Sunday, October 19, 2025
Home Blog Page 280

Tommy Robinson should be UK ambassador, says Donald Trump

2

US President Donald Trump has revealed he wants jail-bound Tommy Robinson to be Britain’s new ambassador to the US.

As the diplomatic row with the UK exploded following leaked emails from current ambassador Sir Kim Darroch, Mr Trump has made clear who he wants in the top Washington job.

A Whitehouse insider said: “Tommy Robinson yesterday appealed for political asylum in the US because he’s about to be imprisoned in the UK for contempt of court.

“The President is fond of right-wing British activists and believes he can go one step further, and facilitate a deal for Mr Robinson to become British ambassador to the US.

“It’s a perfect solution – saving the poor young man from Jihadi death squads in prison AND offering him a cushy new job in the US.

“The Trump supporters here in America will love him.

“And best of all, it means we see the back of dimwitted Darroch, who had the temerity to call Mr Trump’s Presidency inept, dysfunctional, faction-riven, clumsy and unpredictable.”

Mr Trump famously retweeted Britain First, a far-right group, and has previously suggested Nigel Farage should take the Foreign Office role in the US.

Mr Robinson claims being sent to prison in the UK will be a “death sentence”.

He will learn his fate this week after being found guilty of contempt of court when he filmed defendants accused of the sexual exploitation of young girls and live-streamed the footage, in breach of a reporting ban, outside Leeds Crown Court in May 2018.

Two possible hitches over Robinson becoming our man in Washington – he has assault and mortgage fraud convictions in the UK and once tried to enter America with a false passport.

Trump gets controversial Independence Day gift from Boris Johnson

0
Independence Day
Boris Johnson’s Independence Day gift to Donald Trump

Toy models fan Boris Johnson has sent a controversial Independence Day gift to US President Donald Trump.

Mr Johnson, who hopes to become the next British Prime Minister, dispatched a box of British Infantry Regiment model soldiers to the White House.

The box features the fearsome Brits who single-handedly took on the enemy in the American War of Independence.

It was our brave actions that enabled America to be free of evil foreign oppression.

Now, Mr Trump can play with the toy Brit soldiers on his desk in the Oval Office. He can re-enact key battles from the war, made famous by the glorious British red coats.

Military historian Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “If Mr Johnson is to become Prime Minister, he’ll need to get along well with Mr Trump.

“Sharing a passion for models, though Mr Trump prefers those to be two-legged and female, is a good way to start.

“I’m sure Mr Trump will love these toy soldiers, a wonderful reminder from Britain about how we managed to win the war for America and its people.”

Mr Johnson revealed recently how he liked to make his own models – of cardboard buses.

Norfolk man missing for five weeks after visiting escape room

0
Dudley Spuckler, in happier times

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

A man who visited an escape room has been missing for five weeks, it has emerged.

Suffolk Police have put out an alert for Dudley Spuckler, 29, who hasn’t been able to work out how to get out since entering the puzzle complex in May.

Mr Spuckler, from Downham Market in Norfolk, was treated to a visit to the Ipswich escape room for a birthday surprise.

But after entering the room, he was so bamboozled by the codes and various clues he was unable to find his way out.

Now, he has been trapped somewhere in the industrial estate complex for five weeks and officers are keen to find him.

“His family are concerned about his whereabouts,” explained a Suffolk Police spokesman.

“Normally visitors are able to solve all the puzzles and clues to get out of an escape room in an hour.

“But Mr Spuckler is from Norfolk and found the whole thing utterly confusing.

“Staff went looking for him and have no idea where he went.”

Anyone with information is urged to contact police.

Horse race betting explained

0

Horse races and betting is a love story that’s been going on for centuries. Going to the races has almost always been associated with betting. From regular punters to the elite, the world stakes billions on horse races each year.

Of course, before you go deeper in horse betting, you need to understand the basics first. The art of horse race betting isn’t something you can learn in a day or two. It takes a lot of learning and practice, so it’s safe to say that you won’t be able to make money right off the bat.

Almost all horse racing betting offers are pari-mutuel bets. This means that the prize money is shared proportionally among the winners. According to estimates, there are over $100 billion of bets placed on horse races annually which makes it quite a lucrative industry. There’s a lot of money to be made in horse racing, but only if you’re patient and stake on the right bets.

