Saturday, June 1, 2024

Stashed £16,700 possibly ‘paper round profits’ say parents of local estate agent

Stashed £16,700 possibly ‘paper round profits’ say parents of local estate agent

Mr & Mrs Jeremy Piggledy of Cretingham, Suffolk got the shock of a lifetime when they discovered £16,700 in used notes stashed in their son’s sock drawer.

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Tom Piggledy, 23, a supposed estate agent, still lives with his parents despite the fact that he is a grown man and should really have flown the nest by now. Described as shy and somewhat introverted by his parents, the secretive young man arouses different opinions in those who know him locally.

Definitely Stashed

For example, a young hooded thug whom I met loitering on the swings in a nearby park told me “Y’aknow the pig. H’yalways about. Y’can score off da pig anytyime, bruv, definitely.” I wasn’t entirely sure what the feckless ingrate was trying to communicate to me but I don’t think it had anything to do with estate agency.

Possibly Stashed

Mrs Jeremy Piggledy (first name unknown) meekly suggested to me that her son was ‘a very good boy. Quiet but charming, and extremely intelligent. He is popular and seems to have lots of friends whose names Jeremy and I don’t know.’

I asked Mr Piggledy (Jeremy) where he thought the stashed money had come from. “Real estate one imagines. Where else could it have come from?” he told me through squinted eyes. “He did have a paper round, but that was some years ago now.” Added Mrs Jeremy perplexedly.

I asked the Jeremy-Piggledys if they had found anything else untoward when they were invading their son’s privacy. “Well, actually, yes,” Said Mrs Higgledy-Piggledy. “We found some small re-sealable plastic bags which looked like they were filled with tiny yellowing florets of Brocolli, and also some small scales for weighing tea. Tom was very keen on nature as a boy, you’d always find him talking to himself in the garden. Sweet boy.”

Probably Stashed

I asked the Higgledy-Piggledy-Pughs where their son was now. “Oh, he’s probably visiting his friends around the village. He says that going to lots of different properties each evening helps him research for his estate agency work. I think he was on the phone with someone called Mary Jane earlier, wasn’t he Jeremy? He’s always talking about her on the phone. I don’t know if she’s his girlfriend?”

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