Sunday, May 26, 2024

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Voles join pigs & goats in Marxist uprising against humans

GREAT YARMOUTH, NORFOLK – The long-awaited grand opening of Great Yarmouth’s £121 million Herring Bridge has been scuppered after workmen discovered a Marxist-Feminist vole living nearby.

Furry golf ball at Herring Bridge

Voles, which are about the size of a furry golf ball, are protected by law.and its discovery put an immediate stop to building works.

Attempts to safely relocate the rat-like creature have reportedly been met with fierce resistance, and it is believed that the animal’s presence on the Herring Bridge may be down to more than just chance.

Political activism amongst the animal population of East Anglia is on the rise.– as demonstrated by the recent actions of the rebellious pigs of East Suffolk.and the feral goats of Great Wood Hill.– and it is thought that the resistance of the ‘Radical Feminist Vole of Herring Bridge’ as she has become known, is a deliberate act intended to strengthen the wave of cultural Marxism sweeping the UK.

Radical Rodent

Inspired by the infuriating tactics adopted by the motley ‘Just Stop Oil’ campaigners,.the Trotskyite sit-in on the bridge means it will not now be open in time for the town’s main summer tourism season, as was originally hoped. FFS.

Due to the closure of the road leading to the Herring Bridge. This reporter was unable to conduct a face-to-furry-face interview with the radical student rodent,. but using the mobile phone number posted on her facebook page,.I was able to talk to her via direct messaging. The indignant critter was not prepared to answer my entirely reasonable questions, but did issue the following statement:

“I, sister Lemin, of the order of Feminist Rodentia, to hereby claim this bridge, in the name of ALL OPPRESSED NON-CIS GENDER RODENTS IN EAST ANGLIA. For centuries, we rodents have been denied the same rights as those who claim to want to protect us.

I am of course talking about those FASCIST BASTARDS at the RSPCA. It should be obvious to anyone that the RSPCA are just a front for the IMPERIALIST WHITE SUPREMACIST CAPITALIST PATRIARCHY and their claims to want to protect us are based on WHITE PRIVILEGE and UNCONSCIOUS BIAS. As such, it is our determined aim to SMASH THE RACIST RSPCA! SMASH THE RACIST RSPCA! SMASH THE RACIST RSPCA!!! (at least that is what they taught me to say at Vole College.) ”

What do you actually want?

I did point it out to the clearly extremely narcissistic varmint.that it was only as a result of the imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy under which she was living that there even existed a bridge on which she was able to live, and asked her what it was that she actually wanted – to which she offered no reply.

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