Horse Race Betting Basics

Before you go deeper into horse betting, you need to learn more about your favourite’s form. Factors such as the horse’s diet, constitution, soundness, and proneness to injuries may all make or break an excellent racehorse. Even if a bookie favours one horse rather than others, you should check all other competitors before you make a decision.

The race card is another thing to consider. If you can’t read it, chances are you won’t be able to place a proper bet. For those of you unaware, it is a printed card used in horse racing that provides information about the races and horses that compete in each. Race cards are often published in newspapers and contain information such as the horse’s name, weight, age, and its recent form (among other things). Learn how to read the race card and things will be much simpler when you decide to bet.

How to Win at Horse Race Betting

Once you’ve mastered the basics, it’s time to place your stake. First, you’ll need to pick a race and trust us, options are aplenty. You can bet on local races and worldwide cups – it’s just a question of how good the odds are. Choose your races carefully and just like in any sport, don’t trust the favourite only. Anything can happen in a horse race, and it’s not always the best horse that wins.

As a matter of fact, there have been many long shots in races such as the Kentucky Derby that have stunned punters and the public. For example, Donerail, the 1913 Kentucky Derby winner, won at odds of 91-1, which, as you can guess, made many people pretty rich.

Before you even consider placing a bet, you’ll have to set limits for yourself. Horse race betting, like all types of betting, can be highly addictive. You will find yourself chasing your losses after a short time if you aren’t careful with your budget, and you don’t want that to happen. Chasing your losses will put you in perpetual failure, with mounting debts you can’t get out of. Stay within your daily, weekly or monthly budget, though, and this won’t happen. Never go over the limit and remember – do it for fun, not for money.

Once you’re all set and ready to go, place a bet on your favourite and watch the race. You can do this either by visiting the racetrack which is the way to go or place a bet online and watch a stream of the race. Of course, if the operator has it. All that’s left is to wait and see if your horse wins. With each win, you’ll get better and better at it, which will hopefully translate to bigger and better wins.

Promotion season beckons for Lambert’s new-look Ipswich

0
Paul Lambert. then with Aston Villa

As a frankly depressing season in the Championship which resulted in relegation is now firmly in the back of the minds of all Ipswich Town fans, the Tractor Boys are gearing up for a season in unfamiliar territory in League One.

Paul Lambert, the man who is tasked with taking the club back to the Championship at the first time of asking, attempted to steady what was, essentially, a sinking ship and, in the end, despite some much improved performances it was all too little, too late.

The former Norwich City boss has certainly earned his chance to rebuild the club, though, and with his decent managerial CV and tactical nous, Ipswich should certainly head into the season in a buoyant, positive mood despite coming off the back of a depressing season in the Championship. The shackles are off, so to speak and, although the pressure will be on to win promotion, the players will hopefully adapt and enjoy their new League One surroundings.

It’ll be far from easy for Lambert’s Ipswich, though – ask Sunderland fans. The Black Cats had the biggest budget in League One last campaign but still failed to achieve what Ipswich’s objective is for the season ahead – going up. Odds on Ipswich winning promotion are currently priced at 2/1 (bet365), with Sunderland themselves taking up the tag as ‘favourites’ at 6/4 (bet365).

Bookmakers can often disagree on the odds, so you can click here to get a full list of top UK bookmakers supporting League One betting to compare prices. Yet, from what we can see so far from Bet365, the competition for Ipswich looks tough:  Portsmouth (5/2), Rotherham (10/3), Peterborough (7/2) Fleetwood and Doncaster (both 5/1) will all fancy their chances of promotion to the Championship next season. Lambert might find that League One is no walk in the park. 

Competition will certainly be strong for Ipswich, that’s for sure, but with one of the biggest budgets in the division and the opportunity to turn Portman Road into a fortress once again, the Tractor Boys will be expected to be there or thereabouts.

New additions, which are frankly desperately needed at the club, have already got underway too as Lambert looks to make his mark at the club and finally put his stamp on what is essentially previous manager Paul Hurst’s squad. James Norwood has joined the club from Tranmere Rovers after scoring 32 goals for the League One new boys last season and is the Tractor Boys’ third signing of the summer transfer window so far after goalkeepers Tomas Holy and Adam Przybek both joined.

