Sport

Poldark to ride in Grand National

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By Nobby Jockey, Racing Editor

Dashing Cornishman Ross Poldark is a shock entry for the Grand National, the Suffolk Gazette can reveal.

Trainers have been impressed with the handsome star’s riding skills on Sunday night prime-time TV hit, Poldark.

He spends most of each hour-long episode riding his horse along Cornwall cliff tops at breakneck speed, despite wearing a huge hat and cape.

Horse racing experts spotted his talent and soon made discreet enquiries to Poldark’s Cornish estate about signing him up for the big race at Aintree next month.

Newmarket trainer Leicester Biggot got his man and will now partner Poldark with his much-fancied horse Adnams Bitter in the Grand National.

Speaking from his famous Suffolk yard, Biggot said: “Poldark shows exceptional speed and skill on his horse every Sunday night on television.

“And he does this time and again – it’s almost as though he does nothing else. No wonder his family mining operation ground to a halt.

“Now I can put his riding skills to good use in the biggest horse race on earth.”

poldark-horse

Poldark training for the Grand National

Bookies have already made Poldark even money to win the National on Adnams Bitter.

Paddy Power’s Kenny Wynn said: “It’s safe to say Poldark will be the housewives’ favourite for the Grand National this year.”

The Suffolk Gazette tried to contact Poldark in the 18th Century for a comment, but he was out riding along a remote Cornish cliff top.

But his alluring kitchen wench said: “He does love to mount up and have a good ride.

“And he definitely likes finishing first.”

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2 Comments

  1. Gisela

    March 18, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    I hope he doesn’t like finishing first in everything… LOL

    • The Editor

      March 18, 2015 at 9:48 pm

      Dear Gisela,

      You must have a filthy mind. Next you’ll be saying the first part of that quote — “He does love to mount up and have a good ride” — also has some deviant sexual meaning.

      Regards,
      The Editor

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