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Debenhams model shows off new matching trousers and jacket range

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Debenhams hopes to revive its fortunes with a stunning new range of men’s clothing, the Suffolk Gazette can reveal.

Store bosses have created a cutting edge, fashionable look that is set to take Britain’s High Streets by storm.

Our exclusive photos from the launch shoot feature a hunky male model showing off the matching cream flared trousers and jacket.

Retail buyer Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Debenhams has not always got it right but this is a look every man in Britain will be happy with.

“The trousers, in particular, have a beautiful flow to them and allow for plenty of movement.

“I particularly like the slimming nature of the jacket.”

Fashion experts say the new range makes men look powerful and in control of their own destiny; able to stand on their own two feet – even though the wearer appears not to have any.

One said: “We can see from the photoshoot that other men are so impressed with the new look that they whip out their notebooks to jot down the details so they don’t forget.”

Debenhams hopes the new look will revive its flagging fortunes.

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Liverpool pubs introduce new soup of the day called Stella, £3.70

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Liverpool pubs selling soup
Special soup in Liverpool

Pubs in Liverpool are selling special soups to become a gastropub and avoid closure during lockdown.

Top-selling soup dishes include Stella (£3.70), Carling (£3.30) and a tasty soup from Italy called Peroni (£3.40).

Under new top COVID-19 risk tier rules, pubs in Liverpool are forced to close unless they are gastro pubs.

Gastro pubs can remain open and serve drinks as long as they do so with a main meal.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, landlady of the Prick and Gooseberry pub in Liverpool said: “We have started selling food and our soups are extremely popular.

“On our trial run last night, one regular loved his soup so much he had eight portions of it.

“And he washed it down with some lager, which the rules allow.”

It is expected the new soup diet is expected to sweep Britain.

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Risk-free betting strategies used by top gamblers

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Wondering how to place bets with low risk? Then check out some of the most promising strategies used by the pro gamblers. Here you can find two of the top-class methods to make your betting much more efficient. These tips can be used daily and include some simple steps; even a newbie can run.

The popularity of sports betting among virtual gamblers shows annual growth. Some sports fans do not neglect the opportunity to bet a few euros on their favorite team or sport. If luck is on their side, then this is an excellent opportunity to witness good profits. For better or worse, sports betting is a game of chance. It means that there is always a risk of losing funds in an instant.

This is why the seasoned gamblers use various tricks and strategies to make it the least risky. Knowing how to reduce risks and face big profits is a fundamental issue. There is no 100% way to make a profit after every bet. However, several factors make it possible to apply low-risk strategies, perfect for betting as well as online casinos. Still, if the matched betting can be used for both (for example, there are lots of UK casinos offering free spins bonus), the arbitrage option can only be applied for sports gambling.

How to bet with minimal risk

If you are new to the world of betting or planning to play for high stakes, then low-risk strategies are the way to go. The point is that a player needs to place bets with the least probability of losing funds.

Skilled bettors use two of the most popular strategies today. Each will help you reduce risk and feel more confident regardless of a sport or previous gaming experience. It includes:

  • Matched betting.
  • Arbitrage betting.

Each method has its hits and misses. These methods are great for well-versed users and novice gamblers who plan to place bets at most bookmaker companies.

Any of these strategies always carries a risk of losing funds. Use these techniques with the utmost care and consider all the necessary factors inherent in a particular sporting event.

Before proceeding with a detailed review of these strategies and the specifics of their use, you need to pay attention to one more equally important detail. This concerns the right choice of the house. Before registering and recharging a deposit, it is worth weighing the pros and cons.

Don’t be fooled by mind-blowing bonus offers that promise some outstanding benefits. It is useful to study the provider’s reputation. This will allow you to be confident in the platform’s reliability and focus solely on the betting process.

Subtleties of using arbitrage betting for less risk

Arbitrage betting is also known as arb betting. It is a low-risk betting strategy and is considered one of the most appropriate ways to succeed in sports betting. The whole point is that a gambler needs to find a discrepancy in prices and odds on different platforms. It is perfect for minimizing the risks of losing funds and increases your chances of winning.

Before studying this method in detail, it is worth noting that you will need to get your hand to achieve the desired results. Choosing the bookmaker that offers the best odds is not an easy task. Moreover, every mistake can be very costly.

It is not that easy to find odds discrepancies among multiple bookies. Please take the time and patience to analyze the platforms and reduce the risk when placing bets on a particular sport.

Although this method may offer a high chance of winning, it has several cons. You will need to do complex calculations and have a substantial budget. If this strategy is so challenging, then why do pro players use it daily? Despite the disadvantages, this method helps to earn profits consistently. If done correctly, then you can quickly skyrocket your chances to win big.

Most common mistakes beginners make

As mentioned earlier, there is no way to get endless winnings. However, if you use the strategy correctly, then the risk of losing funds will not overcome the results you witnessed earlier.

Breathtaking tips on how to use the strategy:

  • If you have found a profitable deal, you should ignore the terms of payment and the bookmaker company’s T&Cs.
  • Do not move large amounts of funds frequently. The bookie may suspect something was wrong and freeze your account without prior warning.
  • Allocate as much time as possible to calculate odds and profits. Haste makes waste, and you might not get the expected result.

Features of using matched betting strategy

It is the second most popular scheme that can be used for betting on sports with minimal risk. Both strategies are great ways to break the bank, but they have several key differences.

Matched betting is suitable for players who actively use bonuses and promotions. Unlike the first method, you do not risk your own money and place bets using bonus funds. Seasoned gamblers also call this strategy as a no-risk betting or bonus hunting.

