Saturday, May 11, 2024

High horse refuses to fly cattle class

High horse refuses to fly cattle class

DUBLIN, EIRE – A horse, dubbed ‘Pegasus’ – the winged horse of Greek mythology – broke free from the cargo hold of a ‘Suffolk Airways’ passenger jet en route from Ipswich to Dublin.

Much to the astonishment of other passengers on the short flight to the Emerald Isle, Pegasus, managed to kick open the cargo hold door and make his way into the cabin.

High horse

In front of bemused passengers, Pegasus made a beeline for the first-class section. Discussing his complaint about soggy in-flight hay and lack of legroom in the cargo hold with cabin crew, the mile-high horse made it abundantly clear that he would prefer a seat with a view and perhaps some free oats served on fine china.

The cabin crew, caught off guard by the unexpected equine stowaway, and unsure how the other first-class passengers would react to having a horse in their midst, attempted to negotiate with Pegasus, offering carrots and apples instead in an attempt to maintain order in the skies.

Fat humans

Expressing his disagreement with the offer by taking a crap along the cabin corridor, Pegasus continued to cause a stink by barging into aisle-seated passengers and whipping their faces with his tail – something that regular flyers are used to fat humans doing to them as they wobble to the toilet… every 5 minutes.

Suffolk Airways has since issued a statement assuring the public that they are conducting a thorough review of their cargo hold security measures. Meanwhile, Pegasus, having left a trail of horseshoe-shaped chaos in its wake, has become a viral sensation as passengers recount the tale of the high-flying horse with a taste for the extravagant.

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