Former AFC Wimbledon defender Dei Oshilaja, who is a free agent after leaving the Dons at the end of the season and nearly joined Ipswich in January, is continually linked with a move to the club. As is Gillingham striker Tom Eaves, who has been impressing in a Gills shirt since joining the club in 2017 and is potentially the ideal foil for James Norwood.

Things are certainly starting to take shape at Portman Road ahead of what is a humongous season for the club. In Paul Lambert many Ipswich fans trust, despite not perhaps feeling fully onboard with those above him at the club. A few impressive signings, much like the James Norwood’s of this world, plus a solid start to the League One campaign, could certainly quell any nerves and help mute any frustrations still lingering from last season.

Ipswich are on the comeback trail and despite being in a tough division, promotion is a must. A long, hard season is ahead but the Tractor Boys appear to be more than up to the task.

Hundreds trapped for hours in Norfolk diversion chaos

1
Norfolk’n idea where to go. Photo source: Norfolk’n idea either

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

There was widespread confusion in Norfolk today after this temporary road layout caused 15-mile tailbacks.

Motorists heading one way were forced to turn the other way before being turned around again.

Eventually, the whole damned mess blocked every possible exit and everyone is now stuck.

It is believed some drivers, who were either heading for Burnham Market in North Norfolk or Fakenham, have been sitting behind the wheel waiting for help since this morning.

Norfolk County Council roads expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “There are some major roadworks and so this is just a diversionary tactic.”

It’s expected that one of the signs will be removed shortly, leaving everyone to guess if it was the right one.

Boris Johnson Diet Book, coming soon

0
Going, going, gone. Boris Johnson in The Florida Post

The Suffolk Gazette has bought the rights to the Boris Johnson Diet Book and is proud to reveal the secrets that could change your life.

In a frank and detailed list of activities, the book will help you shed stones and run the country.

We will be serialising the book in order to extract every piece of value from it that we can. But here are the key ingredients:

* Kick start your regime by having three ounces of unruly hair chopped off.

* Cut out all that foreign muck, like French butter and pate, Danish bacon and German sausages.

* Eat a rival for breakfast.

* Jog whenever you see a photographer.

* Step up the proteins, like lean rare beef, venison, pheasant, smoked salmon and Russian Caviar.

* Eat less bread. Leave it for the poor people.

* Join your local Darius Guppy Boxercise Class.

* Have sex six times a day either with someone you love, like yourself, someone else’s wife or your new bird Carrie who put you on the diet and is compiling the book.

* Hang an old outfit from when you were slender on the wardrobe door to motivate you. It could be one of your wedding outfits or your uniform from the Bullingdon Club.

* Keep a straight banana in your trouser pocket for emergencies.

* Cut out the Hobnobbing and keep your hands off the millionaire’s shortbread.

* Mindfulness is important so meditate for twenty minutes listening to your own speeches while hypnotising yourself to your favourite place, ie Number 10 Downing Street.

* Lift weighty books like Churchill.

* Snack on meagre Iranian prison rations.

* Allow yourself a treat every night, like a glass of Champagne or a teaspoon of Tate and Lyle’s Icing Sugar, which you can sip in black coffee or snort until you give an energetic sneeze.

* Exercise your brain, too, by knocking off a ten-minute column for the Daily Telegraph.

* Don’t feel guilty about having a lie down when you need one. Lying can be very good for you.

Traffic chaos on Norfolk’s first motorway

0
Norfolk motorway
Traffic chaos on Norfolk’s new M140

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

The opening of Norfolk’s first ‘motorway’ has caused traffic chaos, it has emerged.

The super-highway across fields linking Downham Market and Norwich descended into farce when local yokels discovered they had no idea how to use it.

One man assumed his push-bike – one of the first newfangled two-wheel contraptions to be introduced in the county – had right of way on the new route.

But people wandering around aimlessly admiring the hedges also claimed they had the right of way.

The result was chaos with neither side clear what the rule of the road should be.

Norfolk traffic cop Sgt Bubba Spuckler said: “It will take a few years for this new motorway to settle in.

“The good news is it cuts down the travel time between Downham Market and Norwich to four days.”

Roads minister Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We gave Norfolk some money for their roads. It turns out they do not have roads so they opened a new footpath.”

The news comes after it emerged the A140 between Suffolk and Norfolk was being sponsored by Anusol because it’s a pain the in the arse.