The primary purpose is to use promotions that offer free bets or cash rewards. Using bonus gifts, you can bet on the maximum number of probabilities. The more bets you can place using prize funds, the more likely one of your chances will be successful, and you will make a profit. To do this, you will need to find not one, but several sleek bookies that offer match rewards.

Today it is easy enough to find some great welcome deals for newbies. Even if you do cursory research, you will witness that these rewards are commonplace.

Gunnersaurus to retrain as Prime Minister

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After yet another botched Government communication, this time suggesting cultural stars could retrain during COVID-19, Gunnersaurus is set to become Prime Minister.

The former Arsenal mascot, a victim of coronavirus-related cuts at the Premier League club, is taking up the Government advice to train for a new career.

Mascot manager Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Gunnersaurus has had a lot of public sympathy after losing his job during COVID-19.

“He has decided to retrain like the Government advises, and will now become Prime Minister.

“He certainly can’t do much worse than the dinosaurs currently in Downing Street.”

A Government poster caused outrage this morning, suggesting ballet dancer ‘Fatima’s next job could be in cyber, but she just doesn’t know it yet’.

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Ipswich Town injury list prompts new training ground hospital wing

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The new Ipswich Town FC medical room
The new medical room at Ipswich Town FC

This is the new Ipswich Town medical centre, opened this week to cope with unprecedented numbers of injuries.

The squad is being decimated by one injury after another, with midfielder Cole Skuse the latest to be out for three months with a freak knee injury.

The unit at Town’s Playford Road training ground fits 30 beds with a nursing station. It is already full.

Our exclusive picture shows striker James Norwood in the first bed on the left, with new injury worry Cole Skuse next to him.

Ipswich’s injury list is getting a little silly now:

  • Cole Skuse, knee, three months
  • James Norwood, hamstring, seven weeks
  • Stephen Ward, Achilles, one week
  • Flynn Downs, knee, two months
  • Kane Vincent-Young, Achilles, two months
  • Tristan Nydam, ankle, two months
  • Aaron Drinan, thigh, two months
  • Ben Morris, knee, out for the season
  • Luke Woolfenden, groin, just back to training
  • Kayden Jackson, groin, just back to training

Sporting medical expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, “Ipswich seem to be having a spot of bad luck with injuries.

“It is good to see club owner Marcus Evans has invested in this hospital wing at the training ground to look after the poor players.”

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Mike Pence fly says it has never been so embarrassed

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Lorraine on the Vice President’s head

The fly that landed on Vice President Mike Pence’s head during the US election television debate has admitted it was a terrible mistake.

Viewers watched transfixed as the insect arrived on set, landed on Pence’s head and refused to budge.

Fly Lorraine Fisher, 34, in her first interview since the incident watched by millions prior to the election of 2020, said: “I made a mistake.

“I was buzzing around looking for something to eat and smelt something off. It looked like a white dog poo. You don’t see many of those these days, so I went to investigate.

“Once I landed, I got my legs stuck on the Vice President’s hair lacquer. When you have six legs, that’s a problem.

“Anyway, I couldn’t get away and there I was in front of the cameras for everyone to see.

“Some people get a buzz from being on TV but I hated it. It was so embarrassing.”

The Mike Pence fly
Lorraine the fly in happier times

Told that her appearance was the most compelling thing about the Vice Presidential debate, Lorraine added: “You think that was extraordinary? Let me tell you I laid 100 eggs on that man’s head. Wait until he wakes up tomorrow.”

But Lorraine is now worried about COVID-19. She will be tested today and hopes to get the all-clear after her close brush with Donald Trump’s running mate.

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COVID-19 forces closure of Norfolk community washing baths

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Downham Market community washing bath

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Norfolk’s community washing baths, used by yokels for centuries to attempt some semblance of cleanliness, are closing because of the coronavirus.

Local councils kept the washing facilities open for as long as possible, but cases of infection are rising.

Norfolk people like to wash each other in community baths once a month – a tradition going back centuries.

With no running water in most local hovels, it’s the only wash most Norfolk people get.

Now there are fears that while they cannot now catch COVID at the baths, they will simply die in their own filth.

One of the biggest community washing baths is in Downham Market and is pictured at the top of this page.

It allows up to 50 naked peasants at a time, male and female, although it’s sometimes difficult to tell the difference.

Suffolk public health inspector Lorraine Fisher, 34, explained: “It’s hard for the rest of us to comprehend why these places still exist.

“It’s like something from the Middle Ages. But Norfolk people like this way to get their monthly wash.”

The Government has ordered all 25 of the county’s communal washing baths to shut tomorrow, meaning there will be something of a rush on today.

Local man Bubba Spuckler, who lives with his sister and their eight children, said: “Luckily I had a wash two weeks ago, so this doesn’t affect me at all.”

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New AC/DC single restores some order to 2020 at last

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By Simon Young, Editor (no relation to Angus)

The madness of 2020 finally sees some normality return today as legendary rockers AC/DC release their first single since 2014.

Fans are reassured the classic guitar riff sound is as strong as ever – and allows us all to forget about COVID-19, politics, jobs and Donald Trump for three minutes and five seconds.

More if you play it on loop.

AC/DC biographer Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We’ve waited since 2014 for a new AC/DC single. Shot in the Dark is the band at its best. Listen now, with the volume up high, and forget about what a sh*t time we’re all having.”

Guitarist Angus Young used the song’s launch to pay tribute to musician Eddie Van Halen, who died yesterday.

Shot in the Dark is the first single since Angus’ elder brother, Malcolm Young, who had been with the band since launching in 1973, died in 2017.

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