houses”.

Local man Steve Walshe said: “I don’t even know what a dance house is.

“I invite TripAdvisor reps to spend a few days wandering around the town centre to see what it’s really like.”

A Suffolk Gazette spokesperson said: “We advise TripAdvisor to leave the Ipswich jokes to us.”

Top 25 emerging destinations

  1. Kaliningrad, Russia
  2. Saranda, Albania
  3. Beirut, Lebanon
  4. Luxor, Egypt
  5. Naoussa, Greece
  6. Rugen Island, Germany
  7. Phu Quoc Island, Vietnam
  8. Monopoli, Italy
  9. La Paz, Mexico
  10. Curaçao, Caribbean
  11. Ile d’Oleron, France
  12. Guayaquil, Ecuador
  13. Tulsa, United States
  14. Ipswich, United Kingdom
  15. Franschhoek, South Africa
  16. Tangier, Morocco
  17. Takamatsu, Japan
  18. Cala d’Or, Spain
  19. Petropolis, Brazil
  20. Antwerp, Belgium
  21. Mirissa, Sri Lanka
  22. Alvor, Portugal
  23. Winnipeg, Canada
  24. Darwin, Australia
  25. Agra, India

Chain gangs to solve low-skilled worker shortage after immigration changes

The Editor
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Chain gangs to solve low-skilled worker shortage after immigration changes
chain gang

Britain’s prison population will be forced to work in chain gangs on farms after new immigration rules ban low-skilled workers entering the country.

Home Secretary Priti Patel today unveiled radical new measures to prevent fruit rotting in the fields and creating food shortages.

Many foreign workers do the jobs Brits don’t want to, but the Government’s new points-based immigration system, announced today, means they can no longer get a working visa from next January.

Ms Patel has allayed fears by announcing all prisoners will be available to join chain gangs to work in the fields and do manual labour at care homes.

Chain gangs were made popular in the US by soul singer Sam Cooke.

But the use of forced labour had been frowned upon in the UK – until now.

“This is a super way to kill two birds with one stone,” said Home Office spokesperson Lorraine Fisher, 34. “We will get the lazy prisoners working and farmers can harvest their crops.

“Better still, you and I will still get our strawberries, lettuce and other tasty crops that had been back-breaking work for Eastern Europeans for years.”

Suffolk potato farmer, Maurice Piper had long called for chain gangs.

“We’ve got Hollesley Prison down the road, full of layabout convicts who do nothing but eat food, watch television and play on the xBox.

“I’m all for them coming to the farm in a chain gang to pick my spuds and other vegetables and fruit.”

Village chain-maker Rick Petchey, speaking from his forge said: “This is excellent news.”

Custard shortage hits British supermarkets

The Editor
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Custard shortage hits British supermarkets
Custard shortage

Britain is facing a custard shortage after crops in Southern Europe were devastated by unusual freezing weather, it has emerged.

Custard prices in supermarkets have already more than doubled, and retail experts say shelves could be empty by the end of the week.

Households now face the prospect of enduring family favourites like apple pie or rhubarb crumble without the tasty yellow sauce.

Problems emerged in Southern Europe, especially Spain and parts of Italy, where weeks of snow and ice caused the custard plant crop to fail in large areas.

Custard

The recent harvest produced a record low yield, and import prices have increased substantially – and become rare as supplies run out.

Shoppers are only just getting over the devastating courgette crisis, after the long green veg was also hit by inclement weather.

Suffolk shopper Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “I was in Aldi yesterday and there was no custard left. Staff said there was a shortage and they did not know when they would get any more in.

“It’s a trifle unfortunate.”

But retail experts said the shortage will not last long. Ryan Fraser, head of Food Imports and Distribution Inc., said: “The custard crops in the UK have not been affected the by weather, and it looks like the harvest here, expected in March, will be fine.”

Chefs say shoppers should try alternative sweet sauces, like chocolate or toffee. “British custard is out of season in winter, so it’s not something we should simply expect all year round,” said Justine Kahn, head chef at the Tower Hotel in Framlingham.

A Suffolk Gazette supermarket survey today found very few custard supplies in the region. There were only a few tubs of Ambrosia custard left at the Tesco store in Martlesham, near Ipswich, while Asda in Bury St Edmunds had run out completely.

Sainsbury said it had been forced to raise prices of 300g Bird’s Custard from 98p to £3.10 to cover costs, while Asda in Felixstowe said it had run out but hoped to get at least one pallet of custard in later this week.

Custard is made by extracting oils from the pretty custard flower and mixing with sugar and flour.

Coffee time

Have you been affected by the Custard Crisis? Maybe it’s time to relax with a Suffolk Gazette mug, produced by our partners DirtyOldGoat.com – see the full collection on the website, or buy direct from some of the items below…

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